People end relationships for different reasons. One study shows that the most popular relationship deal-breaker for both men and women is apathy. The second reason people said they would break up with someone was if the person was “gross.”
Does owning gross pillows count as being gross? For this woman, her BF’s dirty pillows weren’t exactly a deal-breaker, but it was the reason she refused to spend the night with him. The guy has had them since he was a kid and said they hold a sentimental value to him. Wanting an outside opinion, the woman went online and asked people whether she overreacted.
These disgusting pillows were the reason this woman refused to spend the night at her boyfriend’s
Image credits: plantsandpoison
She asked people online whether she overreacted, as her BF thought this was a trivial problem
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
Image credits: plantsandpoison
The next day, the OP posted an update: a date to IKEA solved the gross pillow issue
You thought the girlfriend not spending the night at her boyfriend’s was the last of this argument? Not quite. A day after posting her original story, u/plantsandpoison came back with an update. She answered some burning (and some quite comical) questions and shared how she was able to convince her BF to change the dirty pillows.
The author said her boyfriend was aware she posted his pillows on Reddit. She added some more details about his cleanliness as well. “His mattress is totally clean and newish and has a protector on it and he cleans his sheets when he does his laundry (weekly),” the author wrote. “So clean about his cat/litter too – no stray litter I have to walk over.”
Surprisingly, the dirty pillows didn’t smell bad. “Just musty,” according to u/plantsandpoison. She also let people know that the boyfriend’s personal hygiene is on point. “As we have showered together, yes he actually spends a lot of time showering/washing himself. Comically so,” she added.
The couple apparently talked about the whole situation again and it became clear that the pillows really might’ve had sentimental value to the guy. “They were one of the few things he took with him when he got kicked out by his parents when he was 15,” the author wrote.
They boyfriend also admitted he was willing to change his sheets but didn’t know where to go. “We went on a little date to IKEA and got him a duvet, duvet cover, two new pillows and pillowcases,” the author shared. In the end, the dirty pillows turned to be the catalyst for good communication between the couple.
As time passes, we are willing to ignore our partners’ nasty habits more and more
Gross habits can be a deal-breaker for many people at the beginning of a relationship. However, as more time two people spend together, the less these previously annoying habits might seem. In a previous interview for Bored Panda, Relationship Therapist Judith Aronowitz told us that people start to overlook their partner’s not-so-pleasant habits.
“After a certain amount of time in a relationship, people start to feel more comfortable with each other and a trust starts to develop. The facade of perfection wanes and we start to let the guard down,” she explained.
“There is a safety that develops between people and they allow themselves to be seen warts and all. One may feel comfortable using the toilet in front of the other, maybe burping or passing gas.” I wonder if using gross pillows would count as such a wart?
Nevertheless, people overcome certain gross things about their partner because they love them. “Mutual respect develops when we are able to understand another’s feelings,” Aronowitz told us back then. “We may decide it isn’t worth bringing up. We can also communicate how we feel and work a problem out.” And that’s exactly what the couple in this story did.
“Ultimately, when we love someone, we recognize them as human and understand that everyone has some annoying or gross habits,” according to Aronowitz. “The goal at the end of the day is to accept your partner’s habits and focus on the strengths of the person and the relationship.”
“Those pillows are a biohazard,” people said, telling the woman not to ignore this red flag
