As many folks realize, often a tad too late, getting married doesn’t just mean creating a new family with your partner, it also means getting closer to their family, whether you like it or not. This can range from having a lovely, “second” family to terrible, terrible in-laws, but, as some folks discover, it can also mean an uncomfortable competition with your partner’s siblings.
A man asked the internet for advice after his newly-wed wife demanded he return a gift from his sister, as their sibling dance was, in her eyes, too intimate. We reached out to the husband via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.
There can sometimes be jealousy between a spouse and siblings
Image credits: Brenda Valdovinos / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But one man sparked an online debate when his wife thought his “sibling dance” was too intimate
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SeaContexts
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Some people are very close with their blood relatives
Setting aside the many, seemingly unnecessary details about the ludicrously expensive espresso machine, it’s important to note that the main issue here isn’t the gift, or how it should be returned, but, instead, what happened at this wedding and, just as importantly, how this couple communicated about it.
This is the sort of story that raises more questions than it answers. As many commenters noted, it really does seem like we would need to see a recording of the dance to pass judgment, since we only have the wife’s word for it. On the surface, it might appear like the wife is overreacting, as jealousy can, at times, rear its ugly head at the worst moments.
But once the man listed the songs (plural) they danced to, it becomes slightly easier to see the wife’s side. This does warrant the question, why would a man slow dance to multiple romantic songs with his sister, at his own wedding? There is nothing wrong with having a close relationship with one’s siblings (within limits) but a wedding is neither the time, nor the place.
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Dancing with one’s sibling isn’t a normal part of most weddings
It’s also important to note that the “sibling dance” is not a time honored tradition in most places. Indeed, most weddings will not have it at all, so if one is from a culture without this tenuous tradition, even a single dance to a “fun” song might already seem strange. Unfortunately, we don’t have more details, but it is entirely possible that this dance wasn’t just an isolated event but the final straw that broke the camel’s back.
The man does describe his relationship with his sister as one where they “never shied away from affection.” While this is speculation, it does sound like he has had to explain or even defend his relationship with his sibling in the past before. This could indicate that this dance was just one more event in a long list of grievances.
After all, if we take the wife’s perspective, if you are marrying a man, he better not be in love with someone else, let alone his sister. Perhaps she believed that the wedding would be the end of it, but, instead, he chooses to dance with her to a John Legend song, as well as others. Even if this particular instance wasn’t as “intimate” as she describes it, it is possible that he has a history of similar stunts.
Image credits: Craig Adderley / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The gift seems like an afterthought to all the drama
Ultimately, this is a question of trust and communication. The husband is very right to ask why she only brought this up much later if it was bothering her. On the other hand, if it really is bothering her, he should not be so flippant about it. It does appear that they are at a sort of impasse, with her insisting it was too much and him denying it. All in all, it doesn’t look like they have a functional way to resolve this.
The espresso machine seems to be caught in the crossfire. It’s by no means an “inappropriate” gift that sometimes plagues relationships, but it is quite excessive. More likely, the demand to return it is an attempt by the wife to either test her husband’s loyalty or to try and drive a wedge between him and the sister. One thing is for sure, this couple might need some therapy if the marriage is to last.
Some readers needed more context
But the internet was split, as the man didn’t give more details
