A distraught man says he's been left between "a rock and a hard place" after learning his wife had taken nearly £140,000 ($170,000) out of a savings account they'd set up to fund his stepdaughter's education.
According to the man, his stepdaughter Cassie is a 'brilliant young woman', and, not wanting her to be 'crushed by debt', he and his wife Andrea had saved up more than £165,000 ($200,000) for her to attend university.
However, last week he realised the account had been significantly depleted, and became frantic, asking Andrea whether she knew anything about it. Initially, he claims he suspected his wife of having an affair, however, she denied this and even offered proof.
But eventually, Andrea is said to have tearfully confessed she had used the money to fund her serious spending habit.
Although convinced she'd remained faithful, her husband was still 'beyond furious' that Andrea had "ruined Cassie’s chances at going to college debt-free", effectively changing "the trajectory of her whole life" as she wishes to attend an Ivy League school in the US.
He has now asked Andrea to stay with her sister while he attempts to figure the situation out.
Taking to Reddit's True Off My Chest forum, the man said: "To make a long story short, last week, I found out that almost $170,000 dollars of the money was missing from the account. I freaked the f**k out and asked Andrea if she knew anything about it. She teared up and said that she had been spending the money over the years to fund her spending habit.
"I was furious, but I had a moment of clarity. I’ve browsed these subs enough to know that an affair was possible so I asked her if she was having one. She adamantly denied it and offered any proof I needed. Social media accounts, emails, her work phone, everything. She offered to show me the receipts as well. There was nothing that popped out as suspicious, and the math from the receipts added up as well so I let it go. But we still had the major problem of the money being gone.
"She described herself as a shopping addict, and the money from Cassie’s account was just too tempting not to use. She didn’t make excuses, but offered no solutions.
"As stated before, I was beyond furious. She ruined Cassie’s chances at going to college debt-free and has changed the trajectory of her whole life. I had asked her to stay with her sister while I tried to figure this out. Cassie was concerned about why she was leaving, but we just said we needed a little bit of space."
The husband went on to explain that his wife and Cassie don't get along very well and he has a much stronger bond with his stepdaughter as a result.
He continued to say that he's since spoken to his wife but is still unsure what to do about the situation, as his trust has been broken and he's also worried it could end Cassie's relationship with her mum for good.
"I don’t know what the hell to do. The last thing I want to do is lie to Cassie, but I don’t want Andrea and Cassie to split up forever. And the worst part about this whole thing is that Cassie’s life is ruined either way. And I don’t know how to replenish the money other than maybe borrowing from my 401k. Reddit do you have any suggestions?
"Divorce is always an option, but I love Andrea despite her mistakes, and me dating at age 52 is next to impossible."
Fellow Reddit users urged the man not to take any blame for the situation and not to lie to his stepdaughter, with one person writing: "Do not lie to Cassie. That's punishing her for her mother's sins. It WILL come out eventually. Her mother needs to be honest."
Another said: "Do not take the blame, your wife admitting her mistake to her daughter is the only way your wife’s addiction is going to stop. If she can’t admit her wrongdoings to the person it hurts most, she can’t move on from her addiction."
Another commented: "Your wife needs to take full and total accountability for her actions. If her relationship ends up permanently damaged then it should be. Addiction is addiction and just like a drug addict she blew her daughter's chance at a good start in life."
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