Celia Imrie has advised women to embrace time with their mothers while they're still around, acknowledging that though our mother-daughter relationships change as we age, their importance never diminishes.
“Make the most of them while you’ve got them, because actually, nothing prepares you for your mother dying. It’s colossal.” Celia, 72, said during her recent Woman’s Hour appearance.
Celia joined host Nuala McGovern to discuss her current role, Backstroke, currently showing at the Donmar Warehouse in London. The show, which also stars Tamsin Greig, charts the tumultuous relationship of an unconventional mother and her daughter from childhood into old age and sickness.
It’s a role that clearly means a lot to Celia, who sadly lost her own mother Diana Elizabeth Blois Imrie in 1999, aged 86.
“I personally wish that I hadn’t lost my temper with my mother,” Celia revealed, poignantly. “I wish I could have those days back when she was being cantankerous or something – and she wasn’t, she was wonderful.”
It’s a sentiment no doubt we can all relate to – I still wince at memories of teenage me being grumpy with my mum. If I’m being honest, I sometimes still feel that familiar bubble of irritability as she tries to get my own children to hold her hand when climbing a step (mainly because I have the exact same over-protective impulse – I fully recognise that my annoyance is because we’re so alike). Nevertheless, I cherish my adult relationship with my mum as much as my important female friendships.
Celia is not only an award-winning actress, but also a bestselling novelist. This 2024 book is set in London during the Blitz, and follows a nurse from Liverpool who gets pulled into exploring the intoxicating world of American GI-infused jive dance spots.
Celia, who may be best known for her roles in the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Bridget Jones and Calendar Girls films, revealed that director and playwright Anna Mackmin “sold [the play] to me as a love letter to her own mother".
She added that the director of the all-female-produced play encouraged the cast to hang photos of their real mothers in their dressing rooms. No doubt this daily reminder has helped the actresses to tap into their real-life feelings, with Celia speaking warmly of her “darling mother” and her flaws.
I wonder if using this visual reminder – at your workplace or in a place where you can pause to reflect – could be a good method to try if you’re having struggles with your own mother.
Some of the play reportedly tackles ‘sandwich caring’ or ‘the middle squeeze’ as daughter Bo (played by Greig) cares for her ageing mother Beth (Imrie) as well as her own children. In this part of the play, Bo fights the frustrations of getting medical attention for her mother, while also striving for career progression and family life – a juggle many women can relate to, no doubt.
In a point that reminds me of the relationship between Lucy Punch and Joanna Lumley's mother and daughter characters in Amandaland, Bo also seeks her mother’s approval even at this later stage of her life, again proving the importance of this sometimes complicated relationship.
