It’s no secret that Married At First Sight (MAFS) has those jaw-dropping moments. However, it was Jake Luik‘s comments regarding the 2025 brides in the photo ranking task that truly shook me to my core, reminding me why it’s so terrifying dating as a woman of colour in Australia.
Roughly six months ago, I had to throw my deuces up after things went south with my partner of nine years. After taking some time to reflect, find myself, and marinate in the emotions of grief and mourning, I eventually bucked up and dared to put myself out there to potentially find a new suitor.
Ideally, a love that’s similar too me and my relationship with Korean BBQ.
Anyway, as I began to explore my options, I couldn’t help but have this lingering feeling that my race would 100 per cent play a part in the way potential lovers would see me.
Unfortunately, I was right. Just in the span of my journey — which I roughly estimate to be three to four months — I’ve already been hit with comments like, “You’re my first Asian”, “I love exotic girls” and, “I don’t usually go for Asians, but you’re… ” followed by some objectifying adjective.
As I continued to thug it out in the trenches that is Sydney’s dating pool, I had to shrug these comments off, hoping the roster would see me for me and not the beautiful features of my ancestors.
To quote philosopher and queen of the Jersey Shore Snooki: “I’M A GOOD PERSON.”
However, the fear that the dating pool only saw me for my race manifested into reality on Wednesday night clusterfuck known as MAFS 2025, Episode 8.
In the episode, Jake Luik, a 30-year-old school teacher,set the internet on fire after the vile comments he made about the 2025 brides during confession week’s photo ranking challenge.
In this challenge, brides and grooms are tasked with ranking their fellow castmates. It’s definitely a controversial task that has copped a lot of criticism from viewers, but it honestly gives an insight into the true colours of our participants and makes good reality TV.
When it was time for Jake to take on the challenge with wifey Ashleigh Ackerman, he made a number of damming criticisms, stating that one bride had “crazy eyes” and another had a face that screamed “I could stab you in your sleep”.
But when he picked up Awhina Rutene — a gorgeous Māori woman from Western Australia — Jake began his critique with, “I’m not racist or nothing.” Sure Jan.
“I like Caucasians mainly, mostly,” he shared as Ash looked at him in complete shock.
You know shit’s about to hit the fan when someone prefaces their statement with “I’m not racist”, but regardless of the warning, nothing could prepare anyone for the following comments.
“Awhina she’s not exactly like — she’s Māori I think — probably why she’s a bit higher, the physical features.”
As I listened on while writing MAFS content here (you should totally check out all our MAFS gossip) I kid you not. When I watched the moment, I literally GASPED.
However, what really struck me was Jake’s shoddy explanation as to why Awhina was ranked where she was ranked.
“Awhina, she’s not exactly like” — like what, Jake? Was she only ranked higher because her Māori features weren’t as present? Would it have been any different if she had darker skin or hair?
At the end of it all, when his MAFS wife Ash called him out on his behaviour, Jake went on to claim it was all a joke and that he’s “not a naturally vicious person”.
While the scene was quite confronting — and yeah, I’m just gonna say it, I was slightly triggered — it truly echoes how dark dating and seeking love can be. Women in general are already dealing with unrealistic beauty standards, especially with the rise of social media and all that jazz, but WOC in particular are also grappling with western standards of beauty.
In a recent episode of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, influencer and reality TV star Tina Provis revealed how race, beauty standards and love played into her mindset during Love Island.
“I just wanted to be white,” she recalled to her fellow campers.
In 2024, Provis previously opened up about how both internalised racism and racism impacted her time on Love Island, where she and another POC islander “questioned whether our race made us less desirable in the villa”.
“Everyone who steps into the Love Island villa has a degree of anticipation about how they will be perceived and fears of rejection. But I can almost guarantee that every person of colour that walks through those villa doors is wondering if their race will be the reason they leave alone,” she penned.
Provis then shared a moment where she was set up on blind date by her cousin, and when said cousin let it slip she was on Love Island she was worried she didn’t live up to the “blonde, all-Australian type girl”.
Those experiences and insecurities, whether it be reality TV or dating in general, are shared amongst the POC community and with the behaviours exhibited on MAFS, it just shows like yeah, that shit does happen.
It was extremely dishartening to see those comments made about Awhina, but again, it’s just an ugly reflection of what dating as a POC is like Down Under.
Married At First Sight returns Sunday on Channel Nine and 9Now.
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