Made In Chelsea star Louise Thompson has spoken out about her fears that she has suffered brain damage and thinks that she has a 'form of dementia' after giving birth. The 32-year-old reality star was applauded for her bravery as she updated fans on her recovery after suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) after she almost died twice going through a traumatic birth with her first baby.
Louise penned a heartbreaking Instagram post as she opened up about suffering from a 'weird form of dementia' as she explained her memory loss and health issues. And she added that her fiancé Ryan Libbey, 31, has revealed to her that he is also is suffering from PTSD.
Louise, who gave birth to their son Leo in November, says she's at a 'weird stage' now where she's 'blocking everything out.' She explained to her 1.4M followers: "This condition feels very repetitive. Finally it DOES feel like everything happened a long time ago but it also feels like it happened to someone else and not me.
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She said: "I kind of feel like I’ve erased my entire past and started life as a totally new person. A sometimes sick person. People tell me how far I’ve come, but I can’t remember how far. I can remember a weird amount of things from my childhood… sensory things will remind me of the strangest memories from way back when I was 5-15, but then I’ve sort of erased everything between then and now."
Louise admits that she's struggling to move on with 'normal' life. "Every day I feel physically very unwell and every other day I seem to have an hour long period (sometimes longer) where I feel messed up in my brain," she explained.
"I don’t know what it is, but it feels like brain damage or a mini stroke. Maybe it’s a weird processing experience. It feels like I’m either really REALLY low in some specific chemical/hormone or way too high.
"But either way I can’t think properly or talk properly during those episodes. It sort of feels like I’m having a major allergic reaction to something in my brain. I go from feeling really low and agitated to then feeling a rush of something and then I get the worst cramping around my pelvis but then my brain levels out, a bit like the chemicals have been restored."
The star says she's currently in 'an uncomfortable place' and admits 'I kind of dread my life.' But she added: "But then sometimes it’s manageable. Sometimes I even have a really good time, but then when I’m in a bad place I can’t understand how I can have a good time at all. I just have to repeat this too shall pass. Sadly I can’t just pull myself out of the funk with happy thoughts or ‘feel good’ practises."
She went on to say that on Tuesday night she was up all night with the 'worst flu like symptoms.; She explained: "Agony to touch everywhere. I couldn’t lift Leo. I feel like I have inflammation all over my body, particularly in my neck, chest and brain. I know I definitely have it in my gastro tract, but why is my entire neck and head so sore?
She asked: "And why do I have such weird nerve sensations all over the right hand side of my face. My mind has been EVERYWHERE and now I just want someone to fix me. I know that I want to go back to being normal Louise so why won’t my body and brain just let me?"
Asking 'will I ever feel healthy again?' and 'will I ever be able to think like a normal person again?' Louise added: "I feel like I have a weird form of dementia. If I think of stuff to do today I will completely forget that list tomorrow or even in an hour. In fact I might never remember it. Nothing is ongoing."
She told her followers: I started the ‘project’ of turning our top room into a child’s bedroom a few weeks ago and I only just remembered that I’d had meetings about it today. Surely that’s not normal? That can’t be baby brain?
"These are major memory losses between large periods of time. Ryan says I might need to rebuild my brain like a muscle post trauma. That sounds fun, NOT. "
Louise, who joined the E4 reality show in 2011, was flooded with support following her post. TV presenter and DJ Ashley James told her: "So sorry you're going through all of this lovely. You're so loved and it's wonderful you're communicating and acknowledging how you feel." terrymcfarlane said: "I think you are incredible. And Ryan. I wish the best for you and for that light at the end of all this. My heart goes out to you all."
jpouch.jordan said: "You are amazing and speaking for so many people right now." And liahollos wrote: "I'm so sorry you are going through all this. You are incredibly brave, especially to share it all."
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