ARLINGTON, Texas — Mike McCarthy walked into his post game press conference, looked at the members of the media, and said, “Oh s---.”
It didn’t sound like “shoot.”
The Dallas Cowboys head coach was only kidding. Or maybe he wasn’t.
It had been a day.
His team needed a last-minute drive to come back to defeat the worst team in North American professional sports.
The Texans are so bad they make the last 25 years of Dallas Cowboys’ futility look like success.
The Houston Texans are punishment to the city of Houston for stealing away the shipping and port industry from Galveston after the city suffered incalculable damage from the infamous Hurricane in 1900.
There is nothing good to say about this horrendous NFL franchise.
The Dallas Cowboys were 17-point favorites against a team that was 1-10-1 coming into Sunday’s game.
The Cowboys defeated the mighty Texans 27-23.
The Cowboys needed an 11-play, 98-yard drive in the final minutes that ended with Zeke Elliott’s two-yard touchdown run with 41 seconds remaining in the game.
This was not a celebration.
This was dodging a Texas-sized port-a-pottie launched from Jupiter aimed at AT&T Stadium.
“That’s the reality of the National Football League; we tell our players all the time, ‘Don’t take the cheese,’” McCarthy said after the game.
This favorite line refers to players buying what others, usually in the media, say. Players are human.
They tend to believe how great they are.
The Cowboys didn’t eat the processed cheese. They ate brie. Probably some Blue Star Cowboys Flavored Goat’s Milk Cheeze, only on sale at JerryWorld for $189.99 a bite.
McCarthy insists his players didn’t eat the cheese in either of their last two weeks.
Last week, the Cowboys were in a two-point game in the fourth quarter against the horrible Indianapolis Colts before blowing them out.
On Sunday, they trailed an even worse Texans team before rallying to win.
I asked McCarthy if his team simply wasn’t “in it,” given the nature of these last two opponents.
His answer is troubling. Because he wasn’t lying.
“I wish I could help you with a quote,” he said.
Same here.
“I don’t see it,” he said. “They put the time in. Houston played well. They hit their big plays. That’s the league.”
McCarthy said there was “no indicator” during the week that this type of game was coming.
In his mind, he would have seen this coming had something been lacking in preparation during team meetings, or practices, during these last two weeks.
He says he didn’t see any of that.
Quarterback Dak Prescott was not good. He owned it.
He threw a pair of interceptions, the first of which wasn’t his fault. The second pick was one of the worst of his career.
The Cowboys suffered a variety of injuries, notably to right tackle Terence Steele. He has a knee injury, the severity is not known.
This was an ugly game by a pretty good team.
The Dallas Cowboys are pretty good. Not great. Better than .500.
“We won the game; that’s all that matters,” McCarthy said. “This was a tough day. It’s all in front of us. We just have to keep playing.”
Jerry Jones said he was not disappointed how the team played. Just elated they got the win.
When has Jerry ever said he was disappointed after a win?
The Dallas Cowboys are 10-3, and they will make the playoffs for the second consecutive season for the first time since 2006 and 2007.
Hard to hate that.
Also, they’re just hard to trust.
They crush the Vikings in Minnesota, and barely beat the Texans in Arlington.
The Cowboys’ venture into the playoffs is a giant cake of Buyer Beware. If you dare bite into it, you could be rewarded with some delicious peanut butter, chocolate greatness.
If you dare bite into it, you may also be rewarded with something else that’s brown and doesn’t quite taste like chocolate.
According to their head coach, the Cowboys just had a good week of preparation and practice and barely beat the Houston Texans.
He’s not lying.
That’s the 2022 Dallas Cowboys.
