Tom Lockyer feared he was dying after a cardiac arrest on the pitch, but the Luton captain revealed he would still “love” to play again.
The 29-year-old was resuscitated in December after he collapsed in the Hatters’ match against Bournemouth, as Lockyer’s heart stopped beating for two minutes and 40 seconds. He has since had an Implantable Cardioverter-Defibrillator fitted.
Lockyer previously collapsed during Luton’s play-off final win over Coventry last year, with it confirmed after that incident that he had suffered an atrial fibrillation, before he was cleared to return to football.
Reflecting on his cardiac arrest two months ago, Lockyer revealed he went “really light-headed”, but carried on playing as he did not believe the issue was a serious one. The match was abandoned as he was treated on the pitch and then stretchered off.
"I woke up and the paramedics and everyone were everywhere,” Lockyer told Sky Sports.
“It happened in May as well, but I knew instantly this was different. Last time I woke up from almost a dream, this time I woke up from a nothingness.
"Straight away there was a little bit more panic from the paramedics, physios and club doctors. I was a little bit disorientated, couldn't speak or move, I was just trying to work out what was happening. While that was going on I remember thinking 'I could be dying here' and it's quite a surreal thought thinking that and not being able to move and respond.
Just over two months on from the incident, Lockyer revealed how difficult it has been to comprehend what has happened, struggling to know how to feel about what he has been through.
He continued: “I literally died but I have been numb to the whole thing since. I don’t know if I have processed what happened. I don’t know if it will come back and bite me on the bum, but I have not had any emotions since. I am not going to lie, it has been a tough couple of months.”
Lockyer’s father was in attendance at the Vitality Stadium, as was his girlfriend who was seven months pregnant at the time. Other family members were following the match from home.
"My mum was at home listening on the radio, she went off to make a cup of tea after Bournemouth scored, and when she came back my brother had turned the radio off," Lockyer said.
"She asked 'why', and he had to say to her that Tom has gone down off the ball again. This is the bigger picture that people don't see and that is the hardest part to deal with.”
Discussing whether he could one day make a return to the pitch, Lockyer said it was “far too early” to make a decision as he continues to undergo tests, but the defender did not rule out the possibility he could play again if given medical clearance.
"I'm incredibly lucky to be alive," Lockyer said.
"We will be dictated to by the medical staff and specialists but if there was a chance I could play again, and I'm not going to do anything against the specialists' recommendations, then I would love to.”
