Luke Evans has opened up in heartbreaking detail about his journey to coming out as gay to his parents and the “painful” consequences that followed.
Born to two devout Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Clash of the Titans star, 45, was raised in the church, where he was taught that homosexuality was wrong. Jehovah’s Witnesses is a denomination of Christianity that believes humanity is living in the last days before Armageddon.
In a new interview with The Guardian ahead of the release of his debut memoir Boy from the Valleys: An Unexpected Journey, Evans spoke about the inner turmoil he faced during childhood from having to hide his sexuality.
At 13, he was baptized in the church despite knowing he was gay. “I thought maybe by doing that, the rest would disappear,” he explained.
The Welsh actor shared that every night at church, “they read scriptures saying terrible things about the way I was feeling and who I was possibly turning into.”
“All that was in my head was: if I don’t sort this out, I’m going to lose my mum and dad. I’m going to lose everything I’ve ever known and I’m also going to die at Armageddon, so I’m giving myself a death sentence unless I sort his out,” he said.
However, Evans said the thought of losing his parents far outweighed the thought of dying.
“The only thing that mattered to me was my mam and dad,” he said. “To be happy, there was only one route I could take, and my only worry was that I’d lose Mam and Dad in the small period I had before Armageddon came. I had to make this decision: either you keep lying and live this life that is making you very unhappy or you take the risk and hope they don’t cut you off and pretend that you are dead.”
It wasn’t until early adulthood that he came out to his parents and was disfellowshipped from the church. Though he wasn’t there to witness his excommunication, he guessed the elders would have said: “‘Luke Evans is no longer a member of the Christian congregation.’ The subtext is: ‘You can no longer speak to him, have any relationship with him, he is an outcast, he is now not part of any of our lives.’”
While living his truth was a relief, he said the disfellowship “was painful, because I knew my mam and dad were sitting in that Kingdom Hall surrounded by people that knew them and knew me until I was 16. It must have been a horrible moment for them. I think they just went home, hugged each other and got through it.”
Reflecting on that period in his life, Evans said: “I should be very angry, but I don’t feel it. Because while all this stuff that was happening to me was not pleasant, and I’d never want anyone else to go through it.
“I see two people who have found a life that works for them,” he added of his parents. “They have wonderful friends, inside and outside the religion.”
Boy from the Valleys: An Unexpected Journey is set to be published on November 7.
