A loving dad has died suddenly aged 43 after a long battle with alcoholism. Kelvin Morris had "such a big heart" and "always wanted to be a better person" for his three young daughters, said their mother Talis Nickson.
Kelvin, from Trebanog in the Rhondda, doted on his children and would "help anyone around him" but towards the end of his life his alcohol addiction was so severe that he would try to get arrested or hospitalised to halt the spiral of self-destruction. Talis has spoken with WalesOnline to raise awareness of the issues that plagued her partner's life and are thought to have caused his death. The mum, who runs Forget Me Not Keepsakes in Porth, has temporarily closed the gift shop since Kelvin's death so she can be with their grieving children. A friend of the family has started a fundraiser to help them cover funeral costs.
Although an official cause is yet to be given, the authorities have told Talis they believe Kelvin's death on June 29 was related to alcohol abuse. Their daughters Keana, 14, Leilah, 11, and Willow, four, are devastated. Talis, 37, said: "Willow was asking, 'Is my daddy going to fall out of the sky because he's a star?' She has been telling our pets that daddy is now in heaven. Leilah said she wants to keep busy in school because if she's not thinking about it she's not crying. Keana understands more because she's the oldest. It has hit her the most."
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Talis, who was 18 when she and Kelvin started a relationship, recalls being struck by his "cheeky, warm smile". She added: "That's what everyone said about his dimples.
"He loved fishing and he loved going to the beach at Porthcawl. He'd never miss the chance to get in the water and act like a big kid. I always used to joke, 'You're 43, when are you going to grow up?' And he'd say, 'I'm still 15 in my head.'"
Kelvin struggled with anxiety and depression, which prevented him finding work. "He found social situations really hard, and I think that's why he started drinking, because it made that easier," said Talis. But she added that Kelvin was "very supportive" of her business as well as being a caring father who took immense pride in their daughters. "All he ever spoke to anyone about was his girls."
Strongbow cider was Kelvin's alcohol of choice, though he would also sometimes drink spirits. In the early days of his relationship with Talis he would be able to go three days without a drink, but towards the end of his life Kelvin was unable to go a single day. His reliance had increased around four years ago when he lost an uncle, a cousin and his father's partner in a short space of time. "Kelvin would take bad news really badly," said Talis. "He wouldn't process things like other people."
When Kelvin was a young man, alcohol tended to make him "fun-loving and bubbly" but when he got older he would have issues with anger when drinking, said Talis. He would wake the next morning without being able to remember comments made to her the night before. He would apologise but the behaviour became a nightly occurrence. Last October, though, Kelvin spent around a week in a rehab clinic and Talis said the impact was remarkable.
"He didn't drink for the next six months," said Talis. "It's the only time I've known him to go more than three days without a drink. It was lovely, no arguments, really peaceful. The kids saw a side to him that until then they'd only seen a day here and there."
On his six-month anniversary of going teetotal Kelvin had a drink. All along he had spoken of his plan to start drinking moderately — just once a week with a friend — after six months of sobriety. Talis warned him against the plan, and her fears proved to be founded.
"From that day he was worse than ever," she said. "He would drink in the house or visit a friend. I was on his case because I was so worried about him but he said he was old enough to make his own decisions. After a really big blowout he'd say he could see he was in the wrong and he would stop, but he wouldn't last 24 hours. When I asked why he hadn't stopped he would say, 'You're taking me too literal'."
On several occasions in Kelvin's last months he had to spend time away from the family home because of his addiction. Often he would stay with a friend. In the seven weeks before his death he did not stay with Talis and the children but she kept in frequent contact. "Even if we never worked things out we wanted to keep a good relationship for the kids. I said, 'Go back to rehab, sort it out and maybe we can talk about being together as a family again.' He said he couldn't because there was a six-month waiting list. A week later he was dead."
During Kelvin's lowest points he would go to drastic lengths to put a stop to his drinking sessions. "He would ring police and be a nuisance to get himself arrested, or he would take a handful of tablets so he could go into hospital and get help," said Talis.
In one of their final conversations Kelvin told Talis: "No matter what happens between us, I'll always be there for you and the girls." The last time they spoke was the day before Kelvin died. He appeared to be confused as Talis sent him pictures of Leilah from her school trip to London. "He replied as if he was talking to her," said Talis. "I told him, 'It's me, not Leilah, here's a picture of her on the London Eye.' And he just replied, 'I'm proud of you babes.'"
The next morning Kelvin was found dead at his friend's Penrhys flat. For Talis, his death has raised questions of whether a better-resourced health service could have saved him. "He suffered all his life and there never seemed to be anything available. Even when he went to rehab it was through a charity. He wasn't shy about going to his GP. But it seems like unless you have something like schizophrenia and you can get signed in to a hospital, the help isn't there."
Talis said her favourite memory of Kelvin was when he helped her through the birth of their youngest child at Prince Charles Hospital. "He coudn't attend the others due to his anxiety and he really made himself go to Willow's. It was really lovely. When I was in labour he was comforting me and rubbing my back. Afterwards he took the baby off me, got her dressed and brought her back to me. He'd always been scared to do stuff like that, what with the fact she'd just been born. I thought, 'Wow.' He was so loving and supportive. He said he was really glad he got to witness one of his children being born."
Jenna O'Sullivan, a friend of the family, has raised £600 in donations towards a £1,000 target to support the family. She said: "The family are struggling with the loss and the stress of trying to pay for Kelvin’s funeral. Talis is self-employed and has had to shut the shop at the moment to look after their three girls at this difficult time, and there is no money available to support them at this time... I want to try and take some stress off the family right now and raise some money for the funeral. So even if you only have a spare two pounds that would be a massive help at this awful time." You can donate to the fundraiser here.
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