Leaving her childhood home on the east coast of Yorkshire and heading off to Cambridge University was a massive culture shock for Mary Appleton, but one she embraced.
Then she made what she felt was the obvious move, and headed off to London to forge a career.
As a freshly-minted 21-year-old graduate who wanted to be a journalist the capital felt like the only place to be and she spent her twenties in a whirl of working and socialising. Returning to Yorkshire never crossed her mind.
Home was a series of rented flats in south west London and by 2016 Mary was based in Balham, in a flat she shared with her now-husband Richard Warwick.
Buying a property in SW12 was out of the question, however, and in order to get themselves onto the property ladder Mary and Richard decided to move out to Carshalton, right on the south westerly fringes of London, where they were able to buy their first home.
Their three-bedroom semi-detached house cost around £450,000. “We couldn’t have bought a flat in Balham for that,” says Mary.
Despite having to commute back into London for her job as a business journalist, Mary, 40, was happy living out in the burbs.
She and Richard, who works in communications, got married in 2017 and the following year they had their first child, James, who is now six.
“I had always said that I wanted to have my first baby in London, because there is so much to do and I was aware that maternity leave could be quite lonely,” says Mary.
Going back to work made life more complicated. Every morning Mary had to rush James to nursery, run for her train to London, and stress-out all day about whether she would be able to get home in time for his 6pm pick up.
Richard, then working in Canary Wharf, started work earlier and finished later, which meant the nursery-run fell to Mary. “It was a constant headache,” she says.
Mary and Richard are both originally from Yorkshire and they began to toy with the idea of moving home to be closer to their families.
Weeks before the start of the pandemic in January 2020 they sold the Carshalton house for just under £500,000 and chose a new house in Pocklington, a village around eight miles from York.
The five bedroom detached house – with plenty of space for Mary, Richard, James, and younger son Joseph, who is now three – cost £400,000.
“It is so big it makes us laugh – the garage is the size of our old kitchen,” says Mary.
On a professional level the move has been straightforward. Mary has negotiated to work remotely, with occasional visits to London, while Richard has got a new job with a firm in Leeds and commutes a couple of days per week.
On a personal level, Richard has settled right back into quiet Yorkshire life. Mary has found the move harder to navigate.
“I am extremely sociable, and when we moved here we were just coming out of lockdown and it was hard to build a new network,” she said.
“And, even though I am from Yorkshire, I had got used to London life where everything is so accessible.
“Here you have to book a taxi three weeks in advance, and if you want a takeaway you have to go and pick it up.
“Having said that, I love the fact that we have more space, and the scenery is beautiful. And I firmly believe that wherever you are you find your own like-minded people.
“When I go back to London I kind of pine for it, but really what I am pining for is my single, child-free life when I could please myself and that is not the life-stage I am at any more.”
