SACRÉ BLEU!
When Leo Messi hoisted the World Cup trophy towards the sky a week before Christmas, he had the air of a man who had no more effs left to give. And why would he? Like a combination of Eric Bristow and Alexander the Great in an overblown Sid Waddell simile, the man had no more worlds left to conquer … unless of course you count Saudi Arabia, who are paying him £25m per year to shill for them as a tourism ambassador, a sum not even a man richer than Scrooge McDuck doing the backstroke in a pool full of gold doubloons would turn down lightly for an occasional enforced invasion. It’s an ostensibly cushy gig; bank the loot, then travel en famille to pose for a series of photos in which you grin alongside some palm-weavers, gazelles and an underwhelmed falcon at the behest of the Saudi Tourism Authority (STA). Job done.
And if fulfilling those obligations means copping a two-week suspension and comparatively small fine from the Qatari-owned club of serially underachieving superstars you’re part of, don’t worry because the Saudi government will offer you £320m per year to come and play in their league when you become a free agent in two months’ time. “Messi and his family immersed themselves in the history of this unique destination, taking in the Arabian Horse Museum after interacting with some magnificent pure-bred Arabian horses,” read the official account of the Messi family’s mini-break from the STA, in what was perhaps a less-than-subtle hint that the Argentinian will spend next season playing in the same league as a more familiar preening show-pony.
Meanwhile back in Paris, his apparently inevitable summer exit from PSG didn’t stop a number of ultras from turning up at the club’s HQ to wave flares, chant rude refrains about his maternal lineage, the management and their Qatari owners, in protest after their team’s recent defeat at the hands of Lorient. And despite being completely blameless for that particular embarrassment considering he’s been knacked for more than two months, Neymar wasn’t spared the mob’s wrath either as a sizeable proportion of fans turned up at his villa in Bougival to demand he leave, in the strongest possible terms.
“Paris Saint-Germain most strongly condemns the intolerable and insulting actions of a small group of individuals that took place on Wednesday,” parped a statement put out by the club. “Whatever the differences of opinion, nothing justifies such actions. The club gives its full support to its players, its staff and all those targeted by such shameful behaviour.” For Neymar, reportedly more used to having large crowds inside his house causing a racket, Wednesday’s protest may have come as a surprise. “It’s prodigiously annoying,” tooted the local mayor a couple of months ago, when complaining about the din that occasionally emanates from his Brazilian neighbour’s party house. One suspects he may have turned a deaf ear to these latest protests, in the hope it may lead to another high-profile exit and longer-term tranquility this summer.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I don’t think of this. I sleep tonight and then I think about three points against Leeds. I will go home now and play some video games and then speak – I cannot say which games – it’s too embarrassing” – Erling Haaland, fresh off breaking the Premier League single-season scoring record with his 35th, in Manchester City’s 3-0 win over West Ham, reveals how he’d be celebrating his achievement. As long as it wasn’t the troubling series involving Larry Laffer that our weird uncle keeps banging on about then he’s got nothing to worry about.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: Chelsea and saying they are ‘in no danger of being relegated’ (yesterday’s Football Daily). That might be a wee bit premature. ESPN’s Chris Wright has presented a cascade of results that culminates with Todd Boehly presiding over the most expensively assembled club to ever be relegated from any league, finishing on 39 points and behind survivors Leicester City on goal difference. I am not a religious man, but consigning Frank Lampard and Boehly to this end could make me a believer in a just and powerful god” – Paul Landaw.
I’d rather Gianni Infantino wasn’t hustling our government into shelling out for his asking price of the Women’s World Cup (Monday’s Quote of the Day), what with so many public workers on strike and the cost of living crisis. Seems like that’s money that could be better spent on people who need it. But if it’s going to be wasted on another Downing Street refurbishment or Liz Truss’ bathrobe collection instead, at least I might get some enjoyment out of the football” – Brian James.
Reading Football Daily after a lengthy hiatus, I was slightly taken aback to see Noble Francis and Justin Kavanagh still in yesterday’s letters section as if the last six years never happened. Given how much they’ve contributed, I’d have thought they’d be writing the whole thing by now. My gast is well and truly flabbered” – Jason Rohan.
If you ever show some initiative and award an annual ‘Lettre d’Or’, the winner will surely come from one of the trio in yesterday’s letters” – Doug Hughes.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Brian James.
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