Honest Lewis Macleod has lifted the lid on years of physical and mental struggles after hanging up his boots at 28.
The former Rangers ace, a star of the club’s lower league journey, has called it quits with a right knee injury suffered at Plymouth. He underwent surgery in June last year but endured pain throughout rehab despite great work and support from Rangers physio Steve Walker.
Macleod admits being concerned about a premature end to his career for a long time. He said: “I had always been injury-prone, if you want to say that. Never small injuries, all out long periods. A grade three hamstring tear, heart problem, torn ACL and torn medial ligament. You almost brace yourself for the worst. Honestly, I’ve had that fear from when I left Rangers. And when I eventually got fit, I had it in mind I was never the same as before. I’ve prepared myself for this. Unfortunately, I’ve got to a point where I can’t continue.
“The surgeons say they’ve exhausted all avenues, other than another op. But they’d no idea if it would benefit me. It might even set me back.”
Macleod scored his first goal for Rangers against Montrose 10 years ago today. He netted 16 times for his boyhood club in 76 outings.
Yet he admits his hugely promising career began to unravel before reluctantly leaving for Brentford when suffering a hamstring tear that beset him for nearly two years. He sustained that in December 2014, weeks after his classy displays in the Championship won him a place in the Scotland squad.
Macleod said: “One thing that annoys me is the timing of when it all started to happen and the realisation I was never going to reach the levels I should have. I was playing really well for Rangers, got a Scotland call-up. I did my hamstring just after and that’s what killed me.
“However, I do count myself very lucky in the way I broke in at Rangers, albeit in the Third Division. Playing for the club my family and I support is something I’ll always cherish. I’ve great memories of my debut, playing at a full Ibrox, scoring some good goals. I would love to have come back and played for Rangers in the Premiership.”
Macleod was bought injured for £1million by Brentford boss Mark Warburton, a month later. His spell in west London was plagued by problems. He retore the hamstring and didn’t debut until 13 months after joining the Bees. A dozen games into his long-awaited comeback, Macleod ruptured his ACL and a further 16-month absence followed.
He never wanted to depart Ibrox at 20 and certainly wasn’t ready for the cruel twists that would’ve tested the strongest, most-experienced veterans. Macleod said: “When the manager asked how I felt I found myself almost lying, saying I was good even though, deep down, I wasn’t.
“Brentford got to the play-offs against Middlesbrough, I was on the bench. I don’t know if it was because they’d paid that money, they wanted people to see me involved. I kid you not, I couldn’t run over a jog. A midfielder went down in five minutes, I got told to warm-up. I thought, ‘Please God, don’t put me on’. I knew I wouldn’t have lasted. It was a horrible feeling, the most stressed I’ve ever been. I was pretending to myself, to physios, which was wrong in hindsight.
“But I felt I owed them because of the transfer fee and I’d do too much too soon, try to make myself available.
“But I honestly can’t tell you the last time I went into a game feeling good – either with hamstring or knee.
“I just never actually let anyone know that, which was draining. I think I got to the point where I started to believe lies I told myself. I did it for so long it became second nature.”
After a campaign in Wigan, he played 17 times for Plymouth in a 2020/21 season afflicted by medial knee-ligament damage.
He resolved at the season’s end to have surgery and return home to rehab. Crucially, his manager Ryan Lowe set up sessions with a psychologist just before he departed.
Macleod said: “It was the first time I’d let go of everything I’d held in for years. A massive weight off my shoulders. Six years dealing with it all myself, not speaking about how I felt.
“She got me to take her through my career from 16 and she highlighted anything she classed as ‘trauma’. There were 19 traumas in 10 years.
“I hadn’t realised the effect they might’ve had on me. At that point she said, ‘I’m not surprised you’re taking some time away from football’. But I still have a love for the game. I’d like to be involved in some capacity. The last 18 months have been dedicated to rehab. Now is a transitional period, seeing what I want to do and taking the steps to go and do that.”
