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Jasmine Norden

Leeds LGBT+ parent says fostering has brought family 'perfect match' that 'completes and inspires' son

A Leeds foster carer has spoken out about the 'rewarding' experience of taking in a foster child, as the council encourages more LGBT+ people to foster.

Jono Gadsby, from Pudsey, says fostering has brought a "best friend and a sibling" into their life and their son's life.

Jono, who is non-binary, has wanted to foster since adolescence, and says the experience has changed their parenting style for the better as the family learn and grow together.

Read more: Leeds boy, 10, just wants to go to school but nowhere will accept him

Jono, 41, told LeedsLive: "I have always wanted to have more children but I also don't feel I need to continue adding to the world's population when there's so many local children in challenging circumstances.

"I was definitely slightly naïve but it was an easy decision to make and one that I have never regretted. They work really hard to make sure the foster child is well-matched with the family and for us that is definitely the case.

"My son and my foster daughter both complete and inspire each other. Of course, sometimes they wind each other up but we work with them on that and ultimately they get on very well."

Jono, who works in theatre production, is a single parent to their foster daughter, nearly eight, and their biological son, six. Their foster daughter was Jono's first foster child, and has been with the family for nearly three years.

Once Jono decided they wanted to foster, they got in touch with Foster4Leeds, the Leeds City Council fostering service, which then began the long process of assessing their household to match them up with the right child.

"Obviously I had to think carefully beforehand about how fostering would affect my son and I was initially nervous," Jono said. "But there was no need to worry. We got our perfect match. My son now has a best friend and a sibling and it has been brilliant watching them grow up together.

Jono said the two kids 'complete each other' (Jono Gadsby)

"I actually really like working with the fostering team - I'm the type of parent who always sits down after something goes wrong to think what I could've done differently and this gives me a space to discuss that. It's definitely changed how I parent for the better.

"I believe no children act out simply for the sake of it - all 'bad' behaviour is them communicating something, and I observe that behaviour and try and work with them to find out what caused it. I've also learned about not being too instructive - so if I'm telling the kids not to do something, I always tell them the reason why."

Jono has regular visits from Foster4Leeds and is in regular communication about how everything is going. They added that being part of the LGBT+ community had not made a difference to fostering.

They said: "I'm from Pudsey, which in LGBT+ history was a place where gay people used to be arrested, outed, and fined around £250.

"But things have changed massively, and because of the generation I grew up in, sometimes I have to remind myself of that. For the next generation I think it will be better.

"Foster4Leeds is very supportive and inclusive - I think they're one of the first local authorities to welcome applications to foster from polyamorous relationships."

Jono's son and foster daughter are 'best friends and siblings' (Jono Gadsby)

Children's charity Barnardo's warned in summer 2021 that England was facing a shortage of 25,000 places over the subsequent five years that left kids in the system in a "state of emergency". The charity was concerned increased pressures could lead children to be place with households that didn't work for them.

Jono urged anyone considering fostering to get in touch with Foster4Leeds - which is encouraging LGBT+ people to consider both fostering and adoption as a route to growing their families.

"What I would say is challenge your assumptions and read the facts," they said. "Fostering is one of those things where the horror stories are the only ones that seem to get told instead of all the wonderful ones. Of course, there have been intense days and it can be difficult but my experience has been so positive."

Councillor Fiona Venner, Leeds City Council’s executive member for adult and children’s social care and health partnerships, said: “We welcome members of the LGBT+ community as potential foster carers and we’re here to support them through every step of the process. We have many incredible LGBT+ foster carers at Foster4Leeds who have already had a huge impact on the lives of children.

“By choosing to foster with Foster4Leeds, you will be helping ensure that local children can attend their same school, see their friends, and have some normality through such a turbulent time.”

Fostering can be long-term like in Jono's case or much more short-term, temporary placements depending on what suits the foster parent. To find out more, visit Foster4Leeds here.

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