One of Scotland's leading child bereavement charities is celebrating 20 years of providing support to young people experiencing grief.
Richmond's Hope was first established at Richmond Craigmillar Church in Edinburgh back in 2003. The charity was co-founded by local minister Liz Henderson and bereaved parent Jessie Douglas after they noticed a need for such a service in the community.
Over the last two decades, it has provided over 5000 children and young people aged between 4-18 with a safe place to work through their grief in verbal and non-verbal ways. Bereavement support workers use therapeutic play and specialised grief activities to empower children to explore their memories, express and understand their feelings and develop coping strategies to build resilience.
The charity also provides health, social care and education professionals with training in child bereavement.
With one in 29 children affected by the bereavement of a parent or sibling by the age of 16, the free service offered by Richmond’s Hope is much-needed, especially with the additional challenges now posed by the Covid pandemic.
The charity currently has full-time bases in Edinburgh and Glasgow and satellite bases in East Lothian & Midlothian, with plans to open more satellite locations across Scotland.
Reverend Liz Henderson OBE said: “Richmond’s Hope’s 20th anniversary is an opportunity to reflect on the impact of the work with the families who have come to Richmond’s Hope and to thank those who have been instrumental in its success and to raise the profile of the organisation moving forward.
"It also offers an opportunity for reflection and helps motivate staff, volunteers and other supporters. We’d love to hear from anyone who has used Richmond’s Hope in the past and are asking people to join in our 20th anniversary events.”
Below are the stories of Maddie and Isla, who were supported by Richmond's Hope as children affected by grief.
Maddie's Story
When Maddie was just 14 years old, her dad died of alcohol-related issues. She struggled to cope with his death and aged 15, was referred to Richmond's Hope.
During her 12 sessions with the charity, Maddie was given the opportunity to work through her confusion and anger. She talked through lots of memories of her dad and about his death and his illness with support workers.
She also created a memory box as a keepsake, with a photo of her as a wee girl with her dad inside. This helped Maddie remember the good times she had with her dad and to make sure the memories “would never be forgotten”.
Maddie returned to Richmond's Hope when she was 18 and finally felt ready to “face the weight” of her loss and grief. She was supported by team leader Amy to work through her grief journey and uncover the reasons behind some of her feelings and fears.
For her last session at Richmond’s Hope, Maddie chose to go to a cafe near the Campsie’s for brunch. Here, she spoke to her bereavement support worker about her childhood experiences learning to ride her bikes and going for hot chocolate with her dad at the cafe.
Maddie said: “You look at other people and they have their dads and you think he’s not going to be there when I have my wedding or other events in my life. Sometimes bereaved kids get overlooked because people around them think you’re too young, they don’t understand what’s going on, but young kids do.
"I think it’s really important for young people to know that whatever they were going through, they were never alone. There is always someone going through the same situation as you."
Maddie’s mum Gillian said: “Maddie seems much happier after her sessions and seems more energised. Maddie is more open about her dad, talking about the good and the bad.
"It has been great for her to have someone like Amy to talk about her feelings to. To have someone who just listens has been so good for her."
Maddie is now 19 and lives in Glasgow. She and her family are co-founders of the Routes project, which is a part of Scottish Families Affected by Drugs and Alcohol, helping young people cope with the affects of alcohol and drugs in their family.
She has also started a social care course and hopes to pursue this as her future career.
Isla's story
Isla was first referred to Richmond’s Hope in 2006 when she was just 7 years old. Her twin brother was stillborn, and she struggled to understand what had happened and come to terms with the tragedy.
She wondered why her brother wasn’t there and her mum and dad didn’t have the answers that she was looking for. She also found it difficult at school when her friends and other pupils would often talk about their own siblings.
Isla said: “When I was growing up, I found coping with grief hard at times. My mum and dad made a big conscious effort to be there for me but they were both affected by their own loss and grieving and there was an extra layer of pressure.
Isla’s mum spoke to her GP who referred Isla to Richmond’s Hope. She was nervous at first about coming to the charity, but once she met with staff she was really excited.
She started visiting once a week and had around 12 sessions. Isla said: “I clearly remember meeting my Bereavement Support Worker, Sam, for the first time and thought she was amazing and very kind –almost like the older sister I never had. I trusted Sam and wanted to share things with her.”
Isla made a memory jar, however the activity was difficult at first because she didn’t have any memories of her twin brother. But Sam encouraged Isla to include things that she would have liked to do with her brother if he were still here.
She also made a hand puppet to show what she thought her brother would look like. Isla has kept everything she made at Richmond’s Hope and still has these in her mum’s attic.
Isla said: “Richmond’s Hope gave me the time and space that I knew was mine and I could speak Sam about things that may have upset my mum and dad because they were grieving themselves.”
During secondary school Isla felt equipped to support her friends and other pupils who were experiencing grief due to a bereavement. Because of her sessions at Richmond’s Hope, she felt that she could understand and relate to what they were going through. She never shied away from answering questions about her twin brother or sharing her experience with others.
When Isla was 15, she approached Richmond’s Hope to ask if she could volunteer at the Family Day as she wanted to give back some of her time and help other children and young people who were experiencing grief due to a bereavement.
When she started university, she helped Aislinn, a Bereavement Support Worker, to run Richmond’s Hope’s teen group. Isla graduated from Edinburgh University with a degree in Criminology.
She said: “I always knew I wanted to do a job that helped people and wanted to make an impact. My experience at Richmond’s Hope is something that I knew I would take through my live forever. Without Richmond’s Hope’s support I wouldn’t have known what I wanted. I wanted to be that person that helped shape someone’s life. I can honestly say that Richmond’s Hope has changed my life.”
Isla is now 25 and recently joined Richmond’s Hope’s Board of Directors as a Trustee to give back to the charity that helped her as a child. She also works full time as a Support and Advocacy Worker for Scottish Borders Rape Crisis Centre.
Isla, who lives in Midlothian, said: “I have been a Trustee of Richmond’s Hope since May 2022 and use my experience on the Board to influence Richmond’s Hope in its work and aspirations for the future.”
For more information on Richmond's Hope visit www.richmondshope.org.uk. If you'd like to be involved in events, volunteering opportunities or are looking for inspiration on ways to raise funds for Richmond's Hope please contact Richmond's Hope by email at info @ richmondshope.org.uk or phone: 0131 661 6818.
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