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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Cathy Owen & Graeme Murray

Last photo of man, 26, taken just before death that his family want everyone to see

The final images of a man before his life ended are what his family want everyone to see.

Pictures of Steffan Rees are not what people expect to see after he took his own life.

They show pure joy and happiness as he teaches his baby niece "If You Are Happy And You Know It".

Stefan's sister Sian, from Cardigan, Wales, says her brother was the "life and soul of the party" and the kind of person who "lit up the room" when he arrived.

Wales Online reports it is why his suicide was such a shock and drives his devastated sister to help others.

She said: "I couldn't have asked for a better brother.

"He was only 26, had a loving family, a beautiful girlfriend, and didn't say anything about having any mental health issues."

Since his death Sian has tried to find positives. Together with widows Lisa and Ana, who have also been bereaved through suicide, they have set up a support group and taken part in a UK awareness campaign.

New research from suicide prevention charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) has found that 61% of people would struggle to tell if someone they knew felt suicidal.

The charity wants to raise awareness that the ‘face of suicide’ isn’t always crying and being recluse.

A person might seem happy on the outside, and to illustrate this, the charity has unveiled an exhibition on London’s Southbank called 'The Last Photo'.

The outdoor gallery displays 50 smiling photos taken in the last days of people who died by suicide. It also shares the stories of shock and grief their families and friends experienced.

A photograph of Steffan forms part of the moving exhibition, as do the pictures of Peter Hammett, from Swansea, and Lee, from Tenby.

Along with Sian, Peter's wife Lisa and Lee's wife Ana have set up a support group - LISS - Living in Suicide Shadow because they felt there was a lack of support for those bereaved by suicide.

Ana said: "We are a peer-to-peer support group that aims to break the 'isolation' that we often find ourselves in by organising face to face and virtual meet ups, walks, family activities with people that understand the pain of suicide."

The latest figures show that 125 people die by suicide every week in the UK, but it can be hard to spot the signs something isn’t okay

Just months after Ana's husband died of suicide another CALM's project called 84, which represented the number of people who died every week in the UK in 2018, was launched.

Ana, whose children were nine and six when her husband died, said: "The 84 project floored me.

"It had such a powerful message; I couldn't believe 84 men took their lives every week… so many families, friends, and communities heartbroken.

"Suddenly, my husband's individual act was not so individual anymore.

"If the suicide average was constant, how can we blame such rates of suicide on one individual's reckless decision?

"It felt much more like a social issue, and if it was the case, then we could do something about it."

Talking about this campaign she said: "I will never forget those beautiful smiles of those beautiful people… beautiful children, beautiful women, handsome men, different ages, different genders, different social classes, different ethnicities, proof that suicide can happen to anyone.

"The shadows of the leaves moving with the wind and the sun created movement in the photos. I kept looking and hoping that they would start moving.

"And even though it was so comforting to see a life-size picture, I found it so hard to leave the exhibition; I wanted to bring him home with me, we miss Lee so much!"

The picture of Lee, who was 41 when he died, was taken in Castell Henllys, Pembrokeshire, on a "wonderful" day out with friends.

"There were Roman attacks, and Celtic victories, plenty of laughter and at one point Lee had all the kids shoeless crossing the stream in the cold April.

"Never in a million years would any of us believe that he would be gone less than a couple of months later.

"Our children were only six and nine when he died. He loved them to bits and was always with them. They would say 'but daddy was always happy with he was with me'."

It was not long after Lee's death that Ana met Lisa, through Dr Dai Lloyd, an MS who has been heavily involved in suicide prevention campaigns.

Ana added: "Things have moved on a lot in recent years, but there is a lot of stigma around suicide.

"People would say things like he is your husband, you live with him, how did you not see it, some people blame you for it, others don't know what to say.

"It is said that we lose around 70% of our circle of family and friends as it is difficult for people to understand and support our grief.

Being able to talk with other people who have been through the same experience has helped.

The group has helped the three form a close bond.

"We have been on a journey together the last couple of years and it seemed fitting that we should all be taking part in The Last Photo campaign and supporting each other," she said.

"The exhibition was held on the Southbank somewhere I'd previously visited with my family including Peter with such happy memories.

"My immediate reaction when I saw the life size photo of Peter was to cry.

"I placed my hand upon his face in disbelief remembering this photo I had taken on our 33rd wedding anniversary just three months before he died.

She added: "When Peter died I was determined to make a stand against the stigma associated with suicide and for his death not to be in vein I'm so proud we all took part in CALMs The Last Photo campaign.

"We hope all our stories make a difference and ultimately save lives."

The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.

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