GENEROUS. Loving. Supportive. Exceptional.
These are the words Laila Hickerton used to describe the Lake Macquarie woman she entrusted to care for her autistic son for more than 30 years; a woman whose life was cut short by COVID-19 this week.
Her name was Gaye Essex. She was 77 years old.
She was a mother of four. A grandmother of 10. A wife. A carer. A friend.
When her children were young, and money was scarce, she made them cowboy and cowgirl costumes as gifts for Christmas.
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Back then, every second Friday was baking day: "The best" caramel tarts, and lemon meringue pie.
She loved gardening, looking after children with disabilities, and the Newcastle Knights. She was also a "tough cookie".
She could be stubborn, at times, and determined.
And now her family wants others to understand that there are more people like Gaye behind the daily COVID statistics and the country's rising death toll.
"She was so special. She was always there for everybody. Always," her daughter, Lynne Essex, said.
"She always made things happen. She lived for her family."
Gaye was so generous. So loving. So supportive. Just an outstanding, beautiful person. Exceptional.
Laila Hickerton
A week ago on Wednesday, Gaye was taken by ambulance from her Edgeworth home to John Hunter Hospital, where she was promptly diagnosed with COVID-19.
She would never make it home.
Ms Essex said her mother had some significant underlying health conditions - including chronic heart, lung and kidney problems.
Alongside John, she had also run a support group for people with COPD - a chronic inflammatory lung disease - for 20 years at John Hunter Hospital after she was diagnosed with the condition.
Gaye had been double-vaccinated, and had received a booster the moment she was eligible.
She had done everything she could to avoid the virus, which the family suspects she was exposed to at one of the many medical appointments she attended each week.
"Mum was admitted, virtually immediately, to ICU with COVID," Ms Essex said.
"It wasn't good from the start."
Shortly after, Gaye's husband of 46 years, John, was also admitted to the hospital's respiratory ward with COVID-19.
Then Ms Essex received a positive test result herself. She was isolating at home when her mother began to deteriorate.
"Where she was, in the ICU COVID ward, the staff were just incredible. Amazing," Ms Essex said.
"They didn't care when I rang, or how many times. They were wonderful and they tried to be as comforting as possible."
Gaye lost her battle on Tuesday night.
"I'm sure she knew, because between 2 and 3am on Tuesday morning, she got the nurses in ICU to call dad so she could talk to him and hear his voice," Ms Essex said.
"They were inseparable, those two. Bonnie and Clyde."
Gaye is one of 35 people in the Lower Hunter to have died from COVID-19 since December. Four of those deaths were reported on Friday, three people from Lake Macquarie and another from Maitland.
With 93 deaths across the country confirmed on Friday, it was Australia's deadliest day of the pandemic since the first case was detected in the country two years ago.
The previous one-day high for COVID-19 deaths was set just last week when 88 deaths were recorded.
In total, COVID-19 has claimed the lives of 3495 Australians in the past two years.
Gaye Lorraine Essex - nee Nelmes - would have been 78 next month, on February 13.
She was born in 1944 at Speers Point - and spent her first night sleeping in an open drawer.
"Nanna wasn't very well after she was born, and the only place they had to put her was in a drawer," Ms Essex said.
"They made up a little bed in a drawer, like a little crib, for her."
Gaye grew up in Argenton. The baby of the family.
Ms Essex said the family was grateful to be given the opportunity to say goodbye to the matriarch of their loving family.
"She was struggling for breath," she said.
"The last thing she said to me was that she loved me.
"I'll really miss my phone calls to her every afternoon, on my way home from work.
"We'd talk about anything and everything."
Ms Essex said they had not long returned from a two-week holiday to Moree, Lightning Ridge and Brisbane together.
"I knew it was special. I didn't realise at the time just how precious it was going to be," she said.
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Gaye had been a friendly, familiar face to hundreds of children with disabilities that she used to drive to and from school in a 15-seater bus every day for 20 years.
She offered respite care to families with disabilities for years through Newcastle Temporary Care.
But she continued to look after children - even as they became adults - like they were family.
"They always had kids here. All the time," Ms Essex said.
"They'd take them on family holidays with us too.
"Even when she stopped working for Newcastle Temporary Care, they still wanted to come and stay, and mum loved it. She loved having them."
One of these children was Sam Hickerton, now 35, who is on the autism spectrum.
Gaye had cared for him for a weekend a month since he was five years old, right up until the last time they saw each other four weeks ago.
His mother, Laila Hickerton, said Gaye had become a close friend. She had been like another grandmother to Sam.
They had taken the news of her death very hard.
"My son isn't as severely disabled as some of the kids John and Gaye took on," she said.
"It takes a certain person. They are exceptional people. Not everyone could do what they did. But they welcomed Sam like he was a member of their family and he loved it there.
"Knowing Sam was in safe hands when I needed some respite... It was a lifesaver for me.
"Gaye was so generous. So loving. So supportive. Just an outstanding, beautiful person. Exceptional."
Gaye is survived by her husband, John, daughter, Lynne, and sons Darren, Scott and David - as well as her 10 grandchildren.
- To share a story of a loved one lost to COVID-19, email news@newcastleherald.com.au.
