The issue of age-gap relationships often divides people. Some believe that love is love and a big difference in age doesn’t really matter, while others disagree and feel the idea is worrisome. Though the discussion is important, what happens when someone takes issue over the most minuscule age gap?
A man found himself in this confusing situation when his righteous coworker got offended on his behalf. She insisted he’d been groomed, though there was less than a year’s age difference between him and his partner.
More info: Reddit
Coworker keeps telling man he was groomed because he was 19 when he got married to a 20-year-old, she escalates the matter to Human Resources
Image credits: garetsvisual (not the actual photo)
Woman notices 24-year-old coworker is married, after finding out he wedded a 20-year-old when he was 19, she insists he was “groomed”
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
The confused man told the lady that both he and his spouse were adults when they got married and that there was only a 5-month age gap between them
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
After the woman kept pushing her stance, the guy told her that even if it was grooming, which it wasn’t, he’d do the same thing all over again as it worked out great
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The lady reported him to HR for his comment and he, in turn, informed them about the inappropriate things she said and filed a complaint against her
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster said that both they and their spouse came from a small town where young marriages were common, though they now live in a big city, nobody has said anything about grooming
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual photo)
The HR representative also told them that they were going to get camera footage and look over the interaction to see if anything else needed to be addressed
Image credits: AmoGra
The couple were baffled by the grooming accusation and reached out to Reddit for input on the situation
The poster explained that their husband had started working the night shift at his new job. One day, his coworker asked him if he was married after noticing his wedding ring. He told her that he was and had gotten married at 19 to his spouse who had been 20 at the time. When she heard that, she immediately told him he’d been groomed.
The guy explained that it wasn’t grooming because both partners had been adults and that there was only a 5-month age gap between them. The man was right because he and his spouse’s relationship was consensual and had happened when they both legally became adults, so it didn’t fit into the traditional definition of grooming.
Grooming occurs when an adult tries to build a relationship with a child or young person with the intention to abuse or manipulate them. Adults can also be victims of grooming, but it’s often younger children and teens who are most affected. It’s possible the woman misunderstood what grooming is because she kept saying that it was “disgusting that a 20 year old would marry a teenager,” and ignored the 5-month age gap between the couple.
For adults, grooming can take the form of a predatory marriage involving different forms of exploitation. Given the seriousness of the topic, it’s great if someone does their due diligence to protect another person. The problem began when the ‘helpful’ coworker kept insisting that the man had been groomed and did not listen to anything he had to say.
Image credits: teksomolika (not the actual photo)
The guy got to a point where he couldn’t take his coworker’s behavior anymore. He told her that even though he hadn’t been groomed, he’d go through the experience all over again because of how well it worked out. The woman could not accept his response and reported him to HR for his behavior. Luckily, the HR representative understood the situation and the pesky coworker got in trouble for her inappropriate behavior.
This couple in this particular situation had a very small gap in age and they also waited till they were adults to get married. But the woman’s concern would be understandable if a young teenager and an adult were involved or two people with significant age gaps. That’s because, just like grooming, some age-gap relationships could also be predatory.
Netizens flooded the comments section with a whole possible list of reasons why the woman might have created such an issue out of thin air. Some felt that she might have had a crush on the man and was trying to wedge a gap between him and his partner. Others thought that she may be spending too much time online and have developed a warped idea of certain social issues.
When it comes to situations like this, The Guardian put it most succinctly, stating, “for the most part, the anti-age gap sentiment comes from a sincere desire to safeguard vulnerable people. But, however well-intentioned, it often tips over into an ugly puritanism.” Who knows, maybe the woman did have her coworker’s best intentions at heart. But, as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You can be sure of one thing, though, the poster’s husband is probably going to avoid day-shift workers like the plague from now on.
Why do you think his coworker went on such a tangent about him being groomed?
Most commenters felt that the woman was “butt hurt” to hear that her coworker was married, which is why she tried making a mountain out of a molehill
