Just be honest – have you ever been in a situation where you did something as a favor to your relatives or friends, and then, when you decided to stop doing these favors, you received harsh backlash?
The heroine of our tale today, the user u/Few-Commercial-9706, decided to step in 2 years ago when her two nephews were left without a mom, simply because she felt the need to pay tribute to the memory of her late sister, and ended up with her BIL literally considering her a free maid. However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post lost her sister 2 years ago, and her brother-in-law was left single with 2 kids
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The guy couldn’t cope with all the chores and bringing up the kids – so the author decided to step in here
Image credits: Few-Commercial-9706
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So it lasted for 2 years – the author lived there, did everything around the house and took care of the kids
Image credits: Few-Commercial-9706
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One day the woman asked her 14-year-old nephew to cook a simple dish for lunch instead of her, and he promised – but failed
Image credits: Few-Commercial-9706
Just a few hours later the BIL called – and literally kicked her out for ‘not helping enough’
It all started when two years ago the sister of the Original Poster (OP) passed away, and her husband was left single with two children, aged 12 and 7. Dad tried desperately to juggle everything, but he was not doing the best – and he even thought about hiring a maid to help care for the kids.
And here our heroine decided to step in. She considered it unfair that another woman would look after her beloved nephews, and in memory of her late sister, she volunteered to help BIL in raising his kids. He, of course, agreed – after all, it was implied that she would do everything for free, just sharing the roof with them.
So two years passed. The original poster did her best in doing chores and caring for the nephews. She washed dishes, cleaned the house, washed clothes, cooked… and even fed and took care of 50 chickens on the property. And all this while managing her own studies. The kids were very grateful to their auntie – but everything changed literally in an instant.
One day, before going for a walk, the author asked her eldest nephew, now a 14-year-old teenager, to cook a dish for lunch. He swore that he would do everything (the dish was really very simple) – but, as often happens with teens, he didn’t keep his promise.
And only a couple of hours later, our heroine got a call from her BIL, who told her to look for a new place to live – simply because, in his words, ‘she wasn’t helping enough.’ In fact, as the woman claims, two years of free help around the house were reduced to nothing by just one fault – which, moreover, was not hers.
The OP was so offended that she packed all her belongings and left that same day – only for the BIL to immediately get angry that she left without a word. And now the woman is completely upset, not understanding how she deserved such an attitude after two years of sincere and free help.
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“You know what the main problem is when you do free services for someone for a long time? That over time, people start to take this for granted, as some kind of duty,” says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach from Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
“And then, when you refuse to continue doing it, the person has already developed a habit, and cognitive dissonance arises – how is it that you refuse to fulfill ‘your inherent duty’? But you continue to perceive it as some kind of favor, right?”
“So in this situation, of course, the father of the kids was certainly wrong – but it seems to me that his second call was not connected with any kind of remorse, but that he was not ready to lose free help. Accordingly, it should be perceived from this position,” Maria sums up.
People in the comments to the original post supported the author massively, and subjected her entitled BIL to absolutely devastating criticism. “14 year old is old enough to make a lunch BIL was expecting you to help transition to a maid, called his SIL and spoke to her as if he was terminating an employee,” one of the responders wrote. “You just returned the same energy.”
And in no case do the commenters recommend that our heroine make any concessions in this situation. “You had no power to argue. Go ahead and build your life. Hopefully the boys will look for you when they’re over 18,” another person added. And now, dear readers, we’d also like to know your opinion about this case, so please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
People in the comments unanimously sided with the woman, slamming her brother-in-law for being so ungrateful and entitled
