La Niña 3: This Time It’s Really, Really Personal

According to the prophet Moses, baddies never die, they simply leave the function and plot their villainous return at a later date. La Niña? She’s a baddie. The wettest wench on this side of the Red Rooster line. And you better run for cover, ‘cos she’s coming back. The Binches of Meteorology (BOM) has hard launched their relationship with La Niña, heralding her third visit to Australia this year. She’s like a toxic ex that BOM can’t let go of. We should change its name to La Tristan Thompson. A third La Niña event in a single year is pretty rare stuff, and it means we’re going to be damper than a Scotch Finger dunked twice in tea. Bucket loads of fun for the whole family (of mould).

A #LaNiña event is underway in the Pacific Ocean. The Bureau's 3-month climate outlook shows a high chance of above-average rainfall for the eastern half of Australia. La Niña is not the only driver influencing this wet outlook. Learn more – https://t.co/Sxi7noGXVN pic.twitter.com/JJ7aYtxEEm

— Bureau of Meteorology, Australia (@BOM_au) September 13, 2022

El Niño–Southern Oscillation THREE Carlene York

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A bit of science for you to jot your memory, since the words “La Niña” have become synonymous with “shit-tonnes of rain” these days. A La Niña event is one of the three phases of the (ENSO). It’s a time of cold, wet and misery. Its opposite is the hot and steamy El Niño which brings about drought, heat and misery. The third phase is the most fun of all: neutral, a time of peace that 2022 would know little about. Usually, La Niña events happen in years after El Niño events. However, there wasn’t one last year and we’ve had La Niñas. If only there was a phrase to describe how the climate is changing irreversibly. Climate shift? I’ll work on it. “Today’s declaration means eastern Australia is heading into a third consecutive La Niña season, which presents unique risks and challenges,” NSW State Emergency Service (NSW SES) Commissioner said in a press release. “There is already wet soil, high rivers and full dams right across our State, and with more rain on the horizon comes the very real possibility of flooding. “If you live in a flood-prone area, I urge you to take steps to prepare now. Make sure you know your risk and have an up-to-date emergency plan and emergency kit. Preparing early will save you vital time during an emergency.” You heard the commissioner! Prepare your holes because every single one of them is about to be drenched. Unfortunately for us, this drenching is going to last until the end of the year at the very least. Great time to be someone who loves the rain. Or kayaking down Oxford Street.