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Evening Standard
Evening Standard
Lifestyle
Elizabeth Aubrey

KSI interview: as his doc lands on Prime Video and new single is released the star reveals his private pain

KSI

(Picture: )

It’s been one hell of a month for the online phenomenon that is KSI, even by his usual standards.

Last weekend, he beat fellow influencer FaZe Temperrr in a thrilling boxing match in London, and just before Christmas, sales of Prime, the energy drink he helped to create, went through the roof. Demand was so great that they sold out everywhere – even Wayne Rooney called asking KSI to sort him out with some bottles for his kids.

And if that wasn’t enough, he’s got a new Louis Theroux-produced documentary out today, as well as a new single. Does KSI ever find time to sleep?

“No there’s no rest for me ever!” the affable star, real name Olajide Olatunji, says laughing in his plush studio in London. “I’ve just spent every day working of late… but you know, it’s getting the outcomes I desire: it’s worth all the hard work.”

KSI – known as JJ to his friends – is just back from the gym when we talk, dressed in all-black with his hair wrapped under his trademark bandana. He’s gregarious and witty, with a beaming smile.

For anyone who hasn’t somehow come across the ubiquitous star, as well as being one of the original YouTube influencer sensations (alone and as part of the group The Sidemen, he has well over 40 million subscribers to his video channels), KSI is also a rapper (he’s signed to Atlantic, one of the biggest labels in the world, had the biggest debut selling album in 2020, eight top ten singles and a number one album), a successful ’reality’ boxer and an entrepreneur with a multi-million-pound empire (his Prime project is expected to earn £113 million this year alone) – and he’s still only 29 years-old.

KSI

His new documentary, KSI: In Real Life, packs a lot into its 90 minutes. It goes back to his earliest days when, aged just 15, Olatunji set up a YouTube account in his bedroom under the guise of an alter ego, KSI (which stands for knowledge, strength, integrity). The persona helped him counteract the shyness he felt growing up as JJ, who was, he says, an awkward, painfully shy teenager who did not enjoy school.

Looking back at footage of his earliest YouTube efforts was not an unqualified joy. “It was – excruciating,” he grimaces, covering his eyes. “At the time, I didn’t know too much. I was living in this bubble, this internet thing that I wanted to be a part of, just releasing all types of videos. Whereas now, I understand that whatever I put on the internet stays on the internet, forever!” he laughs. “I was squirming watching back.”

The documentary is extremely personal, delving into life behind his successful videos. They were an instant hit as soon as he started posting as a teen; by the time he was 19, he’d earned enough from them to pay off his parents’ mortgage and buy his first home.

But despite this, all wasn’t well. The film reveals a strained relationship with his parents: while they would appear in some of his videos seemingly happy, smiling and laughing, behind the scenes there were issues – especially with his father. In one of the most emotive scenes of the film, KSI asks his dad why he hit him as a child.

“There were times, especially in the last [few] years, I still had that hatred in me towards my parents,” KSI says. He felt he always disappointed them – they hoped for him to be a doctor or a lawyer, definitely not a YouTube star.

As a rapper, KSI had the biggest debut selling album in 2020, and has had eight top ten singles and a number one album (Paul Raeside)

“I think the fear of failure I have always had is from my parents. I always felt like I had to succeed because that’s what they expected of me… but these were sometimes hard shoes to fill.”

He is still plagued daily by thoughts that he’s going to fail. From the outside, it looks exhausting. “I don’t want to be seen as that person who wasn’t able to do it,” he says. “The fear of failure [is strong] and I don’t want to go through that – I use it to drive me.

“If I don’t do the best I can, then I feel I’ve failed in myself. I always feel like I have to go further, beyond the capabilities that I feel like I have and just keep pushing.”

A friend suggested therapy, which KSI says was life-changing, and is slowly helping him to rebuild his relationship with his family. At the end of the film, KSI can even be seen awkwardly hugging his father, something he says didn’t happen when he was growing up. “It felt so weird,” he laughs. “My dad is very standoffish, so to get a hug like that, it was really a moment.”

While he continually expresses his gratitude for how much his parents provided for him as a youngster (like sending him to private school, Berkhamsted School in Hertfordshire), he says he was just desperate for support, affection and encouragement. All he wanted, he says at one point, is for someone to “hug” him and say they “love” him.

He says knowing more about his father’s own strict upbringing helped to make sense of some of his behaviour towards him as a youngster. “My [parents] were always just working or they were dropping me off in school and picking me up and we’d just eat and then I’d be doing homework. We never really talked, and I was desperate to talk.”

He’d like them to do therapy too, but “they’re not too keen,” he laughs. “They come from a different generation. But I think it helps that [as] I have battled with my demons, I’m able to work better with them.”

KSI has been especially close to his younger brother Deji – a frequent presence in his videos when they were both teens. However, their relationship too became strained after a very public spat online. Several diss videos were shared and the two were at loggerheads: a huge family bust-up played out in public. That too has left a mark.

“My brother and I have had some bad times. It’s been public and that is the worst thing ever,” he laughs again, something he often does when talking about painful events.

“I’m still repairing the relationship,” he continues. “It was horrible. I tried so hard to make it private and then to be forced into making it a public situation, well, I hated it. It really broke me. My friends saw me cry, my girlfriend saw me cry. It sucked. But you know, we’ve gotten through it and like me and my bro, my family, we’re in a much better position.

Seeing his brother for his birthday recently was “just like old times” and a big step forward. “It’s definitely getting better,” he smiles.

Therapy has helped him unpack some other behaviours too – like excessive drinking. He now thinks that was also part of his alter-ego creation, born of wanting to mask his true self.

“I would use [drinking] as a way to help build my confidence but it was a false, a fake confidence,” he says. “Now, I’m comfortable to say I don’t want to go out and drink, whereas before I just would because it was the thing to do.”

He says in the past, he would have tried to hide his emotions. “I think sometimes I do feel like I have to put on a character. If I was singing and just started breaking down, [well] I’m not a guy that likes to cry in public,” he says shyly.

“I don’t like crying in general, I hate it, but sometimes emotions do come out. I do try to shield myself, I always try to be strong with everything, but sometimes you just can’t,” he smiles with a shrug.

Like anyone who has grown up on the internet, KSI was subject to trolling – especially early on. Does he think the people behind YouTube and social media platforms should do more to protect those online? He thinks it’s impossible.

“Sometimes people are just having a terrible day and they feel like they need to [have] a go at other people because of it,” he says. “It’s the same with a bully. A bully becomes a bully because of problems they have that are happening at home. They take that frustration and anger onto other people. It’s very hard to stop that as a whole.

KSI

“For me, the best way to deal with it is to take out their negativity. Over time, you can become numb to it and not give those people that power and the reaction they desire,” he continues. “I use negativity to fuel me; to drive me more. I love proving people wrong… I don’t take myself super seriously. I’m a pretty normal guy. I do some crazy, spectacular things but at heart I’m just a normal human being..”

Saying that, not every human being gets a call from former England captain Rooney. “He just messaged me,” KSI laughs. “He just hit me up and he was like, ‘Oh, my children are obsessed with this Prime, are you able to sort me out?!’.” After KSI agreed, Rooney messaged again “being like, ‘Bro, would you want to fight me too?!’, he laughs, that the footballer wanted to fight in his celebrity boxing league too. “I was like, ‘Nah man, no! It’s not happening!’”

While a fight with Wayne Rooney is off the table, KSI has his sights set firmly on a fight with the American boxer and social media personality Jake Paul in the future, continuing to build his Misfits boxing empire, releasing more music and videos and even taking some time to enjoy all that he has achieved.

“I feel at peace with myself,” he says, but he admits he’s not ready to stop anytime soon. “The idea of me being complacent? I hate it! Or being comfortable. I always have to raise the level so I can keep pushing the boundaries for myself to see just how far I really can go…who knows what’s next!”

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