With less than three weeks to go, plans for the Coronation appear to have descended into Carry On chaos.
There’s only been one rehearsal, which it is claimed overran badly, the seating plan is not finalised and the processional route is still causing arguments.
The royal ladies haven’t been told what to wear, or if they can put their tiaras on before the Queen Consort arrives. Camilla’s own coiffeur is said to be fretting about the Holy oil ruining her hairdo.
And workers had to knock up a ramp on the steps up to the throne amid fears the King might take a purler if he trips on his ceremonial robes.
Then there’s the problem of the Coronation mugs – the Dukes of York and Sussex.
Can Andrew be prevented from rocking up in his Knight of the Garter finery? And where the heck do they put The Spare now he’s finally RSVP’d?
Because that’s what’s really been delaying things, the question of where Harry parks his bum.
After getting the naughty seats at the Platty Joobs, the Sussexes vowed no one would put Baby in the corner again, so it’s become a game of musical chairs. Meanwhile, Meghan is organising an actual kids’ party – for Archie’s fourth birthday, which is also on May 6 – then jetting off to receive an award for being a global icon. Well, that’s her excuse
for staying in America and playing Coronation chicken.
But the palace HAS signed off on the crown emoji now – the cartoon image that will appear on official socials.
Although courtiers’ unofficial ones must be filled with scream emojis, plus the sweary and clenched teeth ones too.
AAAARGH!!!
Can everyone just pause and take a long, deep breath? Because it’s all going to be absolutely FINE.
Pomp and ceremony are what Blighty does best and officials have had decades to plan this bash.
We taxpayers are coughing up £100million to make sure everything sparkles. And despite reports of public apathy, we are getting a nice long bank holiday out of this – so we’ll stick the bunting up, eventually, and gear up for a party.
Then Huw Edwards, a few bees and some choruses of Rule Britannia will have the whole of the country cheering Charlie on his way.
This is simply a case of last-minute jitters.
Let’s keep calm and Corry on.
