Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel mocked Republicans in the House of Representatives on Wednesday evening, as they failed for the second day to elect a new speaker. “They’ve been in power for two days, and so far putting Republicans in charge of the House has been like putting woodchucks in charge of your lawn,” he joked.
The presumed next speaker, the California representative Kevin McCarthy, failed to reach the required number of votes six times in two days – “who would’ve guessed that a bunch of insurrection apologists would have trouble certifying a vote?” Kimmel joked. “The last time Kevin felt this abandoned in his house was the movie Home Alone.”
McCarthy, a longtime Trump supporter, has been “caucus-blocked” by the Freedom Caucus, a group of far-right Republicans who view him as not far-right enough. Nevertheless, McCarthy already moved his stuff into the speaker’s office before the failed vote, “which is like showing up for a Tinder date with a toothbrush”, Kimmel said.
“The last time something like this happened was 100 years ago,” Kimmel explained. “And I’ll tell you something – Joe Biden solved it then, and he can solve it again now.”
Donald Trump offered tepid support for McCarthy on Wednesday, posting on Truth Social that he “will do a good job, and maybe even a GREAT JOB”.
“He gave a more forceful endorsement to stuffed crust pizza than to Kevin McCarthy,” Kimmel laughed.
“I have to admit, it’s fun to watch these animals stabbing each other in the back,” he added. “It’s like the House of Cards, but everyone is Kevin Spacey.”
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert relished the debacle in the House. “McCarthy still hasn’t given up. His speaker battle has become seemingly an endless gripping drama and an epic spectacle,” he said, referring to the saga as “Sad-atar: The Way of Loser”.
And the drama could continue – Bob Good, an opponent of McCarthy’s, said it’s worth taking “a few days or a few weeks” to register their dissatisfaction with the presumed speaker.
“They’re going to keep voting like this for a few weeks?!” Colbert marveled. “It’s going to be like groundhog’s day, and not just because McCarthy looks like a groundhog.
“So far, McCarthy has put a brave face on his historic, once-in-a-century curb stomp,” Colbert continued. As McCarthy told reporters following the votes: “Was it the day I wanted to have? No.”
“That’s a pretty mild way to assess the worst day of his political career,” said Colbert.
“But despite having no apparent path to victory, McCarthy has said he will not back down.” In an interview following his defeats, McCarthy assured reporters that there was no way he’d consider not trying to become speaker.
“Oh, Kevin. Let it go,” Colbert advised. “Don’t you know that one of the most important things about dreams is sometimes they die? Except for my dream where you keep losing over and over again.”
Meanwhile, Matt Gaetz, one of the Republicans who have opposed McCarthy’s speakership, released a statement criticizing McCarthy’s pre-emptive move into the office: “What is the basis in law, House rule, or precedent to allow someone who has placed second in three successive speaker elections to occupy the Speaker of the House Office?”
“I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but … Matt Gaetz is right,” said Colbert. “Well, I mean, that’s weird, but you know what they say: even a broken clock would be a much better congressman than Matt Gaetz.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers enjoyed another day of Republican chaos in the House. “God, you guys can’t even have a red wave amongst yourselves,” he joked.
Joe Biden reportedly has no plans to intervene in the speaker vote – “at least not until it stops being hilarious,” Meyers assumed.
In Florida, newly re-elected governor and Trump rival Ron DeSantis said in his swearing-in speech that Florida “is where woke goes to die”. Meyers responded that “in fact, it’s where everything goes to die”.
Meyers also touched on the FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried, who pleaded not guilty in federal court on Wednesday to numerous charges including money laundering – “which from the looks of him, maybe the only thing he’s ever laundered,” Meyers joked.
