Kerry Katona has lifted the lid on how she has survived heartbreaking trauma but has since found peace.
In her new autobiography, Kerry Katona: Whole Again - Love, Life and Me, the former Atomic Kitten star reveals the challenges she has faced in the last decade. This includes tragic losses, a career slump and her turbulent relationship with her ex, George Kay, who died in 2019.
Kerry shares in the memoir how she suffered domestic abuse at the hands of George, the father of her eight-year-old daughter DJ. Speaking to the ECHO the 42-year-old, from Warrington, said how reliving those memories for her third memoir was "traumatic".
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She said: " I thought it was quite therapeutic to get it down, maybe like therapy. It turned out to be traumatic, every minute of it. I hated every second of it.
"It was pure fear, anxiety. At one point I was like just cancel it, I don't want to do it, I don't want it out. There is shame and a guilt with it as well, all I can say is pure fear, just scared. Even though George is not with us anymore, he still has a hold on me.
"I am one of these people where you look at my life, I have been through so much and I just crack on with it. I have had therapy, I have had bits and bobs, but when you're going into so much detail, I don't want to deal with it, I just want to crack on.
"Your writing it and reliving it again, it's not nice. I was an emotional mess, I was crying, I couldn't breathe."
Kerry said she hopes sharing her experiences will "save a life". She added: "I just hope it has all been worth it. I put sweat, blood and a lot of tears into that book. I hope it helps somebody."
Speaking about the title of the book - taken from one of her most famous songs - Kerry said she has "never been in a place where there is no drama" until now and has finally started to feel 'whole again'.
She told the ECHO: "The first one was called 'Too much, Too young', about my childhood. The second one was called 'Still Standing' after the drugs and the bankruptcies and 'Whole Again', I have never been in a place where there is no drama - I haven't got anything to tell you.
"The last five years there's been no drama in my life. I am in a relationship that's equal. I am still learning to adjust, with George it was very controlling."
The mum-of-five said she used to "plaster her husbands all over social media" while proclaiming her love, however with her now partner Ryan it is different.
She added: "The difference is I don't need Ryan, I want him, whereas before I felt like I needed these people to survive. I make me happy and Ryan adds to that happiness, that's a massive difference to me.
"In my head I think we are going to be together till the day we die, but the way life has turned out, god knows what is around the corner."
Kerry said her children are all doing "amazing" and her work is going from strength to strength, including her OnlyFans profile, fitness app and boutique. She said at one point during the last decade she was not getting any work.
She said: "Work is phenomenal. OnlyFans is going strong, Marnii is going strong, my fitness app is going strong, Kerry's Boutique is going strong." Kerry added: "I feel so blessed, so lucky and so grateful. There was a time when I was thinking 'why haven't I got any work, why am I not getting any work?'
"As tired as I get and as hectic as it gets, I just think 'you're working Kerry, you're earning'. I have always been a grafter, I have worked since I was 14. I have always had my own, I have always been a provider and I will continue to do so."
When asked what she hopes readers will take from her memoir, Kerry said: "Hope. Maybe a little strength, a little inspiration. But hope and courage."
Kerry Katona: Whole Again, published by Mirror Books, is available from high street stores, supermarkets and Amazon now.
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