Kerry Katona says she has never spoken about her miscarriage after a 'rebound fling' following George Kay's death because she felt ashamed.
The star has opened up about the death of the former rugby player, who passed away suddenly in 2019 after eating 'a quantity of cocaine'.
Kerry and George tied the knot in 2014 but their romance was blighted by abuse, with the singer claiming her late ex would spit on her, strangle her and hit her while she was pregnant.
She now says she fell pregnant within weeks of the death of her former husband.
The former Atomic Kitten spoke about a brief romance with a mystery man in her new memoir, Kerry Katona: Whole Again.
She said she felt disgusted in herself - so decided to keep it a secret before losing the unborn child when it was discovered there was no heartbeat.
She said: "I was careful, I was on the pill. I even took several morning after pills. I felt so bewildered and suddenly quite desperate.
"I’ve never spoken about this because it makes me feel ashamed. I feel nothing but shame because I never wanted to connect with that baby.
"We went for scans and we found out it was a girl but I just knew it wasn’t right. I felt so disgusted in myself as I’m such a maternal person and I didn’t feel bad. But I didn’t want it."
After Kerry miscarried, the baby remained in her womb so she underwent an operation to have the foetus removed.
Kerry recently claimed that George would beat her every day during their relationship and said he even tried to strangle her while driving.
She also accused her ex of planning to inject their baby daughter with heroin before killing himself.
The mum-of-five opened up about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her late ex, who is the father of her youngest daughter Dylan-Jorge, eight, and admits he still has 'such a hold on me, even in death', following the former rugby league player's passing at the age of 39 after a drug overdose in 2019.
Kerry admits she is aware of the fact George isn't around to challenge anything she says and share his version of events but adds how her recollections are 'all fact – and it’s my truth'.
"He was so vile to me. I’m telling you now, if George was still alive and I’d have stayed with him, I’d be dead. I would not be here today," the one-time Queen of the Jungle tells OK! magazine when looking back on her marriage with her late ex.
