Kelsey Parker has revealed that she’s dreading Christmas this year, as it marks the first holiday without her late husband Tom.
The Wanted singer tragically died in March this year at just age 33 after a year and a half fight against stage four glioblastoma brain cancer.
Taking to Instagram yesterday evening, the mum-of-two said that this time of year has made grief especially difficult for herself and their two children, three-year-old Aurelia and two-year-old Bodhi.
Kelsey, 32, said that the struggle she was feeling was made worse by the fact that she would be attending her granddad’s funeral today.
She said to followers on her Story: “Hey everyone, I know a lot of you have been checking in with me today and I just really appreciate it, thank you so much.
“Today's been a real struggle. It's my grandad's funeral tomorrow, so I think that's like bringing, like surfacing a lot of grief and trauma and probably a bit of post-traumatic stress. It's just been so tough.”
Kelsey said that she has been ‘caught off guard’ by a sudden surge of grief after she finished wrapping gifts for her kids upon realising they were solely from her this year.
“And you know what I've spent the evening doing? Wrapping presents,” Kelsey added.
“And not that Tom would have ever helped me actually wrap a present. I don't think for the whole 13 years I was with him, he actually ever wrapped a present, except for mine and I blatantly know he got someone else to wrap them,” she quipped.
“It was writing the gift tags. Like ‘To Ray, to Bo, Merry Christmas, Lots of love Mummy’. Like that really, really got me tonight. It caught me by surprise.
“And I sat there and I was writing them and I was like all these presents are just from me. I don't know, this is the thing with grief, it literally catches you off guard.
“And I think deep down I did know this because that's why I've just been putting off Christmas. I've literally just been dreading, dreading Christmas.”
Trying to see the light in the situation, Kelsey added: “But I've got to make the best of what I've got. I've also gotta do it for the kids. I've gotta make sure that this is an amazing Christmas for them.
“I'm just going to be so heartbroken. Nothing like a funeral a few days before Christmas. I've got a poem that I'm reading for the funeral. And I've been going through that this morning. That just absolutely tore me apart.
“I mean, what a year,” she concluded.
If you’re struggling with grief and need someone to talk to, call the Cruse Bereavement Support helpline on 0808 808 1677. Lines are open Monday and Friday 9.30am-5pm, Tuesday-Thursday 9.30am-8pm and Saturday and Sunday 10am-2pm.
