Here is a snapshot of the dire straits the Tories are currently drowning in.
They have just lost 1,000 council seats, dozens of their MPs are announcing they are standing down before being kicked out at the next election, their flagship policy of “stopping the boats” has been savaged as morally repugnant by the Archbishop of Canterbury, and the ministerial talent pool is so minuscule that Penny Mordaunt has leapt to second favourite to be next party leader purely because she looked good holding a sword in a church.
A chronic state of affairs, you would guess, that would have an emboldened Labour Party smelling blood, especially after seizing 500-plus extra councillors and 22 new councils in last week’s local elections, and enjoying a double-digit lead in national opinion polls.
But instead, the noise from the top is of potential coalition with a party that facilitated a crippling austerity alongside the Tories less than a decade ago, and who would sell their soul to Beelzebub, if they had one, for a whiff of power.
After categorically ruling out a coalition with the SNP, Keir Starmer refused 11 times on TV this week to rule out going into power with the Lib-Dems, with that party’s former leader Vince Cable claiming “serious talks” will soon take place.
It’s yet another U-turn from the Labour leader who, last July, when Bloomberg news agency asked if he had ruled out a coalition with the Lib-Dems, answered: “Yes, ruled out a coalition with anyone.”
As a member of a Labour party that was 30 points ahead of the imploding Tories last October and talking about transforming Britain with a radical vision, this feels like being told that instead of a trip to the moon you’ll have to make do with a visit to Crewe’s railway heritage centre.
What a downgrading of ambition. What an admission that telling voters “the party has changed” can only take you so far. That any radical vision Labour had has been crushed by the Peter Mandelson clones who now run policy, on the grounds that promising too much change might frighten the horses in Middle England.
So just say nothing and hope for the best. Which looks like settling for sharing power with a party that kept David Cameron in office by voting for savage spending cuts, welfare slashing and tax breaks for the rich.
Last week Starmer said he was “moving on” from scrapping university tuition fees which he promised when he stood as Labour leader in 2020.
It’s not the first pledge he’s moved on from. Renationalising mail, water and energy, taxing high earners more, scrapping Universal Credit are others.
The thing about politically moving on is it should take you to a new place with a new offer. But I’m struggling to see one from Labour that says anything other than “at least we’re not the Tories”.
Starmer said after last week’s local elections that the country is “desperate for change”.
So when is he going to unveil the transformative policies and bold vision he believes will bring about that change?
Maybe if he outlined them to a nation exhausted by these toxic Tories he would not have to jump into bed with a party my Uncle Mickey used to call “about as trustworthy as a cheesecloth Johnny”.
