Katherine Ryan has revealed a lingering Covid symptom caused a 'brief rift' in her marriage to Bobby Kootstra.
“It caused a brief rift in my marriage,” she said of losing her sense of smell – which has still only partially returned.
“There were themes of mistrust because my husband was the first one who noticed. I was still eating food, tasting food, and my husband said to me, ‘You know when I cooked dinner, we’ve lost our smell because I couldn’t smell the garlic.’
“I said, ‘No, you’re wrong, you’re lying, you can smell, you’re an idiot.’ And so then to prove him wrong, I went around the house gathering different things I knew had strong smells.
“I gathered candles and some shampoos, and some essences, and I couldn’t smell any of them while I was trying to find something to prove him wrong. That’s when I realised I couldn’t smell anything.
“Now I really appreciate those little things that maybe a lot of us took for granted. I definitely, definitely should have cherished my sense of smell more.”
Katherine is in the middle of her latest UK tour when we sit down for a catch-up.
It’s her first string of dates since returning from maternity leave after having son Fred last June – and the 38-year-old says the audience has changed during the time she’s been off.
“People are adjusting to being out again,” she says. “I thought it would be an adjustment for me on stage as I’d been at home for 18 months but I’m learning that the adjustment is happening with the audiences as well.
“I have found people are a little bit more rambunctious. They’re learning how to be in public again, they’re shouting out, they’re having arguments. I’ll be honest, some people are getting off with each other in the booths.”
Although it’s not without its challenging moments, the comedian says she’s happy to be touring again.
“It’s been a different tour but it’s been really rewarding,” she says.
“I believe comedy is a conversation – you can’t do that on TV or with a podcast. You have to get out to the cities and towns and I do feel so privileged to be able to do that again, but equally slightly scared of all the things that kick off on tour. People are really going for it, put it that way.”
One thing that has massively changed since Katherine last headed out on tour is she now has son Fred, who she gave birth to during the pandemic. But the road to becoming a mum-of-two was a painful one, with Katherine telling us she suffered two miscarriages before getting pregnant with her little boy.
“By the time Fred joined our family I felt very lucky because we had lost two pregnancies before him,” she says. “But I also have been pregnant for 18 months so I joke that I had the gestation of an elephant. It felt relentless to me.
“I think any time you reflect on a difficult time you see the purpose in it. I think it was actually kind of humbling and very centring to have to wait for Fred.
“In a way, I’m glad he was born at the end of lockdown, not the beginning. A lot of my friends welcomed babies at the beginning and those babies didn’t know anyone but their parents for about a year and I feel like that would have been so much more difficult being isolated with the baby. I’m the opposite.”
And there’s no fear of Fred wanting for socialisation as he is along for the ride on his mum’s tour, Missus, as is husband Bobby.
“Fred isn’t isolated – he’s going to all the towns and cities, and gets to see train conductors and shopkeepers and people in the streets. He’s overloaded with smiles and people.
“My heart goes out to anyone who had to struggle with that in the pandemic. That must have been so difficult.
“Fred is always with me. We’ve just got back from a little cluster of gigs up north. We were doing Newcastle, Doncaster, Manchester, Blackpool and we just stay in the middle with the baby, so we’ll find a hotel in Leeds or Harrogate and satellite out
so that he’s not being moved around too much.
“I don’t think that’s something a lot of comedians have to consider when they go on tour, how to placate the baby and make it work for him. That’s an extra task.”
However, her daughter Violet, 12, from a previous relationship, isn’t too keen on tour life.
“Violet comes when she can. Sometimes she’ll come after school on a Friday for a gig I’m just going to and driving back but she has so many commitments now,” says Katherine.
“On those long weekends away she would rather stay with friends, unfortunately, so I’ve been kicked to the curb.”
Katherine recently faced backlash from other parents after claiming she had potty-trained Fred by the time he was eight months.
“I didn’t care,” she answers when asked what she thinks of the uproar. “The reason I share some of my parenting viewpoints, let’s call them, is I understand they are unconventional.
“I never want to shame any other parent or judge them for the way they choose to train their children or raise their children, but I just feel like it’s always useful to get a different perspective and to think outside the box. The way I parent is unconventional. I respond to my children’s needs immediately.
“I tour with them, I sleep with Fred – not Violet, obviously, she’s too grown up – but I think it’s good to offer people an alternative because I’m all about choice and variety.
“I feel like you don’t have to go by the book when it comes to parenting. Whatever works for your family is great. I want people to know that most of the world potty-train their children from birth.
“It doesn’t mean that you have to do it but if you happen to have the luxury of being with your children for a lot of the day, then you can do it.
“When I got backlash it didn’t hurt my feelings because I understand where that comes from. People feel that their methods are being challenged or don’t believe me – and, luckily, I have a very thick skin. It doesn’t bother me at all. I’m just happy that my story can reach certain parents who might give it a try.
“It’s good for a baby’s sense of autonomy and it’s good for the planet and the climate, actually, to use fewer nappies.
“So, yeah, I’m fine sharing controversial viewpoints.”
Not content with entertaining the nation with her live comedy, podcast and best-selling memoir, The Audacity , Katherine is also helping to retrain the senses of those who, like her, lost their sense of smell due to Covid.
She is doing this by partnering with meal kit delivery service Gousto and smell disorder charity AbScent to launch their flavour-training kits.
