Kate Ferdinand has admitted to sometimes wishing that her husband’s late wife was ‘still here'
(Picture: xkateferdinand / Instagram)Kate Ferdinand has spoken about her “bizarre” feeling of wishing her husband Rio’s late wife was “back here” as she supports her step-children through their grief.
The retired footballer’s first wife Rebecca Ellison died at the age of 34 following a short battle with breast cancer in 2015.
Now the former TOWIE star admitted she wishes her husband’s late wife was back because she can see the pain her step-children Lorenz, 15, Tate, 13, and Tia, 10, are going through.
Speaking in the latest episode of Blended, she told psychotherapist Julia Samuel: “I don’t know if I’m upset for the children or for me. I find myself wishing she was back here.
“I can see the pain the kids are in and then it kind of brings this sliding door situation where I think ‘oh well if she was here, then I wouldn’t be here’. Me and Tia actually spoke about it quite a lot, she says: ‘I want mummy back, but where would you be?’ and it just starts all these crazy thoughts.”
She added: “Just for me in general if I’m having a hard day, I feel like I have taken on their grief. I find it bizarre because I never knew their mum but sometimes you just have to get out the house and go for a walk.”
The TV personality married the footballer in 2019 and the rest is history.
As well as being a step-mum to her husband’s three children, they welcomed their son Cree 15 months ago in December 2020.
However, the Essex born star said she doesn’t want her step-children to feel like they can’t talk about their mum and she said Rebecca is “very present in our house”.
She added: "Sometimes I feel like we openly speak about their mum all the time, she’s very present in our house. But I don’t know when the right time might be to have a deep chat.
"If they seem really happy, I don’t want to then talk about their mum and make them sad. We have our deepest chats on our walks and everything seems to come out."
Recently, the Ferdinand couple enjoyed an evening at a Stormzy concert with the older kids.
She wrote on Instagram: “Night out to see Stormzy with the big kids… They’ve ditched us.”
