Julian Dicks is an undisputed West Ham legend – but his time at the club wasn't without its less savoury moments.
And perhaps the grimmest of all came courtesy of Hammers teammate John Moncur, as Dicks tells FourFourTwo in an interview for our latest issue.
Fair warning: maybe finish whatever you're eating before you carry on reading this one...
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"One [story] that stands out is when we were playing QPR at Loftus Road," Dicks tells FFT. "Harry Redknapp had built a decent West Ham team, but it was full of lunatics. One of them was John Moncur, who was always playing tricks on people.
"Before games, I used to have a bath with my boots on – legs hanging over the side – and relax with a can of Coke and a Mars bar. At Loftus Road, I ran a bubble bath and headed back into the dressing room to pop my boots on.
"As I got into the bath and laid down, I felt something touch me. Something slippery's in my bath. John Moncur has taken a s**t in there while I was out of the room.
"He was there with all of the other lads in the doorway, laughing at me. I've leapt out the water and chased him, but obviously we've got a game to play.
"I'd never do that to anyone, but that's the type of bloke John was: a laugh, and good value in the dressing room, but a f**king nutter."
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