Julia Bradbury's world was turned upside down when she got an ultrasound on a lump she had been monitoring for years.
The Countryfile presenter had been watching a lump she had discovered almost two years ago from a self-examination and went to get it seen by a doctor.
The results came back as micro cysts, something worth watching but not malignant, then a consultant suggested having another mammogram one year later and nothing showed up.
The lump got a little bigger and was painful to touch, which doesn't always indicative of cancer, but instinctive Juli wanted to be asolutely sure it wasn't something dangerous..
Cancer shows up as white on a mammogram and the dense breast tissue the presenter had is mainly white too, so she had an ultrasound and a biopsy which confirmed she had cancer.
"When you first hear the words 'you have cancer', you can’t help thinking about death. I have definitely felt fear, I have definitely felt vulnerable through this whole process," says Julia, who was dignosed with breast cancer last year.
"But with that, has come a new awareness of my emotions and my feelings and the realisation that itis OK to be vulnerable, and to give in to it a little bit. That’s something I have learnt about myself. Before my cancer diagnosis I found it hard to give in to vulnerability."
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The presenter is speakingly openly about her future in an hour-long ITV documentary, Julia Bradbury: Breast Cancer and Me, as she prepares to undergo a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.
The film candidly follows Julia’s own personal story, seeing her and her family through the process of physical and psychological recovery.
"This is completely unlike any otherdocumentary or television series I have made before," she admits. "I wasn’t expecting to make a programme about myselflike this: my cancer diagnosis was areal shock and out of the blue."
"This is me, asking questions for myself, rather than for everybody who has had a breastcancer diagnosis: I have learnt that all of our breast cancers are very different. Ourexperiences are different, our treatments are different, the types of breast cancer womenget are different."
Julia keeps her own personal video diary in the run-up to her surgery, and speaks openly and honestly about her thoughts, feelings and reflections on what she is going through.
Central to this story is Julia’s support network: her immediate family including her parents, both of whom are cancer survivors, and her older sister Gina
All of them are impacted by Julia’s diagnosis and intrinsic to her efforts to recover, including her three children, Zephyrus, Xanthe and Zena.
"I’ve always found enormous healing power and nurturing power in nature; it’s definitely been a wonderful companion for me throughout this entire experience," explains Julia.
"It was veryimportant in my life before, and if anything, it’s even more important in my life now. Everyday since my operation, even when I was feeling incredibly tired, I have been outside everyday, even if that’s just sitting in the garden.
"Nature has been very important, but number one is my family. I have an incredibly close, warm, loving family. I have young children, who are my motivation to help me through this.
"And having the loving comfort of a secure family is something I feel very, very grateful for. That, alongside my friends. I’m very fortunate."
Julia says the experience has taught her to take care of herself, not to say that she blames herself, but that she thinks we can take our bodies for granted.
She explains: "And of course, it just makes you full of gratitude. With every positive step you take you feel grateful that you are moving forward.
"I think it has built my resilience too. And it’s taught me that I have to take care of myself. I fully understand what that means now.
"When you’ve had a shock like this, it brings everything into sharp focus. Although I wouldhave considered myself a healthy person before this diagnosis, I realise I wasn’t as healthy as I could have been and I should have been.
"That’s not to say I’m blaming myself – oranything that I have done – as a reason for my cancer. But I do think we can all too easilytake our bodies for granted. W
Speaking to doctors and other experts, Julia reveals all aspects of this difficult journey, as she also meets other families who are facing similar struggles.
When asked what she is looking forward to in the future, Julia says: "I’m looking forward to seeing my children grow up.
"A very good friend who sadly died of breast cancer, said this about getting a cancer diagnosis: ‘Before or after a breast cancer diagnosis, there isn’t a single person on this earthwho can tell you the day that you are going to die. So, treasure every moment, moveforward with as much positivity as you can, take care of yourself, enjoy the things that areimportant to you.’
"My children, who are young, are the most important, precious things inmy life, so every single moment that I have with them from here on in is a moment to betreasured."
Julia Bradbury: Breast Cancer and Me airs tonight on ITV at 9pm
You can call the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 for more information.
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