Terminally ill Jonnie Irwin say he has almost died twice but vowed to keep on fighting as he heartbreakingly announced he is losing his memory.
The 49-year-old Place in the Sun star revealed his terminal cancer diagnosis last year.
He has bravely battled on and says he is determined to make the most of every minute with with boys Rex, three, twins Rafa and Cormac, two, and beloved wife Jess.
Jonnie says he kept the diagnosis a secret because he "had to pay the bills".
He claimed that he was removed from hosting duties on Channel 4's property show after going public.
The broadcaster said the production company took the decision on the basis of his diagnosis' impact on their insurance
In a new podcast OneChat, Jonnie explained: “I am living with cancer rather than dying from cancer.
"As soon as you say you’ve got cancer, people just write you off, people just think you are going to cark it.
“Unfortunately, one of the companies claimed they couldn’t insure me and so they didn’t renew my contract and left a massive hole in my income.
“The day I came out and told the world that I had cancer, terminal cancer, is the day I started living again. It’s like being Jonnie Irwin again and I actually feel alive.”
But he said: “I have been close to death's door, twice at least."
He also spoke about the devastating effect on his personality the brain therapy has had.
Jonnie went on: “You lose your memory, you lose your patience. I have got a very short temper.
“It’s not made me a better person, that’s for sure.
"I’ve been home more than ever before and I’m lucky to have seen every bit of their upbringing, and see how they change."
Jonnie recently opened up about preparing his family for life after his death and he wants to leave messages for his wife and children so he can still 'speak' to them after he passes away.
He plans to make the very most of modern technology - despite how difficult it will be.
“It's amazing to think I too could speak to my wife and children after I pass away," he told the BBC.
"My diagnosis has taken a lot from me but it has given me the ability to prepare.
“The only way to make sure your digital legacy is as you like it, is to take control now," he added.
“I'm going to take every opportunity to do that for the people I love.”
