John Oliver ridiculed President Donald Trump's decision last week to pause his “reciprocal tariffs” after spooking the stock markets, likening the president to “a toddler” for his impulsiveness.
Speaking on Sunday’s installment of his HBO show Last Week Tonight, the British satirist described the preceding seven days as an “emotional rollercoaster” set in motion by Trump “with the help of the single dumbest chart in human history.”
Recapping the events that led to the commander-in-chief’s decision to reverse his global trade policy, Oliver turned to Trump’s attempt to calm investors by warning them against becoming “Panicans,” which he defined as a new political party for the weak and stupid.
“I’d argue the weak and stupid demo is, if anything, way overrepresented in government right now,” the host observed, nodding to a photomontage of populist Republicans Mike Johnson, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Vice President JD Vance.
When he reached Trump’s boast that his fellow world leaders were “kissing my a** to make a deal,” Oliver said: “I’m sure some have been pretty nice to him, the same way you try to be nice if you suddenly found yourself in the same room as a monkey with a gun.”
Oliver called Trump’s conduct, from announcing the tariffs in triumphant fashion to suspending them amid the financial meltdown, “total chaos” and “incredibly stupid” and played a clip of CNBC host Jim Cramer explaining the baffling decision to place a 90 percent tariff on the small African nation of Lesotho to illustrate the illogic of it all.
Asking in exasperation what the president’s endgame might be, he observed: “The best way to ensure Trump does something is to tell him not to do it.
“He’s like a toddler, both because his brain is unable to grasp negations and also because he has a short torso, huge head, always looks like he’s about to fall over and won’t let anyone brush his hair.”
The comedian went on to mock Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent as an uncharismatic “Whoville tax accountant” and further criticized Vance for unwisely referring to Chinese citizens as “peasants.”
Vance’s words were “incredibly insulting, especially coming from the man who is next in line to run the country if anything were to happen to Elon Musk,” Oliver said.
“In a way, I guess it’s reassuring to know that despite our differences, the American and Chinese people can come together to agree that it is fun to dunk on this cursed Cabbage Patch b****.”
After reflecting grimly on the loss of confidence in America as a world power among its allies since Trump took office, Oliver turned his attention to Democratic Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer for gloating over the president’s U-turn on social media.
“We dodged a bullet, but the monkey still has a gun!” he reminded Schumer.
Why Trump is jailing student activists in Louisiana
UK pays second part of £2 billion loan to Ukraine amid ‘critical moment’
Trump suggests he can predict the future as markets react to tech duty pause: Live
Reeves urged to raise basic rate of income tax for first time in 50 years
Bukele won’t commit to returning man who was mistakenly deported from U.S.
Trump claims he wants to boost manufacturing. But the industry is in tariff chaos
