Something seems amiss with the latest Bruce Arians retirement, although not nearly as amiss as the first Bruce Arians "retirement."
Flash back to January 2012. Arians was entrenched as the Steelers offensive coordinator and didn't figure to be going anywhere when this legendary statement made the rounds, via the team and coach Mike Tomlin.
"Bruce Arians has informed me that he will retire from coaching. ... I am grateful to Bruce for contributing to our success and wish him nothing but the best in his retirement."
Tomlin's wish came true. Arians had the greatest retirement in NFL history, winning two Coach of the Year Awards, going 80-48-1 and sailing to a Super Bowl championship with Tom Brady in Tampa Bay.
The strange firing here — it wasn't Tomlin's idea — actually worked out for both sides. The Steelers appointed Todd Haley as coordinator, and he helped prolong Ben Roethlisberger's career. Arians took a job with the Colts about eight seconds after his alleged retirement and has been mostly winning ever since.
In fact, Arians fashioned one of the more incredible coaching stories on record, given that he did not become a head coach until age 60. For those of us who still haven't figured out what we want to be when we grow up, the man is an inspiration.
Arians, who turns 70 in October, might just have done enough to merit a bust in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, given who's already in.
Consider the case of George Allen, who coached only 12 years, did not win a championship and went 2-7 in the playoffs. He's in. So are several coaches who never won a Super Bowl. Jimmy Johnson coached nine years and went 80-64 with two Super Bowl wins. Arians coached eight years (really nine), went 80-48-1, won a Super Bowl and had a better winning percentage than the likes of Bud Grant, Bill Walsh, Joe Gibbs and Bill Cowher. Arians also went 6-3 in the playoffs.
His head coaching career began under great duress, when he replaced cancer-stricken Colts coach Chuck Pagano for the final 12 games in 2012 (Arians went 9-3 that season, but the record belongs to Pagano because Arians was an interim coach). It wound its way to Arizona, where Arians rejuvenated Carson Palmer's career and went to an NFC title game, and finally to Tampa Bay, where Brady arrived two years ago.
There seems to be some question as to whether Brady wanted to continue that relationship. Questions arose when Arians surprisingly stepped aside Wednesday night to take a front-office role — was his relationship with the suddenly unretired Brady strained? — but the good news is that it wasn't health-related and that Arians leaves the Bucs in excellent shape.
In any case, I doubt Arians is stressing. He doesn't stress over much. He was one of the last true characters in the uptight NFL coaching world, shooting from the hip and enjoying himself every step of the way (except maybe when Antonio Brown quit in the middle of a game).
Arians made sports what they're supposed to be: fun. He also was a trail blazer on the diversity front. While others in the NFL talk a big game, Arians delivered. As Peter King reported, "Arians' last coaching staff in Tampa included a league-high 11 Black coaches (including all three coordinators) and two women." The group notably included defensive coordinator Todd Bowles, who has replaced Arians as coach, just as Arians wished.
Arians had one of the toughest jobs in this town but never really cared about the critics. I remember one day at training camp, after Arians had beaten prostate cancer, asking him about the thousands of other play-callers around here.
"My wife doesn't like it when I get called ugly names, but it's OK; it's part of the job," Arians said. "Everybody can call plays, especially after the fact. I get some very interesting plays in the mail."
Such as?
"Reverses with all these passes. Thirteen guys on the field. Crazy stuff."
Nobody but Arians drew up a play called "62 Scat Flasher Z Level," and it won the Steelers a Super Bowl. All it took was a historically great throw from Ben Roethlisberger and a historically great catch from Santonio Holmes with 42 seconds left.
"Probably the best throw I've ever seen," Arians said.
What about the catch?
"The catch was good. 'Tone' kept his toes down. But to fit the ball in that pigeonhole was unbelievable."
Just like Arians' second act.
