Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump’s many shock cabinet picks, from Robert F Kennedy Jr as director of health and human services to Matt Gaetz as attorney general.
Jimmy Kimmel
It’s been merely a week since Donald Trump won a second term in office, and already “he is running this country like it is a reality show,” said Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday evening. “But instead of Meatf Loaf and Dennis Rodman, he’s got Matt Gaetz and Tulsi Gabbard.”
“You know, if we wanted the host of a reality show to run the country, there were much better choices,” said Kimmel. Instead, with Trump and his cabinet picks, “it’s like the worst People’s Choice awards every day now.”
On Thursday, Trump named Robert F Kennedy Jr, a vaccine denier and conspiracy theorist, to be director of health and human services. “And who better to be in charge of health and human services than a guy whose brain was partially devoured by a worm?” said Kimmel, referring to Kennedy’s admission that a worm had eaten part of his brain.
“This tells you all you need to know about our country right now,” Kimmel added. “RFK got caught having phone sex with a reporter and she was fired. What happened to him? They made him secretary of health and human services.
“There are many theories as to why Trump is naming a battalion of bozos to do these very important jobs,” Kimmel noted. “Some believe he’s testing the Republican Congress to see how far he can push them. Some say he’s doing this strategically to weaken certain sections of the government. Or – and this is the theory that I believe – he’s dumb.”
Seth Meyers
While “Republicans are open about the fact that they’re going to be compliant little servants,” said Seth Meyers on Late Night, “Trump is making it clear he’s going to push that as far as he can with his unhinged staffing picks.”
Perhaps the most unhinged is the Florida congressman Matt Gaetz as attorney general, now tapped to lead the same department that was investigating him for years for alleged obstruction of justice and sex trafficking.
Politico reported that the idea for the Gaetz nomination came together just hours before it was announced, onboard Trump’s plane to Washington DC on which Gaetz was a passenger, while Trump’s reportedly more sensible chief of staff, Susie Wiles, was in another room and unaware.
“So Trump came up with the plan the same way a four-year-old decides to shove a battery in his nose because he was unsupervised,” said Meyers.
The decision has shocked even longtime Republicans, with the former Trump official John Bolton even calling it “the worst cabinet pick in American history”.
“I know Democrats will be tempted to echo Bolton and make this about character and decency, but there’s a far better argument,” said Meyers. “Take a lesson from the election, ignore the John Boltons of this world, make this about corruption and make it about power.
“Who is Gaetz going to use his power to protect?” he continued. “He’s already protected himself, he’s already protecting Trump and he’ll protect the rich and the powerful – anyone on Trump’s side, the oligarchs and war hawks he’s filling his cabinet with. It’s an administration of the rich and powerful for the rich and powerful.”
Stephen Colbert
“Today is not the worst day since Trump was elected,” said Stephen Colbert on The Late Show. “That was yesterday. And maybe tomorrow, and also today.”
On Thursday, Trump “continued his exhaustive search for the most qualified people in his line of sight” and chose “nepo baby anti-vax maniac” Robert F Kennedy Jr as his secretary of health and human services. “I know, that sounds insane, but we should all keep an open mind, because that’s how the worm gets in,” Colbert joked.
“So RFK Jr is now in charge of our health,” he lamented. “Exactly what everyone voted for. Surely this will lower the price of eggs.”
Besides being a vaccine denier, Kennedy spread a racist conspiracy that Covid-19 was “ethnically targeted” to spare Ashkenazi Jewish and Chinese people. “So, good news to everyone of Chinese or Jewish descent who got Covid-19: no you didn’t,” Colbert quipped.
Kennedy has also suggested that “chemicals in the water” are “turning children gay”.
“That is insane!” Colbert exclaimed. “That is nonsense. Water does not turn a person gay, although I gotta say, Jason Momoa in Aquaman came pretty darn close.”
As for attorney general, Gaetz resigned from Congress two days before the House ethics committee was set to release its “highly damaging” report on its investigation into Gaetz’s alleged illicit drug use and sexual misconduct. The committee no longer has jurisdiction without Gaetz in office. “So now, Gaetz almost certainly won’t face consequences,” said Colbert. “Coincidentally, Face Consequences is also the name of his off-brand botox.”
