The 49ers need to trade Jimmy Garoppolo ASAP. I can’t take it anymore. The constant speculation and consternation has driven me to a point of extreme agitation.
If I have to hear one more talking head talk about “maybe they’ll just keep him,” (they’re not going to keep him) I’m going to slam my face repeated into the nearest brick wall with a vengeance previously unknown to my face or the wall.
If I have to have one more debate about what his value is on the trade market (FYI WE HAVE NO IDEA), I’m going to walk to Levi’s Stadium, dig a 40-foot hole, climb out and then swan dive into it. There I’ll be buried by a group of people who will all be wearing No. 10 49ers jerseys. Preferably the red 1994 throwbacks because those are impossibly saucy, and if my demise is going to come early at least it’s going to look good.
It might be worth all the arguments and headaches if this was Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady. But it’s not. It’s a guy who’s signature play is an overthrow in the Super Bowl. And fretting this much over a player who may not be better than Kirk Cousins just isn’t something I need anymore.
The winning during the Garoppolo era was cool and a stark departure from what they did prior to his arrival, but it can go on without him. It doesn’t take prime Dan Marino to fire some underneath throws between the numbers and hand the ball off in one of the most high-level rushing attacks in the league.
When the 49ers’ season came to an end at SoFi Stadium there was a feeling of reverence for Garoppolo after he played through two injuries, one of which required surgery this offseason. He gutted it out to try and help his team. That’s admirable and not something every QB would do. But a willingness to play hurt can’t be one of your best traits.
Now the offseason conversation around Garoppolo has done away with some of those warm, fuzzy feelings about the 49ers’ QB and instead reopened the nagging pains that came with watching him every week. Maybe he stays! Maybe they get a first-round pick! Maybe they make him the backup! It’s a mess, and I’m tired of it.
It’s turned into a relationship where you know things are bad but you keep telling yourself “yeah but all the good times,” only the good times are harder to come by as the wild speculation about Garoppolo’s future gets louder. Those good times instead are clouded by airmailed throws over the middle, wounded ducks to the boundary, and Troy Aikman saying “I’m afraid they’re gonna have to rely on Jimmy Garoppolo” in the waning moments of the NFC championship game loss in Los Angeles.
Everything about Jimmy Garoppolo has been difficult. Everything has been an argument since his first year in a 49ers uniform when his extension was a topic of debate. It rarely felt like fun, and now in what should be his final offseason with the club it’s still a chore.
Best of luck to Garoppolo wherever he lands, and someday I’m sure I’ll recall the Garoppolo era with a measure of fondness and nostalgia. But for now I just can’t wait for it to be over.
