Jennifer Lopez detailed tragic moments when she felt "never happy".
The singer, 53, explains it "took years" to turn her life around after long periods of unhappiness in a recent tell-all interview.
She pins the moments on why her previous relationships might not have been so successful, saying she always put others first.
"I just didn’t understand what it was to care for myself, to not put somebody else’s feelings and needs—and your need for them to love you—in front of taking care of yourself," she said.
JLO, who tied the knot with Hollywood's Ben Affleck in Las Vegas back in July, explains she would 'put herself second' while 'thinking that's a noble thing'.
She told Vogue: "And it’s not. Those patterns become deep patterns that you carry with you, and then at a certain point you go, 'Wait, this doesn’t feel good.'
"Why am I never happy? I really felt that way for a long time. And finally I was just like, 'Ugh! It’s time to figure me out because I need to be good for these babies'."
She admitted it "took years and years" to "really put the pieces together" despite having "all the willingness" for change.
In the same interview, Jennifer revealed that taking Ben's last name after their marriage was a "power move", even though she is still known as a Lopez in the world of showbiz.
The pair tied the knot earlier this year after previously being engaged in the early 2000s but never getting to walking down the aisle.
They were set to get married back in 2004 but ended up splitting before going on to have other marriages and children.
However, they managed to reconnect almost two decades later and went on to have two large wedding ceremonies.
"People are still going to call me Jennifer Lopez. But my legal name will be Mrs. Affleck because we’re joined together," she added.
"We’re husband and wife. I’m proud of that. I don’t think that’s a problem. … It’s not traditional. It doesn’t have any romance to it. It feels like it’s a power move, you know what I mean?"
Jennifer went on to say that she understand why people would criticise her choice but she thinks it is 'romantic' to take her partner's name.
She said: "I’m very much in control of my own life and destiny and feel empowered as a woman and as a person. I can understand that people have their feelings about it, and that’s okay, too.
"But if you want to know how I feel about it, I just feel like it’s romantic. It still carries tradition and romance to me, and maybe I’m just that kind of girl."
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