Author and Ohio senator, James David ‘JD’ Vance, who was recently selected as Donald Trump‘s Republican running-mate, has found himself at the centre of an absolutely bonkers media frenzy involving rumours he *checks notes* had sex with a couch? Uhhh what?
JD Vance hasn’t even had the role of Trump’s running-mate for two weeks, and he’s already copped a tonne of media attention due to his historic comments about Trump in his 2016 book, Hillbilly Elegy.
Though the book may have shot him into notoriety in the wake of Trump’s presidential election, it’s also been a double-edged sword for Vance in his own election.
Because if there’s anything people love about books — it’s not reading them.
Where did the rumour that JD Vance fucked a couch come from?
Sure, Hillbilly Elegy may only be 272 pages long, but I sure as hell ain’t reading it. And it’s that “hell no” attitude toward reading that allows rumours about the actual content of the book to spread and flourish.
Including one such claim that blew up on X (formerly Twitter) that said in the book JD Vance admitted to having sex with a couch.
Over various tweets and posts shared to the social media site, the rumour that Vance had self-admitted to getting freaky with some furniture seemed to have found a life of its own, unburdened by the bore of fact checking.
And just like other hilarious rumours about politicians — a certain Engadine Legend springs to mind — everyone wants to know if it is true. So is it???
Did JD Vance say he fucked a couch in his book?
Absolutely not!
An official fact-check by the Associated Press (AP) quickly confirmed that though there are 10 references to couches in his book, in none of them does JD Vance recount having sex with one.
If I’m JD Vance, I’m less worried that someone made up the couch fucking thing than I am about the fact that a sizable plurality of people got one look at me and decided that I have couch fucker vibes.
— Evan DeSimone (@Smorgasboredom) July 25, 2024
Which should have been the last page in the story… but it wasn’t.
After AP posted its fact-check where it claimed loudly: “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch,” people began to realise a curious technicality.
Technically… AP can’t have fact checked for that specific fact.
What AP fact checked was whether Vance had claimed to have sex with a couch in his book.
However the question of “did JD Vance fuck a couch” remains completely in the air, given that he could technically have had sex with a couch, and left it out of his book.
And so ensues all the fun of proving a negative.
Because can JD Vance or AP prove he did NOT have sex with a couch? No.
And it is for that reason that AP were forced to remove their initial fact check, because it did not meet the standard of their journalistic practises.
So what’s the deal? Did JD Vance have sex with a couch?
It is most likely that JD Vance has not had sex with a couch, futon, or lounge.
But you can’t say for certain that he hasn’t?
With no more certainty that I can say that he hasn’t also fucked a car exhaust pipe.
Will he?
Whatever happens between Vance and his couch is for them to know, and me to never want to hear about.
And that’s enough US politics for one day. Bye.
[Image: Getty]
The post JD Vance Couch Sex: How A Rumour Trump’s VP Got Freaky With A Futon Broke The Net (& Journalism) appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
