The penis has got a mind of its own, or so it’s said. Taking that idea one further, this juvenile low-budget British comedy gives a penis a voice, too. And a name: Jack. The thing is, if you go to the bother of giving a speaking role to a penis in a comedy, it really does need to be a funny talking penis, and poor Jack gets only a handful of so-so gags.
At the start of the film, Jack (voiced by director Pelayo de Lario) introduces us to his “human male”. This is Charlie (Luke Rollason), a third-year university student living at home with his mum and dad in suburban London. Charlie is desperate for a girlfriend (“Danny DeVito’s hairy left testicle pulls more than you,” jokes a mate). Charlie’s major crush is Canadian student Barbie (Angela Sant’Albano). But she thinks he’s gay following a spectacularly unhilarious misunderstanding. The acting in places feels comparable to a deodorant advert.
There are a couple of funny scenes in the office of Mr Hand, the university’s gorgeous, brooding counsellor, who’s Spanish. (“He’s like Javier Bardem and Antonio Banderas had a baby who became a psychologist,” swoons Jack the penis.) The running joke is that Mr Hand gives straight male students a hard-on. I confess this made me giggle; not much else did. And the talking willy device is annoyingly inconsistent. Jack chats to another penis in one scene – but not any others. Vaginas don’t get a look in. Clearly I’m not the target audience here. But even so, the quota of knob gags is decidedly underwhelming. And another thing: why do we only ever see Jack pixelated? For a film about a penis, this is teatime-telly coy.
• Jack is released on 23 January on digital platforms.
