Most people would feel they had enough on their plate training for between two to seven hours a day to maintain the peak physical condition required to be a world-class diver — Britain’s most decorated, who became a double world champion, aged 15.
But not Tom Daley. What has the 27-year-old sportsman decided to do in his downtime? Take part in a Red Nose Day challenge for Comic Relief. Nothing major: just a four-day, 269-mile feat of human endurance that will see him rowing, swimming, cycling and running from London to his home town of Plymouth. “It’s quite a lot,” he concedes, with understatement. Stand up, Tom Daley, and claim your medal for Britain’s Most High Achieving Human. You can add it to the Olympic gold and three bronzes you already have.
Yes, while you’re busy feasting on your M&S Love Sausage washed down with a bottle of plonk, Daley will be spending his Valentine’s Day somewhat differently, rowing from London’s Aquatic Centre to Tower Bridge. From there, he will cycle 60 miles to the Redgrave Pinsent Rowing Lake. There’s no chance of a romantic dinner with Dustin Lance Black (aka Lance), his husband of five years. The following day, he’s up early for a bracing open water 1,000 metre swim, before cycling 56 miles to Southampton.
Presumably he’s already a keen amateur cyclist? “I’ve never cycled before,” he smiles. “I mean, I’ve used the odd Boris Bike, but that’s it.” Don’t mistake him for an experienced rower, either. “I’d never done any rowing on water before,” he shrugs. “I’ve now had six sessions on water, but that’s it.” Marathon running? “Never ran more than 10K in my life.” Now might also be a good time to mention that he’s scared of open water. “It freaks me out about what’s underneath. Is there a fish that’s going to come and eat me?”
That he has only been training for nine weeks would also be cause for concern if you were anyone but gung-ho Tom. “I’ve had a lot of great advice, and a great team of trainers that have helped me,” he says modestly. “I wouldn’t recommend everyone tries to do an ultra-marathon in nine weeks.”
Has he learned anything about himself? “I’ve learned that the body is extremely capable of adapting to things very quickly.”
The mental health benefits of cold water swimming are well documented: the mental health benefits of knitting, less so. At last summer’s Olympics, Daley became a knit-fluencer after pictures of him knitting at the Games went viral (the cream Team GB cardi was a fan favourite). Tom being Tom, what started as a hobby has turned into a mini-empire, and in December he launched a line of knitting kits.
“Knitting started as my form of mindfulness, but now I’m obsessed. I carry it everywhere.” His current project is a red hat to wear during his Comic Relief challenge. “And these little Red Nose covers.” He fishes in his rucksack and produces some neat red crochet circles. “They’re for people who come and support me along the way. I’ll be throwing them as I go.”
Daley can count on the support of his husband. He met director and screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, 47, in LA in 2013, saying it was love at first sight. Daley came out the same year, a rarity among professional sports people. Married since 2017, they welcomed their son, Robert Ray, in 2018. “He’s into everything. Dinosaurs and trucks mainly, and running around causing havoc.” He hasn’t yet discovered dad’s gold medal, which is kept in a trophy cabinet in the kitchen. “I don’t think he understands what it is. But it’s exciting to think he was alive to watch it happen, because in all my past Olympics I didn’t have my son. He might not have any memories of it, but he was there to be part of it.”
He says the most challenging part of parenthood is “that constant feeling of wanting to do the best you can for them, because everything you say and do is going to have an impact on their development.” Daley claims that he’s the stricter dad. “I thought it was going to be the other way round. Being an athlete, structure and routine are my everyday, so I found that very easy to do, whereas Lance is a creative artist type who’ll go with the flow.”
Daley was awarded an OBE last month, pledging to help make the Commonwealth a better place for LGBTQ+ people, women and people of colour. He has used his platform to call for countries that have death penalties for LGBTQ+ people to be banned from the Olympics. “This country is moving in the right direction compared to some. It’s important that LGBT history is taught in schools. People growing up today might not understand how different it used to be, or that the rest of the world is so far behind [the UK]; that in some countries you’re still incarcerated, and [being gay is] completely illegal.”
Between training, activism, knitting and parenthood, he finds time for the odd night out. Last week he presented an award at the Brits, dressed head to toe in Louis Vuitton, from the brand’s womenswear collection. “The womenswear just fits me so much better. But men’s boots, because they didn’t have my size in women’s.” But he didn’t stay and party. “I was home by 10pm, watching Drag Race.”
I ask what he made of Adele’s acceptance speech upon winning Artist of the Year, a new category that replaced Best Male and Best Female artist (the singer said she understood why the name of the award had been changed, but added that she “really loves being a woman”, and “really loves being a female artist.”)
“I think it’s best to do a completely gender neutral category. It’s about being inclusive of everyone. At the end of the day, out of a whole genderless category, Adele won. Gender is a social construct anyway, so just get rid of it. Just talk about the talent of the person, and not worry about anything else.”
He says he’s glad that the younger generation has reclaimed the word “queer”, and seem less inclined to label themselves. “I think it’s really cool to see how everyone’s putting their pronouns on their email chains, and on Instagram. I also think it’s important to start addressing people [differently] at events. Instead of ‘ladies and gentlemen…’ start using more gender neutral terms like ‘Hello, everyone’. There are still certain groups that don’t understand pronouns. Older, straight white men in particular find it difficult.”
And while romance might not be on the menu tonight, love is still very much in the air for the doting couple. “Every week in lockdown we did a date night, where we each took turns to cook a three-course meal. We’d get dressed up, and the one who wasn’t cooking dinner would do the bath and bedtime routine with Robbie.” His signature dish? “A jalapeno cornbread with fried eggs on top, spicy chipotle mayo and avocado slices.” And Lance’s? “Lance can cook, but I don’t often let him. He’s great at the barbecue, but other than that, he loves to cook things that are Southern American and deep fried. Chicken and mashed potatoes with all the butter — not the healthiest food.”
Maybe not, but it’s the perfect dish to eat after a gruelling four-day challenge such as his. Get cooking, Lance.
