WHAT on earth is Boris Johnson on about? That question has once again proved irritatingly relevant.
Instead of disappearing from public view once he was finally forced from office, the UK’s disgraced former prime minister has been jetting around the world pretending he’s still on top.
Among the people humouring him is, unsurprisingly, his faithful guard dog Nadine Dorries.
Dorries had Johnson onto her debut TalkTV show, which was broadcast on Friday night.
The former Tory leader faced a flurry of difficult questions about the ongoing investigation into whether he deliberately lied to parliament and the devastating effects on Brexit on the UK after three years.
Wait, of course he didn’t.
Instead, the theatre of Dorries’s show descended into comic farce as Johnson showed off about his knowledge of cows. Yes, cows.
EXCLUSIVE: Boris Johnson reveals he is attempting to master painting cows.🐄 "I’m getting there, next stop the horse after that."🐎@NadineDorries | @BorisJohnson
— TalkTV (@TalkTV) February 3, 2023
He said: "At the moment I've got a project, which is to master the form of the cow. Cows are actually far more difficult to draw than you think.
“How many toes on the front does a cow have? It's two, and they've got a little thing on the heel.
“And what do you call that bit [pointing to his upper back] of the cow? I think it's called the withers.
“What do you call the back of the knee of the cow? The hock... They repay a lot of study. So, I'm filling a book now with cow.
“Pictures of parts of cows, and a lot of whole cows and my objective is to master the cow. I'm getting there. Next stop the horse after that.”
The bizarre segment raised one question in the Jouker’s mind: what exactly is Boris Johnson trying to hide?
In the past, when Johnson has gone on similar weirdly specific rants about niche topics, there has been a clear benefit for him from search engine results.
In one example, he claimed to like building model buses – which changed the Google results for “Boris Johnson bus” to something NOT about that famous lie on the side of the big red Brexit bus.
In another, he spouted off about a bridge between Scotland and Ireland. It meant that search results for “Boris Johnson bridge” no longer brought up news of the failed Garden Bridge project that cost the taxpayer £43 million and delivered nothing.
And in a third, he went on and on about Tim Tams – changing the results for “Boris Johnson Tim” just after his former adviser Tim Montgomerie wrote a damning indictment of his time in Johnson’s Downing Street.
So could this fourth attempt really be a coincidence, or is Johnson trying to cover something up?
Before the interview with Nadine Dorries (and indeed afterwards) typing “Boris Johnson cows” into Google brings up the suggestion for “Boris Johnson cows burping”.
Both searches lead quickly to articles about Johnson telling children “we could feed humans to animals” in an effort to fight climate change.
The whole thing is frankly bizarre.
