Irish social media star Trisha Lewis has opened up about her battle with a gambling addiction that left her wanting to "jump into the river outside the casino most weekends".
The Cork born chef and author is best known for her Instagram content on her page ‘Trisha’s Transformation', where she has documented her weight loss journey over the past few years.
Taking to the social media platform last night, the well-known online personality revealed that she has also been working on another life transformation in the background, as she opened up about her struggle with a gambling addiction for many years.
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In a statement, Trisha, who boasts over 224,000 followers online, wrote: “Probably a part of my life I never thought I would tell but here goes. Like everyone I have a past and part of my past is that I am addicted to gambling.
“Even writing this my head tells me ‘no you just like cards and kinda lost money.’
“It’s amazing the power of that inner voice has.”
“A part of my life before Trisha’s transformation is in fact that I lost everything I had in the casino time and time again.
“For all of my 20’s I played in the casino nearly 7 nights of the week, Christmas Eve, NYE it didn’t matter if it was open I went.”
“It was my safe place and the place where I could self-destruct a life I didn’t really like,” she added.
She said the damage it did to her mental health was ‘terrifying’ as she candidly told of the depths of despair she reached during her addiction.
“My gambling addiction was a slow burner that ended on a crescendo where I wanted to jump into the river outside the casino most weekends.
“Writing that hurts my heart but it is the truth. The damage it did on my mental health was terrifying.”
“I couldn’t see a way out and all I wanted was to be normal. My weight for me was a huge factor. The casino was the only place I felt accepted. The only place I could socialise on a Saturday night without being laughed at.”
“My gambling addiction started from loneliness and continued with an addiction that I battled for years.”
“I continued on with my career and only my very inner circle started to see cracks as I was slowly losing myself and asking for loans more often.
Trisha said she feels ready to tell her story now as she has come out the other side.
“And I’m no longer embarrassed to say it,” Trisha added.
“I’m no longer afraid when I get a DM saying that someone’s boyfriend knows me from poker. It’s no longer something I blame myself for.”
Reflecting on her own recovery, she said lockdown was a big time of change for her.
“Lockdown for me finally stopped the card playing and for that I am grateful," she said.
“I started therapy in lockdown as I felt my head was beginning to get down again and I went to see a therapist on gambling and binge eating.”
“Through every session I began to understand where my addiction has come from and Helen gave me tools that are invaluable for me to avoid this happening me again.”
“Credit cards, loans, waiting for 12am on a Friday night to get paid while sitting in the casino were all part of my life in the past and to see me now jogging around the place brings tears to my eyes.”
“I am finally free. I have transformed my life in so many ways,” she wrote.
Trisha said she marked a huge milestone in her recovery this year with a family trip to Amsterdam, after missing it the time before in the height of her struggles with gambling.
She explained: “This year as we went to Amsterdam with my family I hugged my mother because the last Amsterdam trip I had booked with all of the Jacobs gang didn’t happen for me. I went to the casino the night before it and lost every cent I had and ignored all the calls pretending I had slept in.”
“So to go finally and be happy with my family was incredible. Surreal.”
By opening up about her own battle, the influencer is also hoping to encourage others who need help not to be ashamed and to break the “taboo shameful secret”.
“I know that me having a page with a following means that I have to be a cool blogger now and I guess I don’t see this very often online but it’s part of my past and my story and I am no longer ashamed of myself, I’m proud of my strength and resilience and for sticking around when the going got rough.”
“If gambling stays a taboo shameful secret it will always win. I am always going to have this addiction but knowledge is power. I can not tell you how different my life is.”
“From begging to be barred at the casino to now running around the place and taking on challenges I know I can win – life couldn’t be more different.”
“Losing money gave me a numbness of the pain my head was in. I ended up owing a lot of money and I woke every day for years with a worry that crushed my chest.”
Trisha concluded her statement saying: “I can’t help you but what I can tell you is ask for help. Tell someone because it can be stopped. Google gambling addiction help Ireland asap and start fresh.”
“You do not have to fight this fear alone. No matter how bad the damage is nothing is worse than you not being here. Don’t let gambling win. For the first time ever let it lose.”
Trisha's friends and followers rushed to support her under the candid post and praised her for her bravery.
Fitness coach and influencer Siobhan O'Hagan said: "Trisha, you never fail to amaze me with your strength. I’m so happy you are free."
Presenter turned podcaster Georgie Crawford added: "Trisha you are making such a difference in the world. Keep being you. You are so loved xxxxxxxx"
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