Trigger warning: Mentions of extreme misogyny, sexual harassment and queerphobia.
At the age of 12, Chithra’s (name changed) son called his father a “beta” male.
Her husband had spent the day helping his family prepare an elaborate sadhya (feast) for Onam, smugly pointing out at the dining table that the mango curry was “all him”. Those at the table soon broke into a mock argument over who made what, but his son let out a snort of derision.
“This is nothing to be proud of, acha (father). You are being a beta,” the 12-year-old said.
A ‘beta male’, in internet slang, refers to a man perceived as weaker, more submissive, and less assertive than the dominant ‘alpha male,’ according to the pseudoscientific theory of male dominance hierarchy.
“We were really caught off guard,” Chithra told me.
The incident occurred more than two years ago, when the trio was spending Onam with their family in Kerala’s Kollam.
“We didn’t want to jump on him with a lecture on gender stereotypes and embarrass him in front of his cousins,” she said. “When we spoke to him later in private, he quickly apologised to my husband. He said he had learned the term from a YouTube video and that he was only joking. He also promised that he would never disrespect his father again.”
Over the next few months, however, Chithra noticed slow but sure changes in her son’s behaviour, his negativities now directed more towards her than his father. “I had lost my job during the layoffs that followed the Covid-19 pandemic, and my son seemed upset that I was looking for a new one. He never told me why, but he would start showing irritation every time I brought up the topic. He also seemed to find pleasure in mocking me if I made a slip of the tongue or forgot something, making comments like ‘female brain,’ but framing it as a joke.”
Chithra said she put a lot of this down to him simply being a teenager. “But we have raised our son with a lot of love and care,” she said. “So it was disturbing when it suddenly started to feel as if he didn’t like me much anymore.”
It wasn’t until much later, during a parent-teacher conference at her son’s school, that Chithra realised his concerning behaviour had begun to extend beyond home. His teacher had informed her that several boys in the school, her son among them, have frequently been pulled up for making sexist and inappropriate comments towards girls and female teachers. The teens were apparently influenced and inspired by a controversial online personality named Andrew Tate, a British-American influencer infamous for his extreme misogyny.
In what has become a growing global concern, Tate is now recognised as a gateway for young men and boys into a potentially dangerous online ecosystem known as the ‘manosphere’, luring them in with ‘motivational’ speeches and, over time, negatively shaping their attitudes towards womenkind and progressive gender roles.
Over the past few months, I have scoured manosphere-related subreddits, 4chan forums, and X (formerly Twitter) profiles, interacting with several self-described misogynists and ‘incels’. I spoke to boys and young men who are yet to realise they are beginning to hate women, others who have left these hateful ideologies behind, and parents, teachers, and academics across India who are left baffled as to why these young boys have abruptly developed strong misogynistic beliefs.
What I realised is that while Tate himself has a huge following in India, young Indian boys are also being drawn into misogyny by several regional versions of these influencers – ranging from the Elvish Yadavs and the Lakshay Chaudharys of the north to abusive video game YouTubers such as ‘Thoppi’ in the south.
In this article, we’ll explore the profound impact figures like Tate have had on the psyche of many young men in India, how this hatred takes on ‘local flavours’ online, and why teenagers are so susceptible to these ideologies. Finally, we’ll discuss potential solutions to address this growing concern.
In November last year, a 14-year-old boy studying at a prominent school in Bengaluru told me that Tate was being “deadass serious” with his remarks on women being subservient to men. “There is never a time when a man and woman will be equal. They both have different energies and they can never be one. Tate specifically says that men should focus on making money and taking care of women, while women are meant to take care of their children and their houses.”
He also added, quite proudly, that he was homophobic. “I don’t like gays and lesbians. It’s pretty much the same concept Andrew Tate follows.”
Most adults who are detached from this online sphere would tend to scoff at Tate, dismissing him as a “crazy man on the internet” with outrageous views. But it is crucial to recognise that Tate is merely a symptom of a much larger issue. He is just one of many faces in a sprawling online ecosystem of ‘manfluencers’ who profit off young men’s anxieties by posing as their ‘saviours’, promoting a distorted brand of masculinity and a return to traditional gender roles as the unilateral solution to their problems.
What is the ‘manosphere’?
As defined by the Cambridge dictionary, the manosphere is a set of websites and internet discussion groups that are concerned with men’s interests and rights as opposed to women’s, often connected with “opposition to feminism” or “dislike of women”.
In her book Men Who Hate Women: The Extremism Nobody is Talking About, English feminist writer Laura Bates explains that the manosphere is not a monolithic entity, but “an interconnected spectrum of different but related groups, each with their own belief systems, lexicons, and forms of indoctrination”.
These communities’ content goes far beyond the well-known public figures associated with it, spanning from extreme misogyny in so-called ‘incel’ (involuntarily celibate) forums to more mainstream sexist content that reduces men and women to traditional gender roles in dating advice videos.
India’s own examples of the manosphere range from influencers such as self-proclaimed dating coach Abhishek Singh (142K followers on Instagram) – who casually munches on a half-finished sandwich as he tells the camera, “If she is not making sandwiches for you, why are you in a relationship with her?” – to the virulent anti-feminist hatred and coordinated gendered disinformation campaigns on platforms such as X and Reddit. Many of them describe themselves as resisting progressive or ‘woke’ ideas about gender equality, often distorting biology and evolution theories to claim that restrictive gender norms are “natural”. The common thread here is the belief that men are the new ‘oppressed class’, with women and feminism blamed for men’s perceived disadvantage.
But this is just the internet, one may think. Surely extremism is common on the internet, but that doesn’t mean it’s ‘real’?
Stories like that of Elliot Rodger – a 22-year-old English-American man who killed six people in a stabbing and shooting spree in California in May 2014 – represent a different reality. Elliot was arguably the first among a handful of ‘incels’ who have gone on killing rampages worldwide, claiming to have acted to “exact revenge on society,” which he believed had “denied” him the sex and love he deserved as the “ideal magnificent gentleman.”
Several copycat crimes have since been recorded that appear to be directly inspired by Elliot’s killing spree. In 2018, a man named Alek Minassian drove a van into a crowd in Toronto, killing 10 people and injuring at least 15 others. Alek, who identified as an incel, cited Elliot in his social media posts, praising his actions and echoing the same feelings of rejection and resentment. Similarly, other violent incidents, including stabbings and shootings, have been linked to the incel ideology and Elliot’s manifesto, with perpetrators often citing his beliefs as a justification for their actions.
Incidentally, much of the incel violence around the world closely mirrors certain patterns of crime already seen in India. For instance, incidents of acid attacks on women by men who feel rejected or slighted are prevalent in the country. It is also common in India to hear of men publicly stabbing women or setting them on fire for similar reasons, though we are yet to officially label these cases as acts of misogynist extremism.
During my interactions, I came to realise that an unquantifiable yet significant section of the incel ecosystem accepts and idealises acts like Elliot Rodger’s. A man I spoke to on X, spicy_since_99 (username changed to protect identity), who introduced himself to me as an Indian living in the US, was convinced that I had read about incels from all the wrong websites. “Let me show you a real incel,” he said, sharing a video titled Elliot Rodger: Patron Saint of Incels.
“Incels want true love; they don’t want to subjugate women. But hatred due to rejection might make them do [what Elliot did],” he said.
A cursory look at his X profile showed him lashing out at women internet users with little provocation, calling people “fat” and telling women that they “should not be having sex with that face.” He had also made several pointedly misogynistic assertions on his timeline, including that “most women have the depth of a puddle,” that “women’s only real agency is their sexuality,” and that they are “incapable of any high level rational thought across religions and regions.”
In my DMs, he said that women make bad choices because they all think with their “lizard brains.” He also demanded that I “fix” my skin, before stating that I was a “normie” and a “mediocre IQ social activist type.”
spicy_since_99, notably, had also introduced himself to me as a “follower of Andrew Tate.”
So, who is Andrew Tate?
Before rising to online fame and being dubbed the “king of toxic masculinity,” Emory Andrew Tate was a professional kickboxer, and a four-time world champion at that. In 2016, he became a contestant on the British reality show Big Brother, but was removed from the show after just six days, following the emergence of a video in which he appeared to attack a woman with a belt. Tate has since claimed that the clip was edited.
This expulsion also marked a turning point in his career, setting the stage for his rise as a divisive internet personality. Tate used the incident to position himself as a victim of mainstream media and “cancel culture”, while carefully crafting and embodying a brand of chauvinistic masculinity to project as his internet persona.
Over the years, as his fandom grew and his commentary became increasingly polarising, Tate began marketing himself as a man who had figured out how to succeed. His content often combined motivational life advice with boastful displays of luxury, sprinkled with an unhealthy dose of hyper-masculine and misogynistic views. Eventually, his loyal followers came to see him as an authority on “what it means to be a man”.
Tate’s inflammatory posts were also deliberately designed to provoke reactions and manipulate social media algorithms, further fuelling his virality. He has said on record, among other things, that women who have been raped should “bear some responsibility,” “virgins are the only acceptable thing to marry”, and that women who do not want children are “miserable, stupid b***hes”.
By around 2019, the self-anointed ‘alpha male’ had become a role model for millions of young men across the globe, who bought into the problematic worldview he projected as the ‘truth pill’.
Due to his extreme misogynistic views, Tate has now been banned from multiple major social media platforms, including Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube and Twitch.
But the controversy surrounding Tate is not just about his outrageous rhetoric. In December 2022, he was arrested in Romania on serious charges of human trafficking, rape, and organised crime. He, along with his brother Tristan Tate and two other associates, is facing trial and was under house arrest for five months for allegedly operating a network that exploited women to create pornography and engage in sex work.
Tate has also made several racist remarks about Indians, once stating that he would let his daughters do anything besides marry a “dirty” Indian. He was also criticised for a racist comment he made on a video in which Punjabi rockstar Diljit Dosanjh was seen gifting his jacket to a fan. “Bet it stinks of curry,” Tate wrote.
None of this, however, has made a dent in Tate’s dedicated fandom even in India, mostly consisting of young men and boys in their teens and twenties. His fans either do not believe the allegations against him, or dismiss them as part of a broader narrative designed to ‘silence’ him or attack his views.
During our conversation, spicy_since_99 admitted that Tate often “puts on a personality”. However, when the serious criminal charges against Tate were pointed out, he claimed he did not believe that Tate had committed any crime.
“Pimping is not a crime,” he said.
Of course, incel communities are among the more extreme and controversial corners of the manosphere, and they do not represent the ecosystem as a whole. One can’t, hence, be faulted for dismissing opinions like those of spicy_since_99 as outliers.
However, when it comes to Tate, curiously, several young boys we spoke to offline – who neither identified as incels nor seemed to overtly harbour any ill will towards the womenkind – tended to parrot similar opinions. The 14-year-old schoolboy from Bengaluru told us that Tate “only spoke the truth” and was banned from all platforms because he was influencing millions of people in the right way, which the “higher powers” didn’t like. He also believed that Tate’s criminal charges were mere tactics to silence him.
A Reddit user, who told me he was 16 and from Hebbal in Bengaluru, echoed similar ideas about Tate and other ‘manfluencers’ such as American podcaster Joe Rogan. However, he balked at the idea of being called an incel. “There is nothing more uncool than being an incel. Who would willingly admit that they are a virgin?”
The high school ‘alphas’
Around April 2023, a video began circulating online of a high school boy from a western country calling himself an “alpha” and confronting his teacher for allegedly punishing him in class. “I’ve had enough of this. This punishment stuff is going to stop,” the student tells the teacher with a dramatic wave of his hand.
As the teacher, seated in the front of the classroom, calmly tells him that he can’t tell him what to do, the student seems to grow agitated, claiming, “I am now the alpha.”
“The alpha takes priority over the teacher,” he says. “The alpha takes priority over anyone. Do you not know how that works? The alpha doesn’t have to listen…”
The consequences of Andrew Tate on students has been unprecedented pic.twitter.com/eOB5LIAMho
— Right Wing Cope (@RightWingCope) April 2, 2023
The origin of the video is unknown, but the sentiment it evoked was universal. Teachers world over raised concerns about how teenage, and even preteen, boys are idolising Tate and adopting his projected beliefs, which border on a dangerous delusion. Even in India, the manosphere-speak has gradually but definitively begun seeping into the everyday conversations of schoolboys, some as young as eight or nine years old.
In fact, when I first shared a post on X, asking if people were familiar with young men or boys who subscribe to extreme internet misogyny, most of those who reached out were concerned tutors and parents of young schoolgirls.
Riya, who took English tuitions for Class 12 students in Kolkata, recalled her experience with a former student who harboured a deep admiration for Andrew Tate. “When countered with logical facts, he didn’t respond to me kindly. He was hell-bent on proving Tate’s superiority to me,” she said.
She apparently had to explain to him, for example, that women are in no way responsible for their sexual abuse, and that they are not just defined by their ability to be a wife or cook for the family. “But he tended to dismiss everything I told him. He also told me that he found Andrew Tate’s version more fitting to his worldview because his mother was such a woman.”
When Riya met the 17-year-old’s mother, however, she seemed very different from the image he had painted of her. “She was hardly the aggressively conservative and traditional woman her son claimed she was. She was actually a woman who wanted to work and earn money for herself, but never ended up having the means to do so.”
Riya said her conversations with this boy made her realise how deep this online indoctrination runs. “He was a really good student who scored well in his ICSE Class 12 exams as well. So it’s especially surprising when young boys such as him watch people like Andrew Tate and start hailing them as heroes and role models,” she said. She further pointed out that these boys also end up developing a heightened sense of ego because of these videos, which make them believe that they are superior just because they are male.
Amit, another X user from Madhya Pradesh’s Indore, directed me to his 14-year-old daughter Adya, who had shared with him the concerning behaviour of some of the boys in her class.
Over a call, the young girl explained to me the evolving nature of ‘masculinity’ among the boys in her own classroom and even some of her juniors. “Andrew Tate is a very popular figure among them, but their discussions surrounding him have been primarily about stuff like ‘getting rich’,” said Adya.
Among Tate’s fundamental tenets is the principle that a man must be rich to fully adopt the characteristics of an ‘alpha’ male, for which they must reject conventional thinking and take “bold, calculated risks.” He has also introduced several online courses promoting such ‘get rich quick’ schemes on his website, Hustler’s University, which critics allege are money-grabbing business ventures.
“But that’s fine, everyone has their own aspirations,” Adya said. “The bigger concern is that they also don’t think beyond what this man says or even try to form their own opinions. They think Andrew Tate is rich and therefore being rich is cool, but will completely excuse the fact that he was arrested for human trafficking. They do not even deny the credibility behind these accusations.”
After he was banned across major social media platforms, it is relatively harder to access Tate’s content these days. But that has hardly diminished his popularity, Adya said. “Even now, if I bring up these allegations against him, they’ll fight to the death to defend him,” she said.
According to Adya, some of the boys now follow another misogynistic podcast called ‘Fresh & Fit’, hosted by Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes. Gaines is the author of the controversial book Why Women Deserve Less. “These men often invite women who make content for platforms like OnlyFans, only to put them on the spot and humiliate them on the podcast,” she said. OnlyFans is an online platform where creators share exclusive, often adult-oriented, content with paying subscribers.
The podcast has also hosted white supremacists such as Nick Fuentes, who stated on the platform that women are “baby machines” because “that’s what their brains are about”. Nick also denied the Holocaust took place on the podcast, claiming that he “did not believe” six million Jews were killed in death camps under Nazi Germany.
Localising online misogyny
It is hardly a revelation that much of India, like most societies, is staunchly patriarchal. This is reflected in how a large section of Indians continue to favour traditional gender roles in both family life and career, with just about 32.8 percent of the female population participating in the country’s labour force, compared to 77.2 percent of males. It is also visible in the ever increasing rate of violence against women across the private, public, and cyber spaces in India, continuing to severely impact their sense of safety and ability to engage fully in public life.
In fact, according to data from the National Crime Records Bureau, up to 4,26,433 cases of violence against women were reported in the year 2022 alone, marking a 4 percent increase from the previous year. The country has long witnessed violent crimes directed at women by men who simply felt disrespected or rejected.
Given all the data, one might wonder if there really is scope for a male victimhood ecosystem to grow in such a deeply patriarchal society, where feminism is yet to make a significant dent. Even spicy_since_99 was of the opinion that there is “absolutely no reason” for an Indian man in India to be an incel. He is an incel only in the US, not in India.
“India is too patriarchal, so being an incel doesn’t make sense,” he said, while at the same time expressing concern that India was adopting “worse characteristics from western nations” rather than the good ones.
One such curious feature unique to the Indian manosphere is that it consistently denounces the ‘westernisation’ of Indian women while ironically almost entirely co-opting the western brand of traditional masculinity.
Hrushikesh, a lawyer and journalist from Maharashtra, shared how he lost a close friend to the manosphere. The friend began watching Tate videos a few years ago. Despite being called out on it by Hrushikesh and others, the friend continued to watch them in secret.
“His then partner had told me about this. She also told me his behaviour changed, that it became more toxic. His relationship with her also deteriorated, as he became too dominating, making her work like a housewife. I started maintaining distance from him a year ago, but I recently got to know that he cheated on his partner,” Hrushikesh said, noting that his friend often mocked him for being the ‘feminist type’.
A recent viral video showed an Indian boy, no older than 10, staring aggressively at the camera and delivering the words, “Your ancestors can defeat the lion, but you are ruining your life for a hoe.” One of the pinned comments under the video claimed that this was a “recreation” of a video by Andrew Tate.
Another pinned comment, likely written in response to severe criticism from viewers, appealed to the audience to “understand the context” of the video. “Cmon guys, I mean [OnlyFans] girls here, not every woman. Every woman must be respected, except those who make millions of guys lose their life (sic),” the comment – presumably from the child – reads.
It is unclear whether the child is merely the face of the Instagram page or actually manages it.
Notably, at young ages, it is typical for children to develop a disdain towards whom they perceive as the ‘opposite sex’, primarily because they are yet to develop the emotional maturity to engage with them in a more complex or positive way. This behaviour is often influenced by cultural norms, peer pressure, and the idea that boys and girls are ‘supposed’ to act or relate to each other in certain ways. This attitude, however, is typically temporary, and as children grow and mature, they mostly move past these negativities and begin forming more nuanced relationships.
But when children have unfettered access to social media, they might start idealising influencers who engage in misogynistic and queerphobic commentary. Due to this, distances between genders are likely to further solidify, making it harder for young boys to develop healthy relationships with girls and women or people of other genders.
A case in point is the ‘Thoppi’ phenomenon that unfolded in Kerala in 2023, when the state was taken by surprise to witness hundreds of little boys skipping school and gathering at a public event, solely to catch a glimpse of an influencer named Mohamed Nihad aka ‘Thoppi’, a YouTuber, online gamer, and rapper. Often described as the Malayalam ripoff of American YouTuber IShowSpeed, Thoppi gained his massive following (9.18 lakh subscribers) with his YouTube videos, which mostly feature him playing games like PUBG and often making lewd and sexually charged remarks about women. He famously goes into intense rages during his streams, sometimes even breaking his keyboard into two.
When asked what appealed to them most about Thoppi, his little fans at the event, some of whom were in Classes 7 and 8, said they loved him despite the abusive language he uses, and sometimes because of it. A few proudly called Thoppi a “sigma”, claiming that the way the YouTuber “avoids” and “hates women” was especially appealing to them.
A ‘sigma male’, in manosphere-speak, refers to a man who is often seen as independent, self-reliant, and outside the traditional social hierarchy. They are typically portrayed as having a detached or indifferent attitude toward women, especially in comparison to more traditional, ‘alpha’ males, who might seek validation through relationships or dominance over women.
At the time, a school teacher in Kerala had written extensively on Facebook about the troubling behaviour he witnessed among his students, many of whom followed Thoppi on YouTube. He observed that these boys – more than just a few – were becoming increasingly abusive and reckless towards teachers and classmates. After watching one of Thoppi’s live streams, the teacher criticised its content, noting it included slut-shaming, body-shaming, and comments objectifying women.
Thoppi’s influence on his very young followers reflects a pattern that has recurred across the manosphere, as is evidenced by another disturbing viral video featuring a prominent ‘manfluencer’ in the US, Nico ‘Sneako’ De Balinthazy, in an interaction with his ‘fans’.
The video features a young kid, presumably a Sneako fan, shouting, “Andrew Tate! F**k the women! F**k the women!”
Sneako looks rather taken aback in the clip, letting out an uncomfortable laugh and asking, “What? No, no, no, wait, we love women, we love women!”
“But not, like, transgenders (sic),” the child responds, looking up at Sneako as if seeking his approval. As Sneako tries to say that “we love everybody”, another child chimes in to say “f**k gays” and “all gays should die”.
A bemused Sneako is left staring at the camera, asking, “What have I done?”
sneako finally realizes he got himself in a bubble with his red pill content pic.twitter.com/enVlvMBAlz
— FearBuck (@FearedBuck) September 17, 2023
The video received widespread backlash, with many pointing out that Sneako’s reaction to the kids failed to properly address the severity of their remarks.
Sneako, however, went on to shift the blame on the media and LGBTQ+ inclusive education, adopting a dismissive “boys will be boys” attitude. He later reposted the video on X to defend the young fans’ comments, writing, “They are children and obviously joking. This is how I was at 12. But If it sounds egregious to you, blame the [Pride] flags in their classrooms. Blame the media for emasculating men. Its YOUR fault for forcing an obvious agenda. Not these kids. BOYS WILL BE BOYS (sic).”
Thoppi, to his credit, has at least clarified that his videos were never meant for children to watch. He also once made a video reacting to a young boy imitating him, watching which he seemed flabbergasted, stating that he had set his YouTube content to “not meant for kids”, and that any responsibility for his content reaching children lay with their parents.
Over the past year, Thoppi has moved away from the spotlight and the frequency of his content has also decreased. However, new Thoppis continue to mushroom across the country, considering how people who resort to abuse on social media often end up dominating social media algorithms and gaining significant followings.
Researchers have found that algorithms used by social media platforms are “rapidly amplifying extreme misogynistic content”, presenting harmful content as entertainment. Other such examples from India alone include influencers like Elvish Yadav and Lakshay Choudhary, who often post deeply sexist and abusive content in the name of humour and have built massive followings. Many of them pave the way to the building of smaller and more intimate online communities of radicalised young men, falling further down the rabbit hole of propaganda, now specifically tailored to their own local norms and languages.
Varkey, a former member of the manosphere who reached out via X, said he had started engaging with such content around the age of 16 – an inclination that began with the indignation he felt over the excessive gender and race politicisation of cinema, specifically in Hollywood.
“As someone deeply invested in films, I was very disturbed by this. That’s how I started digging into YouTube to find videos on the subject and ended up on conservative channels such as No Bullshit,” said Varkey, a Thrissur-based medical student.
Eventually, the algorithm began feeding him increasingly polarising content, directing him to more contentious, ultra-conservative media figures like Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson. He came across videos titled ‘feminist cringe compilations’, featuring these men ‘defeating’ gender activists with arguments. “I used to watch those videos with interest. They often discussed how men and women should ideally behave and delved into reasons why gender roles are necessary,” he said.
Varkey noted, however, that he had never been a fan of Andrew Tate, primarily because he already had a preconceived notion that Tate was a “joker”. Even so, Tate frequently appeared on his feed, especially on X. “There were also other similar gender-based tweets being recommended to me, supposedly talking about ‘female psychology’, ‘the sigma male grindset’, or threads asking people to ‘leave a woman if she exhibits these signs’.”
According to Varkey, Kerala started to see a rise in digital men’s rights activism around 2019. “I believe it happened in response to a lot of leftist content that was being peddled on social media, by channels such as the Mallu Analyst and later Unni Vlogs. As is expected, many people also began to counter this on social media. There was a sudden spike in discussions surrounding men’s rights on platforms such as Instagram and the social audio app Clubhouse,” he said, adding that he has listened to Clubhouse discussions where people discussed points on ‘how to debate feminists’.
Varkey said he used to agree with many of the points discussed on these platforms, but one factor that stood out for him was the “blind hatred” exhibited towards feminists and LGBTQIA+ communities. “The debates often missed nuance. You may have valid points to raise, but you need to acknowledge that so would the other side. One thing that attracted me towards (manosphere) content in the first place was the promise of considering all sides of an argument.”
He added that he has now left behind the manosphere, and is more “neutral” in his opinions.
The appeal of the manosphere
The manosphere’s allure, as has been the case with other extreme online communities, primarily lies in the sense of belonging and purpose it offers to youngsters who feel disconnected or disillusioned by mainstream society. It is important to note that while these communities espouse harmful views about women and gender minorities, they also tap into several social and psychological concerns harboured by many young men in today’s society.
For most young men and boys, their entry into the manosphere is not driven by any inherent hatred for women. It is often in search of some clarity and understanding about the world around them, particularly when it comes to navigating relationships. In effect, the core appeal of these communities lies not in their misogyny, but in their promise to provide answers as well as a sense of control and community.
A 2023 study by Australian researcher Joshua Thorburn, titled ‘Exiting the Manosphere’, explored the paths of radicalisation and deradicalisation experienced by former members of the manosphere, drawing on the accounts of users from two subreddits – r/IncelExit and r/ExRedPill – that assist individuals in their exit from these communities.
The study found that many users were initially drawn to the manosphere due to romantic rejection, frustration with their dating lives, and feelings of inadequacy about their masculinity. They often struggled with loneliness and low self-esteem, which were further exacerbated by the manosphere’s narrative of “alpha” and “beta” men.
“For some users, the red pill ideology became appealing after a painful breakup or being cheated on, as these personal struggles were framed by the belief that women are biologically predisposed to cheat or manipulate men,” the study says.
The ‘red pill’, as co-opted by the manosphere from the 1999 sci-fi classic The Matrix, represents an awakening to what followers believe are harsh truths about gender dynamics, including the 80/20 rule, which claims that 80% of women desire just 20% of men.
The study also notes that manosphere narratives could worsen mental distress and reinforce negative self-perceptions such as believing oneself to be unattractive or too emotionally vulnerable to appeal to women. These narratives encourage users to adopt a cold, detached “alpha” persona.
Another common radicalisation pathway, according to the study, “stems from men and boys seeking advice and help for the psychosocial challenges they face online, which led them to manosphere figures who post videos offering motivational, self-help and dating advice to this demographic.” The study adds that such videos “could offer (mis-)guidance to users facing significant personal difficulties.”
In her video essay for The New York Times, ‘Why Toxic Opinions Can Be Appealing to Young Men’, author and journalist Ruth Whippman argues that many boys and young men are feeling increasingly isolated and resentful with their social environment, particularly in the wake of the MeToo movement and evolving gender norms. These young men, she says, find themselves caught between “outdated masculine ideals” promoted by the right on one side, and messages from the left telling them to “take a back seat” on the other.
Psychologists have suggested that with the rise of the feminist movement, these young men are becoming increasingly tired of being ‘blamed’ for a patriarchy they had no role in creating, and for a gendered privilege whose nuances they don’t fully understand. This frustration, they argue, drives them toward figures who offer an alternative narrative and understanding.
Airing his concerns on the subreddit r/malementalhealth, Reddit user dbombs24 (username changed to protect identity) wrote, “When an entire gender is assumed to be bad and treated as such, then of course there’s going to be an equal and opposite pushback where men will not trust women to not always be on the warpath and make false accusations, hypocrisy, and double standards (sic).”
Men today are afraid of “their lives being ruined by saying the wrong things” or offending a woman, he said, adding that the woman will then “attack via social warfare with encouragement from neo feminists who believe women can do no wrong and men always deserve it”.
More recently, scholars have contended that the appeal of people like Tate goes beyond a mere reaction to societal criticism. Such influencers profit by tapping into real anxieties of young men like economic hardship and job insecurity. Tate and other ‘manfluencers’ have successfully convinced many young men that these struggles stem from feminist efforts for gender equality – essentially that “women are taking men’s jobs” when they should be at home, “taking care of the kids”.
The idea they promote is that the world’s inequalities are not the result of complex factors like capitalism, but because men have been “dethroned” by gender equality movements. This paints gender dynamics as a zero-sum game, where female empowerment must come at the expense of male power.
According to dbombs24, the problem, ultimately, is unregulated capitalism that puts profit over people every time, constantly exploiting both genders. “The patriarchy has hurt men too, and when people think it’s a cabal of men just strategising how to oppress women, they’re not factoring in the fact that it’s usually rich men, and has more to do with socioeconomic status than just being a man,” he said.
Tackling the manosphere
The allure of the manosphere can be baffling, especially for parents, teachers, or friends trying to understand why the men in their lives have abruptly developed strong misogynistic beliefs. The key to tackling the issue, however, is to approach it with empathy and a commitment to dialogue. It is crucial to note that while several groups within the manosphere are harmful, many are simply seeking answers or trying to make sense of complex personal issues.
Abubakr Jamal, a Chennai-based scholar currently pursuing his PhD in the US, stressed the importance of boys having positive male figures in their lives, men who represent and adhere to more egalitarian ideas, and have level-headed viewpoints. This is not just about the male figures in the family but also extends to the digital realm, as the online content boys consume inevitably ends up influencing their personal algorithm.
Before leaving for the US, Jamal used to tutor students of Class 11 and 12, two of whom had been ‘fans’ of Andrew Tate. The 26-year-old dealt with it by directly pointing out the absurdity of certain ideas Tate peddled, and encouraging critical thinking.
“I have introduced my younger brother to influencers like Hasan Piker (Twitch streamer and left-wing political commentator). Hasan is not without his flaws, but he speaks out on important issues and has perspective – any day a better influence than people like Tate,” Jamal said.
Finding positive male role models on the internet can seem challenging, given the vast and often overwhelming amount of content available. Hasan himself, notably, has faced allegations of misogyny. The key, hence, would be to engage intentionally. Whether through following social media influencers who promote mental health, watching inspiring TED Talks, or joining communities that emphasise growth and accountability, young boys can be guided by role models who promote healthy masculinity and encourage positive development.
Learning the terminologies can also help teachers and parents recognise and initiate conversations with young men who engage with male supremacist content. Researchers have suggested that recognising the connection between language and ideology is key to deradicalisation efforts – and ideally, even preventing radicalisation altogether.
For young men and boys, such an awareness can also enhance digital literacy and help resist online manipulation.
Deciphering the manosphere language, however, can be challenging, at least initially. Many of the terms used are deliberately cryptic, while simultaneously being deeply offensive and oftentimes meaningless at face value. This is hardly surprising, as a lot of these terms are designed to confuse outsiders who are sceptical, and sway them away from entering extremist spheres.
Here are some frequently used terms associated with the manosphere, which we haven’t covered so far:
At a familial level, it is also possible for parents to manipulate social media algorithms to ensure their children stay away from deliberately divisive content. This can be achieved by actively engaging with content that is appropriate, which helps influence the algorithm, as it is often aligned with user behaviour. The more parents watch educational and age-appropriate content, the more the algorithm will recommend it.
This story is republished from The News Minute. It has been lightly edited for style and clarity. Click here to subscribe to both NL and TNM, and support journalism that is truly in public interest.
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