Time for me to clock off, with England’s World Cup defence a little more tattered, a little more torn. They fly to Ahmedabad to play a rejuvinated Australia on November 4. India entertain Sri Lanka on Thursday.
Here is Simon’s report from Lucknow, if you need a bit more despair with your cheese and biscuits.
Thanks for all your messages and sorry I couldn’t get to them all. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Bye!
The stadium is emptying behind the commentators. Apparently, India aren’t mathematically into the semi-finals. Nor are England mathematically out of the tournament. But the acrobatics that would have to happen to allow those situations to play out are practically impossible.
Eoin Morgan throws some dry fir cones onto the fire.
Eoin Morgan via Sky Sports on England: “I’ve never come across a sports team that has underperformed like this, given the level of expectation. There’s something within the team that is definitely unsettled. I think there’s something else going on – there has to be.”
— Chris Stocks (@StocksC_cricket) October 29, 2023
Farhan has done a bit of digging around, “England may still be in contention for a semifinal spot - as far mathematics is concerned. But they need to win every single game and they need to win big in each of those games and hope that Australia lose every other game and lose them badly. Each of these scenarios in unrealistic, especially the one where England win the rest of all their games in this tournament - let alone winning all of them big.”
Harsh but fair.
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Dean in Cardiff has no mercy. “At least England’s problems are easily identifiable & clear - selection, motivation, form, batting, bowling, fielding & no travelling reserves...”
Eoin Morgan is nearly as harsh. “It hurts and it should hurt. Again, they’ve not competed for 100 overs of a game.”
Nasser is interesting. “It reminds me of what Duncan Fletcher said to me when he took over. You' aren’t the best side in the world, but you’re not the worst either.”
Sky flash up the World Cup table. Down in the basement sit England with one win from six games. India lounge across the top.
Chris Woakes has won the opposite of a golden ticket. “It is disappointing,” he tells Ian Ward. “At the half way stage we were in a pretty good place. The wicket wasn’t easy, and losing wickets in clumps, it is not easy to come back from that. I think if we could buy some confidence we’d spend a lot of money on it, when you haven’t got confidence you are likely to play some rash shots. I think Ben was probably trying to counteract Shami bowling well by playing some shots – obviously that didn’t go well. You need to make the decision in the moment. It’s top level sport, you have no right to win.”
“To put it into context,” writes Mark Beadle, “that was England’s second best performance of the tournament so far…” Just the seven bowled/lbws.
Jasprit Bumrah is chirpy: The game was a good challenge for India, they practise in the evening so the dew wasn’t a surprise. The guys get on, they’re enjoying the tournament, Shami is a gem, and they haven’t lost a game.
I’m afraid it is poor Jos Buttler again with the microphone. But he’s a good guy, and he does miserable honestly well
“I’m very disappointed, I think at the half way stage, chasing 230 we fancied ourselves, but it was the same old story.
“Personally I felt like I wanted to soak pressure up, but it is about committing and executing the skill. There wasn’t scoreboard pressure, we’re just falling short, whichever way we’re doing it at the moment.”
How are do many good players losing form at the same time?
“Answers on a postcard I think. Some top players in there, long way off our best.
“Great start in the power play, the ground fielding as good as it has been, felt like today the day it is all turning round.
Atherton asks about Champions Trophy qualification:
“I’m aware of that, we’ve still go lots of play for.”
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India have now won every game. England lost five of six.
After a cracking bowling and fielding performance, the wheels rapidly fell off England’s batting line-up, shortly followed by the doors, the windows, and that little tin of boiled sweets hidden in the glove compartment. Only Liam Livingstone made more than 16 – though he and Buttler and Moeen did attempt to knuckle down and rebuild after the clatter of early wickets.
The player of the match is Rohit Sharma, for his 87 on a tricky pitch, but it was a magnificent bowling performance from India too -especially from Bumrah (3-32) and Shami (4-22).
Blue handshakes. Kudos to Buttler who manages to squeeze out a polite smile. England’s last four innings totals have been: 215, 170, 156, 129.
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WICKET! Wood b Bumrah 0 England 129 all out -India win by 100 runs
34.5 overs (Willey 16) Time for Willey to thrash a second six off Bumrah, before Wood is skittled by a perfect yorker.
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WICKET! Rashid b Shami 13 (England 122-9)
34th over: England 122-9 (Willey 9, Wood 0) Shami fires one into the pitch which Rashid bats away from his nose awkwardly. Two wides bring some respite, Rohit, a man of limited patience, performs a double teapot. Not for long, as Rashid, the ball after driving Shami stylishly through the covers, loses both his stumps to once that creeps a bit low.
33rd over: England 112-8 (Willey 9, Rashid 5) Willey, enthused by the spirit of lost causes, smacks the majestic Bumrah for six, an insulting number of rows back into the stands.
32nd over: England 104-8 (Willey 2, Rashid 4) Yadav bounces through another over. Rashid and Willey busy themselves at different ends.
But for something completely different, over to Romeo:
“The Asia Qualifier for the T20 World Cup starts tomorrow in Kathmandu at 03.15 GMT, with Bahrain v UAE and Nepal v Singapore. At 07.45 GMT there’s Malaysia v Oman and Hong Kong v Kuwait. The top two, after a round robin and semi-finals, go to the World Cup and the whole thing takes just one week.”
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31st over: England 102-8 (Willey 1, Rashid 3) England somehow shell-shock through a Jadeja over.
30th over: England 101-8 (Willey 1, Rashid 2) England have now lost 8-68 in a burnt Christmas dinner of a period of play. It was a nice innings by Livingstone though, uncharacteristically patient and careful. But the pressure told, and he went for the sweep to the wrong ball.
WICKET! Livingstone lbw Kuldeep Yadav 27 (England 98-8)
Livingstone is certain he’s not out. Holds his inelegant position, legs a-kimbo. But the umpire is adamant too, and so is ball tracker.
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29th over: England 98-7 (Livingstone 27, Willey 0) A wicket maiden for Jadeja who squeezes the ball out on his shirt. A nice little start by Woakes, but he couldn’t wait for the pressure to ease. Virat, meets Rohit, meets Yadav – with fielders given multiple direction.
WICKET! Woakes st Rahul b Jadeja 10 (England 98-7)
Shucks. A victory for the pressure of the rising run-rate. From nowhere, Woakes charges Jadeja with intent, and is neatly sent on his way with a swish of the gloves.
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28th over: England 98-6 (Livingstone 27, Woakes 10) Another Siraj misfield displeased Rohit Sharma. Four singles tapped off Yadav.
Hello Peter Rowntree: “Good to have a reason to speak to you outside of the normal CC. All this talk about Dave Willey not having a central contract. Personally, I don’t think it’s made a ha’porth of difference to his performances. I have followed Dave Willey throughout his career and he is a real one hundred percenter on the cricket field and make no mistake.
“It’s just such a shame that the limitations of his body have never enabled him to fulfil the immense potential he showed when he first came into the professional game. Don’t know what to make of England’s performances in this world cup, but when a side with so many talented players consistently plays badly it tends to point to motivation and leadership issues. And again this issue with motivation would not apply to Dave Willey - he is so totally self-motivated as a cricketer just wants to do well and take wickets every time he steps out on a cricket pitch.”
27th over: England 94-6 (Livingstone 25, Woakes 8) Three tickled from Jadeja.
26th over: England 91-6 (Livingstone 23, Woakes 7) “Is it over-optimistic of me to hope that Woakes will play one of “those innings” where he rescues England and enables Liam Livingstone to free his arms and clobber the “over-rated” Indian attack to give England a much-needed victory?” ponders Colum Fordham. “ Let’s face it, India have been lucky thus far and England have just been pretending to be their pre-2015 selves.” Well he does hit the shot of the innings, classy loft over cover.
25th over: England 84-6 (Livingstone 22, Woakes 1) If, if, England can survive Shami and Bumrah, the dew might yet help England. Jadeja continually drying the ball. Three from his over.
“Hi Tanya and greetings from Hanoi,” hello Phil Keegan!
“This is perhaps a bit cruel but I can’t help thinking that if this England batting line up were an animal it would be put down to avoid further suffering.”
23rd over: England 81-6 (Livingstone 20, Woakes 0) Moeen’s 15 consisted of 15 careful singles, but he couldn’t add to the foundations. Woakes survives five balls of heavy-duty Shami – who pauses mid-over as something is removed from his eye – driving and missing dangerously to the last.
“Why don’t England just pretend it’s Day four of a Test match?” asks Gareth Creer.
WICKET! Moeen Ali c Rahul b Shami 15 (England 81-6)
Shami magic! Moeen thinks about a drive and can just edge behind.
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23rd over: England 81-5 (Moeen 15, Livingstone 20) Quietly, England rebuilding here. Livingstone grins as Jadeja appeals loudly for an lbw.
22nd over: England 79-5 (Moeen 14, Livingstone 19) Livingstone crouching, sweeps Kuldeep round for four, past the sliding Siraj on the rope, who ends up sprawled on the ground like a tipped up wheelbarrow.
21st over: England 72-5 (Moeen 13, Livingstone 13) The dew has fallen, the television pictures show fat globules making themselves at home on the grass. Virat Kohli is in charge of drying.
20th over: England 68-5 (Moeen 11, Livingstone 11) Kuldeep rips one from outside Livingstone’s stretching space, back in towards his stumps. Somehow, he is still there.
19th over: England 67-5 (Moeen 10, Livingstone 11) Time for Jadeja, thick black hairband holding back a head of full curly hair. England play him sensibly away.
18th over: England 64-5 (Moeen 9, Livingstone 9) this and that for three.
Hello Teejash Shah! “Born in India, I now live in the States. With work travels, OBO is my only way to follow this World Cup. So first of all, thank you! Yous do an amazing job.” Very kind! Will tell the team.
”What the English selectors should have done
given contracts only to the non-playing 15 folks. That would have put a fire under the playing 15, just like it has under Willey!”
17th over: England 61-5 (Moeen 8, Livingstone 7) Livingstone could change this game in ten overs. If he can keep his head. He milks six from Siraj’s over, including a lesser-spotted boundary, whipped behind. Moeen continues to watch and wait.
Hello Tamsyn Lawrence. “Not sure why everyone’s so down on this performance. By my calculations at the current rate, we’ll have caught the asked for total by the 70th over for a mere 23 wickets.”
16th over: England 54-5 (Moeen 7, Livingstone 1) What a beauty of a bath bomb, full of fresh flowers and glitter, , screaming in from outside off stump to skittle the bails. Buttler a little rigid in the crease, has nowhere to go.
WICKET! Buttler b Kuldeep 10 (England 52-5)
Buttler steps back, the ball follows him. Fizzes, gorgeously, into the stumps.
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15th over: England 52-4 (Buttler 10, Moeen 6) Siraj again – is Rohit trying to use him up while there is no pressure? Not as dangerous as Bumrah or Shami today – but he could let England off the hook. Buttler and Moeen, veterans of the IPL, continue the Clarks lace-ups and clean fingernails rebuild. Five from the over.
“I love Ben Stokes, really I do,” writes Roy Everitt, “but it looks like England have opted to go not just a bowler short, but a batsman as well.”
14th over: England 47-4 (Buttler 6, Moeen 5) Time for wrist spin, with Kuldeep Yadav. Moeen’s got this – don’t worry.
Tom VDG has a theory: “In amongst this shambles, I would’ve been tempted to promote Willey with instructions to play an attacking pinch-hitting approach in the hope that India might be knocked off their lengths.... Let’s be honest, it couldn’t be any worse than what we’re witnessing.” Willey definitely has a point to prove, what with him being the only man in the squad not to be given a contract. In that situation, I don’t really understand why the ECB would announce the contracts while the World Cup was in play? Politically easier to do afterwards, and kinder. Unless I’m missing something.
13th over: England 45-4 (Buttler 5, Moeen 4) Siraj, shirt untucked, napkin in the back of his trousers. England continue in library mode, till Siraj’s last ball which Buttler thinks about pulling but misses.
12th over: England 42-4 (Buttler 4, Moeen 3) Buttler and Moeen have reset the circuits. Gone are the big heaves, ignored are the wide balls. One from Shami’s over – Rohit claps appreciatively.
David Mooney has some good news, “England have avoided the follow on.”
11th over: England 41-4 (Buttler 4, Moeen 2) Buttler closes his pale blue eyes and tips his chin to the heavens. Siraj returns to bring some relief. One from the over. Ecstatic royal blue shirts as far as the eye can see.
“I’m sure everyone is racing to find the right statistics to put England’s performance at this World Cup in historical perspective, but it really has to be seen to be believed,” writes Beau Dure. “At no time since the first wicket fell has an English batter looked like he had the slightest idea of what he’s doing. It looks as though someone handed cricket bats to a bunch of golfers and polo players. “
It is so strange. They’re all good players. Some of them great players. Haplessness is catching.
10th over: England 40-4 (Buttler 4, Moeen 1) Moeen responds to the carnage with two immaculate forward defensives. Shami practically unplayable. The ground electric.
“Sorry everyone if I jinxed them with that Little & Large joke,” taps a sheepish Ewan Glenton, “but ‘Ok I’ll call back when one of them’s out for about 70 off 55 balls and England are halfway to their required target for the loss of just one wicket’ wouldn’t have sounded quite as effective, somehow… “
WICKET! Bairstow b Shami 14 (England 39 -4)
YJB tries to muscle Shami away off the backfoot and drags on off an inside edge. Ping goes middle stump, off fly the bails. Shami runs in delight.
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9th over: England 39-3 (Bairstow 14, Buttler 4) Bairstow given a life when he cuts at the smiling assassin Bumrah and Kohli is unable to hold on, flying at first slip. Buttler off the mark with a misfield on the boundary from Siraj.
8th over: England 33-3 (Bairstow 13, Buttler 0) Suraj is replaced by the thundering Shami, who twice passes the outside edge of Stokes. Throw in stand, thrash and miss, and the ugly heave of a wicket is no surprise. A second consecutive maiden and delirium in Lucknow.
WICKET! Stokes b Shami 0 (England 33-3)
Stokes steps wide, swings like a mad man with a plastic bag full of old rubbish, and loses his stumps .
7th over: England 33-2 (Bairstow 13, Stokes 0) Bairstow checks and checks his guard, but survives Bumrah’s hat-trick ball. He somehow resists the noise ,which must be pumping around his body, urging attack, nd plays out a maiden.
Kim Thonger hello!
”I’m now wondering if England’s performance in the first few games has actually been part of a deliberate ploy by Baz et al to lull the ‘top tier’ nations into a false sense of overconfidence against the ‘minnows’, England being newly regarded by everyone as a tiny ODI fish. India certainly seem to have relaxed too much in their innings. It’s a brilliant piece of psychological wrong footing if so, worthy of that master of psychology Dr Mike Brearley.
”And to answer Brian Withington’s French New Wave cinema question, no sorry I can’t help, and is he sure he’s not getting mixed up and it was actually an episode of Mr Benn or Crystal Tipps & Alastair?”
6th over: England 33-2 (Bairstow 13, Stokes 0) The noise is incredible. The review shows the spike came before ball passed bat. Stokes is instantly manic, charging and missing.
5th over: England 30-2 (Bairstow 10, Stokes 0) “Hmm,” says my 15 year old. “ We might be able to watch the derby after all.”
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WICKET! Root lbw Bumrah 0 (England 30-2)
Root reviews, Bumrah grins. The review shows a tiny spike but the third umpire decides it wasn’t enough. Root storms off, Bumrah on a hat-trick.
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WICKET! Malan b Bumrah 16 (England 30-1)
Squished for room, cuts onto his stumps, bails fly. A million bugels cry.
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4th over: England 26-0 (Malan 12, Bairstow 10) Siraj somewhat off his mojo here, as Bairstow leans into an extra cover drive and send the ball flying to the fence. We pause as he removes his boot, calls for a physio and clean socks. In the crowd a man in a native american headdress lifts his daughter high over his head as if offering her to the crowd. Please put the baby down. Now Siraj has hurt his hand too, stopping the ball in his follow through. He limps through the rest of the over.
3rd over: England 20-0 (Malan 12, Bairstow 4) To a cacophony of bugels, Bumrah resumes. He’s getting plenty of movement across the left hander and England are content to sit back and watch.
““I’m reminded of a Little & Large TV sketch from the 1980s,” writes Ewan Glenton, “when things were going disastrously badly for English cricket, not sure exactly when:
Picks up the phone…
‘Hello, can I speak to one of England’s opening batsmen, please?’
Pause…
‘What’s that, he’s just gone out to bat? Ok, I’ll hang on a moment…’
2nd over: England 17-0 (Malan 10, Bairstow 4) Siraj starts with two wides in his first three balls. Eggs over easy six from Malan follows, lofted over midwicket. Followed immediately by a straight drive for four. Crowd suddenly quiet.
“ATAA. I said I was out after the last caper, but they drag you back in…” I know Mark Beadle, bastards. And there are so many DIY jobs you could be doing instead.
1st over: England 4-0 (Malan 0, Bairstow 4) A delay while up in the stands, in the eyeline of YJB, people with flags are dealt with. Rohit has his hand on his hip, Kohli flames. At last Bumrah runs in. The first passes safely by, the fourth zips past cutting Bairstow in half. The last is slashed away for four between backward point and point. Up and running.
England need 230 to win
Here come Dawid Malan and Jonny Bairstow, blue, helmeted, and fiercely taking their guard. Can they steal a win past the unbeaten runaway favourites?
“Good afternoon Tanya.” Hello Krishnamorthy V.
“In the morning it appeared to be a contest between the invincible vs the invisible. Is this the turning point for England ?
“If they go on to win the trophy from this, that would be a hell of a script.”
They have got previous at turning things around, and the pedigree to do it, but it feels like this ship is too hefty to shift. Could be fun to see them try though.
Thanks Daniel! That scorecard wasn’t what I was expecting this morning – a duck for Kohli, wickets for Woakes and some ineffective thrashing about by the tail.
On the pitch in the interval are Nasser Hussain, Ian Ward and Nasser Hussain, in matching pale pink shirts, worrying about the dew. The super soppers are going round and round in an attempt to soak up the wretched stuff; but Nasser thinks “a tired pitch brings England into it.” Can someone play the Rohit innings to bring England home?
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Righto, my mates, my watch is over. Here’s Tanya Aldred to chill with you through their reply; enjoy!
India set England 230 to win
The chase should be a load of fun.
WICKET! Kuldeep run out (Buttler) 9 (India 229-9)
Kuldeep misses, Butter’s underarm hits, and England will feel in control of this. Ahahahahaha!
50th over: India 229-8 (Bumrah 16, Kuldeep 9) Woakes has been excellent today and Bumrah muscles a pull to mid on; they run one. An off-side wide follows, then a cut for another single into the off side. This partnership has been decent, 20 off 19, then Bumrah forces to long on and they run one more. A swing and a miss gets rid of the penultimate delivery,
49th over: India 225-8 (Bumrah 14, Kuldeep 8) Ah, Wood returns at the other end and goes around to the lefty Kuldeep; a single to midwicket follows, then Bumrah adds one to point and the bowler slings down a leg-side wide. He then races back to his mark as if running away from the shame, his final four balls yielding a pair of ones, and he finishes with 1-46 off nine.
48th over: India 220-8 (Bumrah 12, Kuldeep 6) Buttler thanks Wood and turns to Woakes; Bumrah edges his first ball just wide of gully and they run one. A single and two twos follow, making it six off the over, and England will take that; even 250 will be a tough chase, but that looked at the bottom end of the range when Rohit and Rahul were batting.
“Australia are Black Sabbath,” reckons Ade Couper, “for years the best thing out there, still hanging on but nowhere near the force they once were....”
This could be any decent band really, but perhaps we need a “respected but not loved” addition to the description. Kraftwerk?
47th over: India 214-8 (Bumrah 7, Kuldeep 5) Kuldeep turns to square leg for one, Bumrah edges one of his own, and Willey strays straight, allowing Kuldeep to flourish him around the corner for four. Willey finishes with 3-45 and that’s a very fine performance from him. England will want to finish off well here, because three booming overs would put them under pressure they ought really to avoid.
“Carter Beats the Devil is one of the great reads,” agrees John Starbuck. “If you like that, you’ll probably also appreciate The Bear Went over the Mountain by William Kotzwinkel. It’s by no means in the same tradition, but very funny in its own way.”
Thanks, I shall investigate.
WICKET! Yadav c Woakes b Willey 49 (India 208-8)
Full from Willey and Yadav flings hands at it, slicing high and straight to the cover-sweeper! Decent knock but with all the batters gone and 3.4 still to do, England are bang in charge of this.
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46th over: India 208-7 (Yadav 49, Bumrah 6) And he does, flicking Wood’s first delivery over fine leg for six! He saw that one coming, moving towards off and not bothering to run; he timed that like Phil Collins times the drum fill in In the Air Tonight. A single follows, then Bumrah, on 0 after 12 balls, skitters legs out of the road, then cleanses a drive through mid on for four! The crowd love that so they do … but not as much as they love this! Bumrah swipes to long off, Moeen is underneath it and he never drops these … apart from now! He gets the ball in the top of his fingers, spills it, ands they run two! He looks mortified but England have fielded really well today, and if they maintain discipline will be chasing a target they’d have happily have shaken on at the start.
45th over: India 195-7 (Yadav 41, Bumrah 0) Willey replaces Rashid and he has two overs left, Wood three and Woakes three; my guess is he bowls out and Woakes is the one with an unconsumed allocation. What’s especially impressive about England’s work today is there’s been no period during which they lost control of the innings; they needed the breakthrough they got when Rahul gave his wicket away, but the threat was future scoring, rather than anything going on at the time. And they keep boot on throat, Yadav forcing to mid on for one, the only run off the over; surely he’s got to free arms now?
“Sri Lanka are King Crimson,” tweets Richard Woods. “Single-handedly invented a genre and then did no more than stick around while others moved it forward.”
44th over: India 194-7 (Yadav 41, Bumrah 0) Yadav cuts Wood – sounds harsh, but this is the world in which we live – and on the fence, Rashid dives really well to prevent the boundary as they run two. A wide and a single follow, the four dots, and I’m absolutely buzzing to discover how England mess this up. I reckon 54-0 to 226 all out.
“Please can you tell Kim that he’d need to be a bit more specific given the typical clientele at the Chapter in the late 70s,” responds Brian Withington, “but apologies if I gave him and his Gauloise a wide berth. Meanwhile can he recall the name of a fairly depressing French new wavish film (I know) with a fairly baffling denouement, featuring an alternative ending via a clock running backwards in a hall/swimming pool?”
All I’ve got is Rififi, which I know it isn’t – but for anyone who’s not seen it, I highly recommend taking the time.
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43rd over: India 190-7 (Yadav 38, Bumrah 0) Yadav will be tempted to see off Rashid then see, but if it’s there to hit he’ll hit it, two cut to the point fence then four larruped over backward square for four via sweep. That’s a fine shot and a single follows, then a gorgeous googly which is far too good for Bumrah, who sees the ball zip through the gat but over the stumps. The great Adil Rashid finishes with 2-35 and this constant use of that prefix makes him sound like a magician, which makes me want to recommend Carter Beats the Devil – one of my all-time favourite novels.
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42nd over: India 183-7 (Yadav 31, Bumrah 0) Bumrah will be expecting heat, so I wonder if Wood will go full at him. And he does, sort of; nothing short, but no toe-crusher either, just four dots to complete a wicket maiden.
“OK,” begins Dean Kinsella. “While I’m thoroughly on the side of the‘ Adil the Great’ epithet, we could could let the argument between you and Mr Begrudger be settled if Adil gets that last wicket we need today.”
Here comes his final over…
WICKET! Shami c Buttler b Wood 1 (England 183-7)
They couldn’t, could they? Er, probably not, but this is very good from England and Wood returns, persuading Shami to edge behind. Whatever they’re chasing, it’s going to be manageable, and I for one can’t wait to enjoy the total expletive they make of it.
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41st over: India 183-6 (Yadav 31, Shami 1) Are we still saying Rashid isn’t an England great? He has 2-28 off nine while India have to somehow lift themselves to a decent target with a bowler batting at one end. England have been excellent today – the bowlers have been solid, the outfielding has been superb and Buttler, after reading the pitch well, has husbanded his resources very wisely indeed.
OUT!
The turn kept it just straight enough; it was clipping the top of leg, so umpire’s call, and India are in big trouble now. Relatively speaking.
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INDIA REVIEW!
Tis is going to be tight because, looking again, there was bounce and turn; this might be missing leg on height or width…
WICKET! Jadeja lbw b Rashid 8 (India 182-6)
Might this be the crucial breakthrough! Jadeja pushes forward, is beaten by the turn, and this looks good! But was it too high?!
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40th over: India 180-5 (Yadav 31, Jadeja 8) Moeen’s been going nicely so, although he’s now taking overs away from Wood or Woakes, he keeps going, and the batters will need to force things soon. But right at Moeen’s finishing another useful over, four singles from it, Yadav misses a reverse, Buttler misses too, and the ball rushes away for four byes.
“New Zealand are Kylie Minogue,” reckons John Starbuck. “Highly appreciated by many, several real bangers and a chequered history, through very little fault of their own. Pakistan are The Hollies: a few great, classic achievements, but a bit patchy.”
39th over: India 172-5 (Yadav 28, Jadeja 5) England send in a leg slip for Jadeja, enough to keep him thinking if nothing else. But the great Adil Rashid is into his spell now, a single flicked into the on side the only run from the over. If Egland can just get one more wicket, they’re into the bowlers and will fancy limiting India to 230 or so; other hand, a big over or two and this partnership can get them up to 270ish.
38th over: India 171-5 (Yadav 27, Jadeja 5) With the lefty Jadeja out there, Moeen continues, and India will want another hundred off these final 12 overs; a two and four singles get this latest partnership going.
“England are David Bowie,” reckons Tom Atkins. “At the forefront of things right at the beginning, lost their way from the mid 80s to the mid-late 00s but produced some fantastic work in the 2010s only for time and old age to catch up with them once again.”
If we ignore the social conscience, but his drum n bass album is a nice metaphor for the ODIs of the late 90s.
37th over: India 165-5 (Yadav 25, Jadeja 1) So the great Adil Rashid intervenes again, and that wicket might prove pivotal in the match. Jadeja gets away to deep square, and, with Shami in next, this is the partnership.
WICKET! Sharma c Livingstone b Rashid 87 (India 164-4)
A fantastic knock, ended by a fantastic catch! Rohit, who’s batted with such patience and skill, feels he’s to go at one. But it’s a googly – he spots it, of course – except it sticks a bit and, when the ball soars, Livingstone runs in from cow, leaps with both legs bent at the knees, and slides under a tremendous grab. He’s hurt himself in the process, but given he’s up and about, I think he’ll be fine – it looked a serious injury or nothing kind of situation.
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37th over: India 164-4 (Rohit 87, Yadav 25) Yup, here’s Rashid, his first four balls ceding just a single…
“Yesterday’s Pink Floyd chat got me thinking, as only the OBO can, about international cricket teams and their musical equivalents,” writes Simon McMahon. “If Australia are, say, Pink Floyd, or Radiohead, i.e., consistently excellent, critically acclaimed but not universally liked, then who are England? Would need to be someone who has had very high highs, but some pretty low lows too. Genesis, Bowie, or the Stones, perhaps? India are Taylor Swift, obvs.”
I think we’d need some lacking self-awareness in the mix too; Oasis?
36th over: India 163-4 (Rohit 87, Yadav 24) The red soil at either end is crumbly and, on the face of things, you’d fancy being an Indian spinner more than England batter this evening. But, as Nasser insists again, locals expect batting to get easier not harder – what we’ve seen through this innings suggests as much too – and, as I type, Yadav absolutely nails a sweep for four. In total, the over yields eight, but Moeen and Livingstone have now bowled 10 between them, so I’d expect to see Rashid return pretty soon.
35th over: India 155-4 (Rohit 85, Yadav 18) Buttler keeps Willey at it but when his first delivery is short, Yadav pulls it for four; if this over fails to yield a wicket, I fear Buttler may regret not saving his man for the death. Two twos follow, and this match will remain in the balance right until England are 3-2 off two.
34th over: India 145-4 (Rohit 85, Yadav 10) Moeen continues and this is a decent over, two singles off it and Rohit turning an attempted sweep into his pad.
“Could you ask the venerable Brian Withington if he remembers while at Chapter Arts in late 70s seeing a callow youth lurking in the lobby dressed as a punk but sporting a dodgy perm and ‘nonchalantly’ smoking a Gauloise? That would have been me,” confides Kim Thonger. Rick Smith, now a rock god as the keyboard half of Underworld, also would have been hanging around. Oh and my wife says how about Je Ne Regrette Rien as the Bazball theme tune/anthem? Perhaps Rick could adapt it for his forthcoming tour?”
Real nonchalants smoked Dunhill International, the flat pack perfect for the inside pocket of a school blazer. Underworld, though, what a band; I know it’s far from the best work, but I’m not sure any riff evokes a time as completely as the intro to Born Slippy. Feel free to send in other examples.
33rd over: India 145-4 (Rohit 84, Yadav 9) Willey continues and I’d expect circumspection from the batters here – they won’t feel free to attack him as this stage, with a par total a fair way away. The ground is pretty full now, lots of its members dressed in India blue, and I’m wondering if we should insist teams have an away strip to see if we can get away from the relatively samey nature of the gear these days. Four singles from the over and Willey, who has 2-30 off seven, only has three to go. Surely it’s time for Rashid’s return?
32nd over: India 141-4 (Rohit 82, Yadav 7) Nope, it’s Moeen, and he’s milked for four singles. With Rohit grooved and Jadeja to come, Buttler can’t let this drift – he won’t want to rely on Moeen or Livingstone later on, but given the length of India’s tail, he can worry about that later. For now, he needs to press home the advantage.
31st over: India 137-4 (Rohit 80, Yadav 5) The question now is whether Buttler keeps Willey going or accepts the breakthrough he was seeking, then reverts to the spinners. Meantime, Yadav chips between bowler and mid on, ball running away for four, and in comms, Morgan, who knows a thing or two about husbanding resources, reckons England should go for it, trying Wood or Rashid from the other end. This is a really interesting tussle, already making a mockery of the idea that 50-over cricket is expendable; it gives you ebbs, nuance and a story you just don’t get with T20.
WICKET! Rahul c Bairstow c Willey 39 (India 131-4)
It’s not Rohit but it’s a start. Rahul tries to leather back over the bowler’s head but ends up cross-batting high to mid on, Bairstow pouching easily enough. That was, though, a very useful knock and partnership.
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31st over: India 131-3 (Rohit 79, Rahul 39) Yup, Buttler summons Willey; hold tight, this might just be the match here.
30th over: India 131-3 (Rohit 79, Rahul 39) England know they were never likely to flatten India, and that there’d be a time in the game during which they were not in control. Well, this is it now, and after a pair of singles, Rohit opens shoulders to stroke inside-out over wide mid-off for four. He is in such control of his game, mind and body in perfect synchronicity, and if England don’t get him out soon, he’ll define this match
29th over: India 125-3 (Rohit 74, Rahul 38) Buttler keeps Livingstone going and when Rohit advances, the bowler drops shot, finding some turn too and forcing a defensive shot … so Rohit comes down to the next ball too, a bit stride, hands in front, and the ball flying over midwicket for four. A two and a single follow, making it seven off the over, and I’d be very reticent to try and finagle another out Livingstone if it was up to me, because it feels like a monster is imminent. The partnership is 85 off 103.
28th over: India 118-3 (Rohit 67, Rahul 38) Good from Moeen, bowling wicket to wicket; after three dots, Rahul cuts him away for one, then a further single follows, and it feels like we’re on a rickety old rollercoaster, struggling up a slope. This match is ready to explode, but how?
27th over: India 116-3 (Rohit 66, Rahul 37) Buttler sticks with Livingstone – I don’t know if this will be it, but I’m almost certain that at some point, he’ll be kept on an over too long. And after the first three balls yield a two and a one, Rohit unfurls the reverse sweep, tickling fine and under the dive of Wood short third for four, then a cut has Wood flinging himself the other way, equally fruitlessly. Four more, and India have the momentum now. Dare Buttler revert to Willey or Woakes?
26th over: India 105-3 (Rohit 58, Rahul 34) Moeen replaces Wood and I wonder if the batters will go at him because they need to catch up somehow. Two singles come from the first three balls of the over, then two to third man and one to mid on complete the scoring from the over.
25th over: India 100-3 (Rohit 57, Rahul 30) Hand over eyes from Livingstone when he finds drift and turn away – that’s lovely stuff – except Rahul edges for four, then clambers forward and pulls four more! Lovely work, the partnership now 57 off 76, and a cut to the point fence forces Malan into another diving stop as the batters run two. The scoreboard is ticking now, the hundred coming up by way of single to cover, and England need somethingl the last two overs have yielded 19 runs.
24th over: India 89-3 (Rohit 57, Rahul 19) I say that, on reflection, because a mate of mine once read that Great Gig in the Sky was the world’s most popular song to, er, romance to, so would regularly leap up to put it on at the crucial moment; you can imagine how that went down. Anyroad, back in the middle, Rohit muscles two over mid on – that’s his fifty – and he celebrates in the grand style, picking up Wood so quickly when he strays straight and flicking over deep backward square for six. What a player he is, and England will be hearing John Williams; Wood retorts with a bumper, which Rohit aways away from away from which Rohit sways.
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23rd over: India 81-3 (Rohit 49, Rahul 19) it’s not Moeen, rather Livingstone, who’ll be desperate to make an impact after a disappointing tournament. He bowls leg spin to the right-handed Rahul and when Willey, at cover, dives to hold a bump ball, the fielder wears one on the finger and looks in pain. He doesn’t call for treatment, though, and another dot follows completing a maiden.
“My first exposure to Shine On You Crazy Diamond was circa 1977 sitting unsuspecting in the Chapter arts centre cinema in Cardiff, waiting patiently for Chabrol’s Le Boucher to start,” recalls Brian Withington. The combination of that ethereal introduction, played on a decent surround sound system, and my lovely companion for the evening made for an unforgettable experience. She’s hung around too …”
I fear we need a post-watershed OBO to appreciate the full weight of this anecdote.
22nd over: India 81-3 (Rohit 49, Rahul 19) Wood hasn’t threatened much, but he’s been miserly, ceding three singles off his fourth over, and I wonder what Rohit’s plan is. India will want about 270, I reckon, and I guess we’re in the middle of a silent stand-off; do England try Moeen now, before the sprint is on, or try and get another wicket or two?
“Yes, there is a case for Rashid to be considered England’s greatest one-day leg-spinner,” writes Andy Flintoff, “but then that’s almost like saying he’s first in a field of one, as there aren’t many others (Salisbury? Borthwick? Livingstone?). It is a shame he couldn’t quite do it in Test cricket, because he’s an obviously talented player.”
Not just leg-spinner, spinner. Of course he’s not as good as Swann was, but at the limited overs stuff? He’s better than everyone, and is the top of the list on his own merits, not because all the others were rubbish.
21st over: India 78-3 (Rohit 48, Rahul 17) I can’t believe Rohit will just let Rashid bowl, and after Rahul turns one to square leg, the India skipper reaches around and in front his pad, pulling four to square leg. Those are the only runs off the over and we’ve reached, if not a lull, a juncture point as we wait for our next big staging post: will England nab another wicket or can India turn this into a match-defining partnership?
20th over: India 73-3 (Rohit 44, Rahul 16) Rahul drives Wood hard, earning one to deep backward point, then Rohit twizzles another to deep square. At some point, he’s going to go at someone, but he’ll be conscious that, after Yadav and Jadeja, his side don’t have much batting so he needs to stick around. In comms, Nasser points out that Wood is bowling from wide because he doesn’t like crumbly footholds, but another single means three off the over, and he’ll take that.
“Just two other things on subject of Adge,” returns Kim Thonger. “The Somerset pronunciation of Joie De Vivre, is of course Joyder Veever, and might have been a perfect title for a Bazball anthem penned by Cutler. And in case anyone cares to know more about Adge, my school chum Kelvin MacDonald Fraser, now a respected solicitor in Weston-super-Mare, is the worlds leading authority on the man, and also has a side gig as the leader of the (peace-loving) Somerset separatist movement, going by the nom de plume Al Cyder.”
What are we calling this new land?
19th over: India 70-3 (Rohit 43, Rahul 14) A better over for England yielding three singles into the deep, and Buttler will be thinking about how best to husband his resources here. He needs some overs out of Livingstone and Moeen; might soon, while these two rebuild, be the best time for that? Or does he hope for another wicket first?
“In case any followers of our cult need an international listening link, “offers Ian Copestake, this works lovely.”
18th over: India 67-3 (Rohit 42, Rahul 12) Wood beats Rahul outside off then gets edged for four. A single to square leg follows and India are upping the rate a little here; this partnership is now 27 off 36 and England could use a breakthrough before it gathers further momentum.
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17th over: India 62-3 (Rohit 42, Rahul 7) Back we go, Rahul easing Rahid to cover for one … then Rohit stands up on tippy-toes, waiting for the ball before caressing it through extra for four. Two singles follow.
“I know that English cricket is prone to introspection and hyperbole,” says Sam McCormack, but seriously, calling Adil Rashid a great of the game is just nonsense. His stats show that he’s been fine.”
I didn’t call him a great of the game, I called him a great of English cricket, and I don’t really see how that’s even a debate. He’s a double world champion having played 131 ODIs and 99 T20Is; without him, his country win neither pot.
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16th over: India 55-3 (Rohit 37, Rahul 5) Ahahahaha! Wood finishes his over with a wide one and Rohit unloads the suitcase, clobbering four through backward point! That’s drinks, at the end of a seriously enjoyable first passage.
NOT OUT!
The ball wasn’t just avoiding leg, it was missing it by a way!
INDIA REVIEW!
I think this is out because Rohit didn’t get very far down, but it did hit him in front of leg…
WICKET! Sharma lbw b Wood 33 (India 51-4)
Now then! Rohit presses forward but can’t get bat around pad; was the ball going down?
16th over: India 51-3 (Rohit 33, Rahul 4) Wood into the attack at the end of a fantastic spell from Woakes. Rahul takes one to cover, then wears one that cramps him on the pads; in comms, Nasser notes this isn’t a day for pace because the batters will be hoping for it … but what’s this?
“This game reminds me of an old school one-day international from about 1990,” writes Rob Durbin. “Half-expecting Eddie Hemmings come on from one to end keep it tight whilst they bring on Derek Pringle from the other. Also, if it was 1990 I’d be 15 and it would be perfectly OK to sit around all day, watching the cricket rather than going out and doing stuff like the adult I am. Sometimes I think childhood was better!”
It’s always OK.
15th over: India 50-3 (Rohit 33, Rahul 4) Another good and quick Rashid over, a single from it – to Rahul, to cover.
“There was a lot of talk during yesterday’s game about Pink Floyd,” writes Kim Thonger. “Their LPs were quite good but nothing in their repertoire can really compete with Adge Cutler & The Wurzels ‘All Over Mendip’ live at The Webbington. I have never understood why they have not headlined Glastonbury or won the Mercury Prize … and Adge himself, regardless of his actual cricketing ability, would I think have instinctively understood the core philosophy of Bazball and written a perfect theme tune for this era.”
I actually played me nine-year-old Shine On You Crazy Diamond part one the other day – not many songs have blown my mind in the way that did. Naturally, my nipper wasn’t having it then, as the solo kicked in at the end, my wife came down and turned the stereo off because Ocado had arrived and I’d not heard the door. All in all, an extremely edifying episode.
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14th over: India 49-3 (Rohit 33, Rahul 3) Rahul gets down the other end at the first time of asking, nudging to leg for one. I’m sure the prospect of six balls at him, bowling an English-style Test-length, helped persuade Buttler not to make a change, but that’s soon out of the window then, after two further singles, Rohit’s seen enough, tippy-toeing down the track to muscle a one-bounce four down the ground and finish Woakes’ over, probably spell, with a boundary. India need that.
“Although England’s failure is more extreme than I would have expected,” says David Murray, “|I think there has been some serious overhyping of their abilities going into this tournament. Yes, they have some players who can bat very well at times. But so do all the other top teams. You say, ‘all it takes is one knock from one of their many ludicrous matchwinners’ – but that also requires the opposition matchwinners not produce an equal or better knock. Did we really think even before the tournament that Bairstow, Butler, Brook etc were better players than Rohit, Gill, Kohli etc or Warner, Head, Smith, Maxwell etc. or the South Africans, or New Zealand, or even Pakistan’s batters. I’m not sure I would have picked a single England player in a world XI even before the tournament started. There is very little between the top players other than their ability to produce the goods on the day and with greater or lesser consistency. Every time England lost a warm-up match we’d see Butler or whoever saying that they failed to ‘execute their skills’! But being able to execute your skills consistently is what it’s all about – anyone can hit a six now and then, look at how often bowlers do it. England have never really been consistent winners and need to realise that being able to produce the occasional remarkable innings does not make you world beaters. I can’t help thinking they believed their own hype far too readily.”
But they literally are world beaters?
13th over: India 42-3 (Rohit 28, Rahul 1) India haven’t been tested much recently, so this match will be good for them even if they lose it. But in the meantime they need to rebuild even if this innings has Rohit ton and Jadeja violence written all over it. Two singles from this latest Rashid over, and Woakes will indeed go again; I get it, but I’d have liked Wood against Rahul while he’s settling in.
12th over: India 40-3 (Rohit 27, Rahul 0) Woakes finds his Test-match line and length to greet Rahul, and now has 2-16 off six. Does Buttler keep him going given his foot is on the throat?
WICKET! Iyer c Wood b Woakes 4 (India 40-3)
Pressure tells! Woakes has been all over Iyer this over and he induces a top-edged pull that soars into the air before being snaffled by Wood! Are England back?
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12th over: India 40-2 (Rohit 27, Iyer 4) Woakes continues and Rohit takes one to backward square, then Iyer sees one nipping off the seam and just past his off peg. This is very fine work and next ball, an edge that doesn’t carry, immediately, Root is brought up…
“Pitch looks a bit two-paced,” says John Jones. “250 will be a good score here.”
I’d think a few more than that, but yes, it doesn’t look like England will be chasing a brute.
11st over: India 39-2 (Rohit 26, Iyer 4) Rashid replaces Willey and cedes four singles in a decent first over. On which point, given we’re reflecting on the work done by this side, he is a genuine great of the English game. I’ll always think he could’ve done more in Tests but still, an absolutely terrific cricketer.
“Kudos to you for getting through your maths exam despite coughing up dates,” chortles Ian Copestake. I got 60% and Mr Economides was every it as bothered as you’d expect a man frequently seen sleeping in the staff room, copy of the Mirror over his head, to be.
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10th over: India 35-2 (Rohit 24, Iyer 2) Rohit cuts a short one and though he doesn’t get all of it, his bravery in hiurling hands means it flies over Root at slip and to the fence for four – the only runs off the over, The first powerplay is over and England are doing nicely.
“I feel like these words could only have written by an Englishman,” says Scott Probst. ‘These players have changed the game, in the process upending everything everyone thought about English cricket and Test cricket’. England have played some great cricket, but the team’s trumpeting of their own towering insight into the games has been at times comical. My favourite moment: England making a horrendous racket about ‘the spirit of the game’TM while simultaneously ignoring the Spirit of The Game.”
I dunno, you could say the same about earlier India, Pakistan, West Indies, Australia and Sri Lanka teams and it’d be true. England have moved the game on and it’s not about “towering insight” but what we’ve seen out in the middle over the last few years. They’ve left this thing of our different to how they found it.
9th over: India 31-2 (Rohit 20, Iyer 2) Willey goes again and, after three dots, Iyer shoves and Stokes shies; he hits, but the batter was home by a metre or so. England, though, are creating pressure, and if they can just find a way through Rohit, they’ll seriously fancy this. And of course, there’s a long way to go, but watching them this tournament, it’s seemed more like they’re having a run of bad calls and luck rather than these players we know to be brilliant have suddenly all hit the wall together.
“I know the scorecard will only show Kohli caught Stokes bowled Willey,” says Brian Withington, “but (to borrow from the football vernacular) might Malan’s magnificent stop in the covers earlier in the over qualify as an ‘assist’? (I think someone on commentary even presciently made the observation at the time that fielding like that can earn a wicket.)”
And beyond that, it just gets good vibes going; bowlers know they’re be helped, other fielders know the level expected of them, the batters get nothing for free.
8th over: India 31-2 (Rohit 20, Iyer 2) Woakes catches Iyer, who can’t decide how to play a length ball, waving a bat at it and directing a leading edge just shy of cover; they run one. This is excellent from England and India, if not rattled, are certainly pensive, Rohit advancing to smear a mishit pull to midwicket for two. The way the pitch is, it looks a good call by Buttler to let India investigate what constitutes a good score on it.
7th over: India 28-2 (Rohit 18, Iyer 1) Iyer gets away to cover, and I daresay we see Mark Wood soon.
WICKET! Kohli c Stokes b Willey 0 (India 27-2)
Buttler will want some fiddled overs … but he’s got shot of Virat Kohli! And it’s a wicket created by that marvellous Malan stop because it keeps yerman on strike, he’s faced two further dots making it eight balls without scoring, and comes down the track to mishit a frustrated drive over the top that plops into the hands of Stokes at mid off. Have England have remembered how to play cricket?
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7th over: India 27-1 (Rohit 18, Kohli 0) Buttler will want Willey to fiddle through a few more overs as Kohli settles; they’re quickly helped by Malan who, after Kohli plays down into the off side, dives to pull off a fine stop.
6th over: India 27-1 (Rohit 18, Kohli 0) Woakes is enjoying this now, four dots before squaring up Rohit who, hands and bat out in front of his front pad, goes hard and edges … but the ball still drops just in front of Root at slip! The pitch is two-paced and might just suit the England bowlers who’ve struggled to find much hitherto. And, as I type that, the final delivery of the over tails in; Rohit does well to leave it alone on length and it zips fibres over the stumps. Maiden.
“As you say, England can win this game – in theory,” writes Brian Withington. “Back at the ground I rather fear that they are about to be handed a shellacking for the ages by a magnificent Indian team in peak form. Of course I have been known to make the occasional prognostic error…”
5th over: India 27-1 (Rohit 18, Kohli 0) That’s the thing, isn’t it? Kill Gill, get Virat. Be careful what you wish for, eh? But this is a good start from Willey, who cedes just one and persuades another to first lift then jag past the shoulder of the bat. There’s something in this track – we see the wicket, and that Gill played down the right line – had the ball not nipped back. Interesting…
‘Maybe not a favourite moment watching this team,” says Tom Atkins, “but certainly the most memorable one for me was during the 2019 semi final against Australia when I was at a conference with my whole department. A lot of us had more than half an eye on the score but only one of us tried to watch the highlights of a wicket when the CFO was giving a presentation, forgetting that the sound was still on his laptop. It was laughed off, but I can still hear the sound of mental notes being made about me to this day.”
Ha! Tkes me back to the 1992 World Cup final, during which I had an end of term maths test, so I had the old Game Boy earphones down the blazer sleeve, face resting on hand, coughing updates to the roughly 0 people in the class who cared.
WICKET! Gill b Woakes 9 (India 26-1)
Woakes woakeses! A full ball that hips back, Gill tries another flowing drive, lacing fresh air through cover as behind him, he hears the rattle, top of middle and gone. England, and Woakes in particular, needed that.
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4th over: India 26-0 (Rohit 17, Gill 9) Gill pokes two to midwicket, then Woakes thinks he’s heard an edge as the batter comes down – but hearing anything in this row can’t be easy. England decide not to review – rightly so, a replay suggests ball flicked pad – then squirts two around the corner.
3rd over: India 22-0 (Rohit 17, Gill 5) Off we go! Rohit twinkles down and clobbers a toe-ender over long on, so Willey drops shorter – that one was full – and of course he’s monstered over deep square for six! Eat that! Two singles follow, then Rohit again barrels down, thrashing Willey back over his head for six again, and it now feels like that early madien was just a tease. Eighteen off the over.
“Having personally sat through the torture that wss England’s capitulation to Sri Lanka in Bangalore’s steaming (but wonderfully vibrant) stadium,” brags Harry Lang, “I fear your 30-over skittlng is significantly more likely than a 320 chase. I’ve been wrong before, plenty of times. Let’s hope this is one of them.”
I can’t lie, nothing gives me greater joy than narrating an England batting collapse, and I’m certain Tanya, who’s on second dig, will deliver you the perfect rendition.
2nd over: India 4-0 (Rohit 0, Gill 4) Two dots, then Gill eases the first runs of the day through point and to the fence; he does not wait to be asked, that lad. So Woakes offers width next up and he’s fractions from seeing an airy drive dragged on; this is a good contest so far.
“Is there anyone more emblematic of this campaign than Woakes?” wonders Felix Wood. “His skillset which makes him a shoo-in elsewhere so obviously unsuited to this tournament, yet the powers that be just keep rolling the dice hoping for something to happen. Like winning the toss repeatedly and choosing the wrong option on gut feel. Madness.”
In general, the phrase “gut feel” is a misnomer and really – in mine of course – means “thinking”. On top of which, no cricketer has ever made me look stupid more often than Woakes, most recently last summer. I totally understand why Buttler has been loyal to him because he’s usually so reliable – what we’ve seen these last few matches can’t possibly continue. Can it?
1st over: India 0-0 (Rohit 0, Gill 0) Willey starts nicely, finding decent wobble-seam movement and offering neither width nor length and beating the edge with a beauty to finish the over. Maiden.
“I fear this could get very ugly indeed,” begins Guy Hornsby. “And I’m trying to figure out if we’re sticking with the mostly 2019 gunslingers because we’re stubborn or because we’re out of ideas. Flogging Wood and Woakes one more time when this is as good as a dead rubber feels strange but I guess they want to all go down fighting one last time. I guess Carse will play at some point. My fave moment? Smashing Australia in the 2019 semi final. Peak Morgan.”
I know what you mean. I guess the old stagers have earned this go, but as a fan I’d also like to see it moved forward with at least one pick for the future.
And play!
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Housekeeping: please send emails to daniel.harris.casual@theguardian.com.
The locals reckon it skids on here once the lights are in play, but Nasser notes that when SA bowled second, it nibbled for their quicks. But as Athers reminds us, it’s not really about the toss, rather whether England have a performance in them. Rohit takes guard and Willey has the ball in his hand.
Athers thought England would bat first, and I hope Buttler’s decision is dictated by conditions, not by mental state of a team who just need to get into the game and hope that during it, they find themselves. Anthem time.
What’s your favourite moment watching this England side? I think mine is when I was stood in the toilet on holiday in Ghana and someone tweeted the bit in the World Cup doc where England are waiting to be handed the trophy and Jos Buttler tells Jonny Bairstow “Your dad would be proud”. Elite mateship, as Justin Langer would say.
Thing is, England are plenty good enough to win this – in theory. All it takes is one knock from one of their many ludicrous matchwinners and they’re right there, but if they get a going-over when bowling, that’ll feel even less unlikely than it seems now. If they can keep India to 320ish, they’ll fancy it, but if they need to do something silly just to stick in the match, I’d not be shocked if they were skittled in 30 overs.
I look at that England attack and I’m concerned. If Stokes could bowl, the balance would be pretty good, but without him it looks a little light, and another pace option would be helpful.
Teams!
India: 1 Rohit Sharma (capt), 2 Shubman Gill, 3 Virat Kohli, 4 Shreyas Iyer, 5 KL Rahul (wk), 6 Suryakumar Yadav, 7 Ravindra Jadeja, 8 Kuldeep Yadav, 9 Mohammed Shami, 10 Jasprit Bumrah, 11 Mohammed Siraj.
England: 1 Jonny Bairstow, 2 Dawid Malan, 3 Joe Root, 4 Ben Stokes, 5 Jos Buttler (capt/wk), 6 Liam Livingstone, 7 Moeen Ali, 8 Chris Woakes, 9 David Willey, 10 Adil Rashid, 11 Mark Wood.
Eoin Morgan would’ve batted to get into the game, but thinks Buttler hopes the dew will bring the ball onto the bat late doors. I totally see why he wants to chase, but I do worry about England’s attack without the benefit of scoreboard pressure.
Rohit would’ve batted, the surface looks quite good. His team have had a week off which has given them time to see what’s going well and less well after a hectic start. India, too, are unchanged.
England win the toss and will field!
“More of a gut decision” says Jos Buttler and I imagine he just wants his team to chase, because that’s why they’re more comfy doing. The longer a bad spell goes on, the closer you are to getting out of it; England are unchanged.
India aren’t through with a win today, but they’re near. And it’s time for the toss…
India v England in the World Cup, though. Oooh yeah.
Of course, England can qualify if they win today; they can still qualify if they lose today, the permutations too numerous to list. More or less, if they win all their remaining fixtures – so beat India, Australia, Netherlands and Pakistan – they’ll have 10 points. SA and India are on that already with NZ and Australia on eight and a better net run-rate, so the chances any of those finish below the defending champs are exceedingly low.
Preamble
I’ll level with you, people: when I was allocated this game, I did not expect to be performing a post-mortem on a still-convulsing body. But here we are.
This World Cup has been a humiliation to rank with some of England’s finest – and it’s a stratospheric bar – except for one thing: England are world champions in 50 overs and world champions in T20.
We could still sit here and enumerate reasons for the failure, or ruminate on sadness of watching a lovable, epochal team of hard, sensitive men put over the knee in front of us – but we’d be foolish to. These players have changed the game, in the process upending everything everyone thought about English cricket and Test cricket, so regardless of the mess we’ve seen unfold over the last few weeks, they remain in eternal credit.
In sport, there’s little more enjoyable than watching a big dog ravaged, even if it’s by an even bigger dog. And India are everything England once were, a power-packed team in glorious form that’s been building to this point, inspired by the pressure and power of home advantage.
Thing is, England are still good – they’ve just made a lot of uncharacteristic errors, one after the other after the other – so they’re more than capable of finding a performance to give them and us the lap of honour we all deserve. But more likely, the might of everything IndIa bring to this means we spend the day balancing the amusing brutality of sport and our gratefulness to those who suffer it for our delectation.
Play: 2pm local, 8.30pm GMT
Updated
