Back in the Nineties, I was in a famous skateboard game. The Paris 2024 Olympic Games has been very good at dishing up moments of colour and intrigue. On a baking afternoon in the shadeless stands of the Place de la Concorde it delivered something new, a moment in the sun for 51‑year‑old men in cargo shorts everywhere. Welcome to the shock of the old. Welcome to the first and ideally final instalment of Dad Bloke Summer.
Olympic skateboarding has already made its mark in Paris and Tokyo. This is a thrilling, high-tariff sport. The women’s competition on Tuesday afternoon was captivating and occasionally brutal. A day later the men’s heats provided something else, not just a high-end medal competition eliminator but a stage for the 51-year-old Andy Macdonald to take to the ramps in the colours of Great Britain. Yes, really.
Although Macdonald is a very specific kind of cargo‑shorted 51-year-old. This isn’t Bob from Leicester who’s giving it a go, or someone’s dad who got bored in the garden. Macdonald is a pre-cooked skateboard legend. Winner of eight gold medals at the X Games. Turned pro at 12. Longtime pal of Tony Hawk and face of the imaginatively titled 1999 computer game Skateboarding Featuring Andy Macdonald, which is a skateboarding game featuring Andy Macdonald.
And yes, it is easy to see the flaws in this arrangement. The smart response to this will be to laugh vaguely and reproduce the image of Steve Buscemi holding a skateboard over his shoulder saying “how do you do, fellow kids?” which is frankly a millstone we need to get past. The 51-year-old men in cargo shorts community rejects that image. Yes, Steve Buscemi with a skateboard served a purpose. But we need new heroes now.
And yes also, Macdonald’s father was born in Luton, hence his qualification for Team GB, but seeing him in the flesh, feeling his star charm, the TV tan, the celebrity teeth, the thought occurred that if you were asked to imagine the least – with all due respect – Luton person possible, this is probably who you’d come up with.
And yes once again, to qualify for a GB Olympic spot he defeated a 12‑year‑old boy, which, as one 51-year-old dad to another, is kind of against the code. Point made. But you might just want to kind of let him do it. Maybe go and sit in the car and listen to a podcast or something.
For all that this was a lovely occasion, and an excellent level of competition. Mainly, it was an uplifting spectacle, and not just for 51-year-old men or 51-year-old women or older people generally, but for anybody who wants to be inspired to do things. But mainly it was inspiring for 51-year-old men in cargo shorts. Macdonald may not have been out there embodying Luton skateboard culture. But by the end, watching him work the crowd, beaming unstoppably, it was hard to avoid the sense he was representing another nation here. And that nation is the nation of 51-year-old men in cargo shorts.
Looking around at the other ageing men of the press seats, also in cargo shorts, worn now like a tribute, like replica kit, it was hard not to feel seen, represented. This is our flag. We have our Marchand, our Biles. We have … oh. Nothing. Just talking to myself. Nothing important.
In reality this was just a great sporting event. The Arena at La Concorde is spectacular, a kind of urban canyon housing a series of slopes and ramps. The staging is lively and fun, the crowd young and mixed, the brilliance of the athletes obvious and instantly gettable. Skateboarding is one of the best new Olympic sports, one that anyone can do, that doesn’t require possession of a horse or a functioning dock, just a piece of wood with some wheels and a slope.
The preliminaries were in the morning. From there only eight of 22 skateboarders would go through to the afternoon final. Macdonald was listed to go last. As the heat built to peak, that final group appeared.
Macdonald got a huge ovation as he was announced and it was hard in that moment not to feel a little nervous. He still looks great, lean and fit, just, it must be said, dad-fit next to these essentially weightless teens and twentysomethings. He did a groovy hand gesture for the cameras (don’t do that) and high‑fived another guy with long tangled surfer hair (also don’t do that). He’s a career champion. He’s also a 51-year-old dad in cargo shorts. Is this really going to be OK?
First up was Luigi Cini, 22, from Curitiba in Brazil, who reeled off a round of insanely brilliant tricks and flips and took a seriously impressive score of 89.10. Steven Piñeiro of Puerto Rico looked sublime, all easy grace and power. Third was Keefer Wilson, 17 and stunningly good, like a falling leaf being blown around the slopes and ridges.
As Macdonald stood there watching this you wondered if he might have one of those, yeah, maybe just go for a run instead moments. Does anyone want a drink? I think the parking might be running out. Instead he stepped up, launched himself into the empty air, and it was all just fine, expert, controlled. There were flips and turns and one 360 twirl.
He didn’t really do big air, or lots of intricate moves. He did it the old way, and people in their 40s and 50s might recognise this. As you age, so do your skills. You play old-fashioned football, with maybe a wall pass or a through ball. In cricket you bat suddenly like someone from the 1950s, high elbow, no run there. Your tennis is Virginia Wade. Hmm, yes, a topspin forehand.
Macdonald was doing it MCC‑handbook style, solid and dad-ish, like a man expertly setting up a tent, and it was all fine and good right up until the moment he fell on his backside doing his final leap, but leapt up smiling and saying no really it’s fine, I’m fine, how are you.
The ovation was huge. He waved and grinned. Second time around he hit 76.61. Third time out he was even better, hauling himself into 18th place. Crucially he didn’t fall off again, as pretty much everyone else did, which felt a bit like your dad actually winning at ping-pong because he stayed to put the table away.
The cheers were once again huge as he twirled his board and grinned for the cameras, having the time of his life out there. Later, he was late to talk to the press, drawing some not entirely unserious talk about needing to sit in a chair for a bit or just resting his eyes. But he looked fresh and pumped in the mixed zone, thrilling the gathered hardcore of cargo-shorted fiftysomething men, who asked age-appropriate questions like how’s your wife (frankly, it was a surprise no one asked for tips on a good organic IPA, or what do they call the judge with no fingers, answer: Justice Thumbs).
But by then Macdonald had already charmed everyone present, and offered in the process the most obvious reason for his presence here, the fact that he is a superstar and that this will just be good for skateboarding. Plus, right off the bat, he gave the perfect dad-level soundbite: “If they’re giving away gold medals for whoever has the most fun, I got it wrapped up, right?” Yes king. Preach.
