I know what Sean Dyche’s players will be going through against Bournemouth on Sunday as I was in a similar position against Coventry City some 25 years ago but while the rest of my team-mates were back in the home changing room after the game, I was being held by my throat against a wall!
I’d gone down following a heavy collision by the Family Enclosure and had been left with a hole in my leg after a stud in the knee cap. Andy Jones immediately waved his hands to say I had to come off but when I pushed him away, he slapped me across the face.
Teary-eyed I walked down the steps back towards the tunnel and Howard Kendall asked me what was up. In rather unsavoury terms I let him know that the physio wouldn’t let me play on.
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The gaffer asked whether I wanted to. I said yes so Howard told me: “Well get back on the pitch lad.”
Afterwards there was an outpouring of relief on the pitch but they weren’t celebrations. I was getting thrown up against the wall by the club doctor at the time as he thought I should have left the field of play as I had a hole in my knee and we had a huge disagreement.
I went against medical advice as I didn’t want to leave the field, I wanted to give everything I could to help us get the result we needed to keep us in the Premier League. Over the last 10 minutes or so, according to the doctor, I was moving half a yard too slow and he thought I could have put the club in jeopardy but I disagreed and we were arguing in the medical room before I ended up leaving the ground on crutches and with a bottle of pills.
I remember before the game, Howard taking us away to a hotel to make sure we had a good sleep and had good food while taking us out of the city to make it different and an occasion. Heading to Goodison Park, we could see the rows of fans waiting for us and being a local lad I knew how much it meant to everybody.
That really doesn’t matter though because at the end of the day, you’ve got a job to do. You’ve got to win your battles and hope that your team-mates will do the same.
You need a bit of good fortune here and there and luckily we had that. We missed a penalty and the atmosphere darkened towards the end when Dion Dublin equalised.
Normally the lads used to get the tunes on but I recall that before the game it was pretty quiet. I used to be pretty quiet and focus on myself before matches anyway and make sure I did everything I needed to do.
You want your team-mates to show for the ball, to help each other out as team-mates rather than hiding. As a left-back I’d look up and I’d want Don Hutchison or whoever to come to the ball and give me options as there’s nothing worse as a defender to look up and nobody wants it as you’re the one who can make mistakes.
I’ve seen Barry Horne speaking at dinners about his goal against Wimbledon in the final game in 1994 and it’s a subject that’s got to be brought up with him and Everton Football Club but it’s not a story he’s proud of. He’s glad he scored the goal and was able to help the club but he had no pride in the situation that Everton found themselves in on that day.
It’s similar to the likes of myself who played against Coventry City in 1998, it was a massive piece of history for the football club but for all the wrong reasons. We’re in that position once again and we’ve got to give everything to keep ourselves in the division.
When I was at PSV, our games were typically in the evenings after Premier League matches so I’d watch the fixtures back home beforehand and while I’m not sure who exactly it was, I remember watching a team stay up on the last day of the season. Their fans were on the pitch and I was pleased for them.
A couple of the Dutch players came over and asked me what was going on and I tried to explain but they were so confused. They wondered why the fans were on the pitch and I told them it’s because their team had stayed up and it was relief.
The Dutch players then said: ‘So they’re celebrating being s*** all season?’ I told them that they didn’t get it and it was the passion of English football and I’d lived it myself but now at 43 years of age, I understand what my Dutch team-mates were talking about.
We saw it last year when we came back from 2-0 down to beat Crystal Palace but it was relief, staying in the Premier League shouldn’t be something to celebrate. Mentally and physically, I’m not ready to do all that again but unfortunately we’ve got to.
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