After a life of struggling to fit in and concluding she must be a loner, a 40-year-old woman has had a life-changing diagnosis.
Carrie Kearns always knew she was different but the woman- from Bolton- has been relieved to find out there was a reason all along. The mum-of-two was told she had autism which went a long way to explain why she struggled with relationships and articulating her feelings.
"Ever since I was a child, I noticed I was different," she told the Manchester Evening News. "I didn’t seem to be able to fit in with other children my age and I was always a bit of a loner playing out on my own; I was more interested in nature and playing with plants and bugs than the games my friends were playing.
"I was bullied a lot because I came across as weird. I never seemed to get them, the games they played or the way they spoke. There were a lot of misunderstandings because I would take things too deeply and miss the point.
"The way I would dress wasn’t in line with the fashion at the time and I wasn’t dressing the same as other people. As I got older, I found work was difficult because I would get in trouble for speaking my mind. I was quite passionate and it would come out as me being aggressive."
But worst of all was the constant daily tiredness she felt after work. When she received her autism diagnosis she was told it was because she'd been "masking all day trying to fit in".
Autism is a complex, lifelong developmental disability that typically appears during early childhood and can impact a person's social skills, communication, relationships, and self-regulation.
Autistic people may find some aspects of communication and social interaction challenging. They may have difficulty relating to people and understanding their emotions. Autistic adults may also have inflexible thought patterns and behaviour and may carry out repetitive actions.
Carrie started to read up on autism after her young son was diagnosed. She noticed similar traits within herself – especially from when she was growing up. After talking to her GP she did her own research and realised she had many autism traits.
"It was the only thing that fit and made a lot of sense," she continued. "You can’t tell if someone is autistic but you can tell there’s something different about someone. My therapist said I was high-functioning because I have a husband and children.
"But when people say you’re high-functioning, the reason the labels are so misleading are because it takes something away from the individual but doesn’t speak for their troubles. I thought I was grumpy and snappy as a kid but those moments were meltdowns when everything got a bit too much and I was overwhelmed and over stimulated. That’s why I found social interactions so exhausting.
"I was really lucky with the diagnosis because it didn’t take that long. I was only waiting around six months which is absolutely amazing."
She received her official diagnosis six weeks after contacting her GP.
She added: "It is a relief finding out you’re autistic because you realise there’s nothing wrong with me, I understand the way I think and the way I act and I do things is normal for me and it’s okay to do those things and be that way."
