A man tried to talk his wife into trying polyamory and encouraged her to go find a new boyfriend - but she refused, so he went and had an affair instead.
The 36-year-old man wishes to remain anonymous but goes by the name Nate, and said that over the years the passion has died in his relationship.
Initially, Nate and his wife couldn't keep their hands off each other, but with two children and the mounting stresses of everyday life their bedroom soon grew cold.
Nate suggested opening up their relationship and tried to convince his wife to give a new lover a go, but while they discussed it several times, ultimately she failed to put any effort into the permitted tryst.
Growing despondent, Nate decided that he would carry on with the plan anyway - and went out found a series of lovers to entertain himself with, all behind his wife's back.
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Nate, who is from the South East of the UK and works in global marketing, said: "It's something we discussed, that we would want to try out.
"It's less me saying I'd like to do it, it's more from me saying I find it really hot and exciting if she went out and had fun with someone else for a little bit then came home and told me about it, and opened the relationship in that way - so not me going out and finding another partner.
"It didn't take, we discussed it in different ways but it's not something that she's interested in.
"I think it's more due to a traditional concept of relationships and things - you sign up to being together for life and I guess that kind of conservative way of having a relationship, but I've been interested in how we can open it up and explore a bit more.
"We're committed partners and love each other and all the rest of it, but throughout the lifetime of our relationship we should explore and have fun, in a way that feeds the relationship and refreshes it - but yeah, it's not something that's caught on."
Determined to keep his own love life alive, Nate signed up to Ashley Madison - a Canadian dating service targeting people who are married or in relationships who are looking for affairs.
Since then, he's had a number of illicit encounters - which he insists have strengthened his relationship with his wife, who is a little older than he is.
He continued: "I wanted a bit more excitement in my life - we're only on this planet for a certain amount of time, and we're only able to have that kind of fun for a period of our life - when we're old things might not work.
"I very much wanted more sexual excitement in my life so if I wasn't going to get that form a relationship with my partner I was going to get it another way.
"It's great, it's enhanced our relationship in many ways, in part because I'm no longer badgering her into doing things she doesn't want to do.
"We've got a couple of kids, in those early days there was more spark - it was much more fiery, you could describe it as that honeymoon period - maybe the kind of monotony of being with that same person and seeing that same person, it dries things up a bit.
"You can do lots of different things to freshen it up and bring more spice into the relationship but if the other person doesn't want to do it, doing different positions or lingerie, if the other person isn't willing to engage with any of that, it can be difficult to freshen up the sex life.
"We've both lost interest but in different ways, it's very vanilla, very routine, it's unfulfilling.
"I've found a few people on Ashley Madison, it's been a lot of fun - it's not led to anything that's been as rewarding, but I've had a few affairs with different women over the years.
"Most of the time they seem to be in a similar position, things have dried up at home and they're not able to do that refreshing.
"They don't want to disturb things at home, they just want to have some fun and try things out."
Nate said that he's always had a high sex drive but now has to settle for around one hook-up a week, as any more than that and his wife would become suspicious.
He said that he still has to be careful, as sometimes his girlfriends send him messages or pictures and he has to delete them before his wife finds them.
He added: "I've always had a high sex drive, once a week would be fine, but if you're really hot for someone and there's a lot of anticipation and a lot of sexting each other, it could be multiple times a week - but I've not done that with any of my partners, it's all very discreet and has to be planned carefully.
"It will be a few times a month maybe, depending on logistics and things. Once a week is fine.
"It's arranged through the site. If we're both comfortable then we take the chat onto Whatsapp or that kind of thing, where you can keep things secure and discreet but not out of the ordinary.
"You have to make sure you delete things, I generally only use work time to chat or message that kind of thing - at weekends I'm with my family and it's too risky, I don't want that as a distraction. I compartmentalise my time.
"My wife's never caught me or seen anything, but there's been a couple of occasions where I've forgotten to delete something and she's picked up the phone and my mouth's gone dry, I've thought, 'what am I going to do?'
"Or I'm driving and she asks to look at my phone, but nothing's ever come out. Keep it web-based and don't keep anything on your phone, and make sure you've got a cover story, that's my advice.
"My wife would definitely be devastated if she found out, and for a little while I was very conscious of that and the guilt around it, but over time I've tried to have those conversations with her and I've not made any progress - I kind of think if no one is unhappy about it, then it's ok.
"I think that's where non-monogamous relations are important, having these conversations and being really clear about what's acceptable and what's not acceptable - so it doesn't have to be a secret. It should be fun, and a great experience for everyone."
Despite his own extramarital affairs, Nate said he would feel betrayed if he found out his wife was having an affair.
He said: "Partly it depends on the circumstances, as I've tried to talk to her about doing that very thing, I'd want her to be open and honest about it beforehand.
"If she said she wanted to try it out I'd be fine about it, I'd be like, 'great, fantastic, let's give it a go', but I wouldn't like it if she did it behind my back.
"That would be difficult, but I would acknowledge that I'd been encouraging her to do that. I don't think I'd feel as betrayed as if we hadn't talked about it, and if I wasn't doing what I have been doing.
"My view is that if couples were able to have those discussions, you'd see a lot less affairs and divorces, a lot less betrayal because it wouldn't be that sort of betrayal.
"People need to get better at talking, and listening - it's about listening and reflecting on it.
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