A police officer who has just become a father said he’s looking to leave the force after feeling ashamed he could not be more present for the first few weeks of his son’s life.
He is one of a number of officers who have come forward to share their stories after research found that forces are still lagging behind the private sector on paternity leave.
Freedom of information data from 36 forces found that only five forces offer two or more weeks of paternity leave on full pay, with the rest offering just one week of paternity leave on full pay followed by one week of statutory pay. Among those offering just one week full pay, 60 per cent of officers go back after one week.
The serving officer in one of England’s largest cities, who spoke to The Independent on condition of anonymity, described how his now five-month-old son was born a few weeks early with jaundice.
He was unable to go to all the follow-up medical appointments and was expected to be working while his newborn son was sick. He explained: “My son was really poorly and I just didn’t want to be there. I was at work but I didn’t feel I was effective in any way.
“My wife was at home but she was exhausted, shattered, and had a low mood. I felt so bad that I couldn’t be there for her as much as she may have wanted me to or needed me to.”
Though he was able to change his paternity leave dates, he only had one week of fully paid leave and couldn’t afford to take a second week on statutory pay – which is £187.18 a week.
“It was tough. Five months in, and I still look back and I feel a bit ashamed,” he says. “I’m very quick to respond to the public’s family problems, but I felt like I wasn’t able to respond to my own family problems. I do feel ashamed. I feel like I’ve missed on some parts of my son’s start to life.”
He explained that he had been looking for jobs outside of the police because he wanted to have more time for his family.
“I would leave yesterday if given the opportunity. I have been looking for jobs. I wouldn’t want to earn less than now, and I’m looking for something with stability and I would be looking at the paternity conditions.
“When I joined the police over a decade ago, I didn’t really think about that, but now I’ve lost out on some valuable moments that I will never get back.”
He said he’s felt shame at his parenting class, with other dads shocked that he was back at work after just a week. The officer said he hoped that police forces would increase their paternity leave entitlements and pay fathers for that time.
Research conducted by Pregnant Then Screwed last year, which surveyed 35,800 parents, found that 63.7 per cent of fathers took two weeks or less paternity leave following the birth of their child.
A third of fathers reported being able to take more leave, but only half of these actually did so. Just 32.3 per cent of fathers who took two weeks or less felt they were ready to return to work physically after their paternity leave.
Though fathers in the UK are universally allowed to take two weeks off, some companies in the private sector offer more generous schemes. At consulting firm Deloitte, for example, all new parents are eligible to take 26 weeks of fully paid leave.
In the police, back office staff can sometimes be eligible for more paternity leave than frontline officers. In the Met, civilian staff are entitled to three weeks of paternity leave at full pay, compared to one week fully paid and one week statutory for officers.
Paternity leave for police officers is governed by regulations set by the Home Office. Acting Deputy National Secretary Mel Warnes, of the Police Federation of England and Wales, said: “The lack of consistent access to family leave in the police service is a disgrace.
“For over a decade now, police officers have fallen behind other employees owing to regulations not being amended.”
George Gabriel, co-founder of The Dad Shift, a campaign group who collated the freedom of information data, said: “It’s no secret the police are struggling to hold onto officers, and if serving in the police means you hardly get any time with your kids and your marriage might break down, I can see why. If the police want to stop officers resigning, they need to look at supporting dads and other parents better - starting with giving them better paternity leave.”
One wife of a police firearms officer told The Independent how her husband had to return to work a 12-hour nightshift just days after she gave birth to their son because their child arrived before the due date.
The police officer was not allowed to move his two weeks’ paternity leave earlier, despite his son arriving three weeks early with medical complications.
As a result he had to go back to work on the day that his wife Sarah returned home from hospital with their new baby - four days after she had given birth.
Sarah, whose name has been changed to avoid identifying the serving police officer, said that the strain of her husband’s work schedule put a “big strain on our relationship” and that male police officers are ridiculed or challenged if they try and request flexibility to help with childcare.
She said her husband was able to book annual leave off for the first few days after their son, who is now five, was born.
“We were home for the first time with a newborn baby who was poorly and he had to go and do a 12-hour night shift, carrying a firearm. he was obviously very tired, stressed and worried. It was really scary for both of us.
“It was a big strain on our relationship because I was just on my own so much. It went beyond paternity leave. There’s an expectation in the police that you will miss birthdays, Christmas, parents evening - getting time off in the school holidays is a nightmare.”
The Home Office has been contacted for comment.
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