I went to a special effort to throw a party in my garden to toast not just one Queen but the many I have in my life, although they’re not the sort you’d find in Buckingham Palace.
For many a household across Scotland, the whole thing was an excuse to get drunk and enjoy a couple of days off work rather than “celebrating Her Majesty’s historic reign”.
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a royalist.
Yes, I believe in Scotland remaining part of the UK but I don’t think the Windsors play any part in that and, as the years go on, they become more irrelevant. I’ve grappled with my feelings about the royals and what they represent.
On one hand, they’re a valuable tourist attraction, part of our nation’s history.
On the other, the monarchy is built on war, colonialism and slavery and don’t get me started on the sickening elitism, privilege and inherited wealth they enjoy today.
Until recent years, the last time they were even on my radar was when Diana died, then Meghan Markle arrived and they suddenly became current and interesting.
For the first time in my life, I waved a Union Jack and got behind the family as Megs and Harry tied the knot, Cool Britannia was back and a black woman was joining the gang.
Hoorah! I rejoiced at the thought of future royal portraits representing the diverse and colourful country we live in… but we all know how that ended.
Unfortunately for the Windsors, times change and so has their image around the world.
I cringed at Kate and William touring the Caribbean through gritted teeth as more countries declared their intentions to remove the Queen as head of state and the well-wishers greeting the touring couple with open arms were replaced with protesters and talk of reparations.
Prince Andrew paying off a woman who accused him of sexual assault caused unprecedented damage to “The Firm”, as did his mother’s unfailing support of him following the multi- million-pound settlement.
Then there was that bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey where the Duke and Duchess of Sussex revealed a family unable to deal with mental health issues, a father who cut off his son financially, feuding brothers and accusations of racism towards an unborn child.
The whole institution is built on the idea that they are somehow better than their subjects, a cut above us mere mortals, but the facade is rapidly fading and recent events have shown that, alas, they’re just like us.
I do have an affection for the Queen but the truth is she holds her position through sheer luck.
She’s happy to parade around in jewels derived from conquests and exploitation and, with a secret wealth rumoured to be worth hundreds of millions, it doesn’t sit right with me.
The jubilee weekend is one big public relations campaign and I still fell for it – hook, line and sinker.
But she’s done her bit and perhaps now would be the perfect time for her and the monarchy to bow out gracefully.
Michelle Keegan
Brassic star Michelle Keegan who has landed a role in Australia taking her away from her husband Mark Wright for months.
It’s been almost two years since my hubby Jonatan moved to Finland to Manage FC TPS.
We both saw it as a great opportunity to further his career and it was never in question that I would give up my work to join him so we’ve been living apart.
I’m not going to pretend it’s easy. I have at least one meltdown per week, I curse the distance between us on a daily basis and we often question if it’s worth it. But it is.
Long distance marriages can work as long as there’s constant communication, patience and bucket loads of support.
CBBC
I’m sad to hear CBBC will move online in the next couple of years.
I have a real affection for the Channel as I started my career there presenting numerous after school shows and learning my trade as a TV Presenter.
If you think of the big names in telly today like Holly Willoughby, Fearne Cotton and Ant and Dec – they all started off in children’s TV.
As a parent I think children’s programming is massively important, unlike Tik Tok and You Tube, kids TV is regulated, it’s always safe and appropriate as well as entertaining and informative.
I grew up on Newsround, Blue Peter and dramas like Byker Grove and Tracey Beaker, they were shows made for kids, starring kids and they weren’t there to sell products, start hashtags or gain followers.
The BBC had to make cuts but I think moving CBBC was a bad call.
On The Up
I’m delighted to have bagged another show on Channel 4 and this one is Prime Time! Keys To A Fortune will help reunite families with homes and relatives they didn’t know they had.
I’m thrilled to be onboard with a show that’s entertaining, new, full of surprises and has so much heart.
I can exclusively reveal I’ve filmed with my first inheritors and it was an emotional rollercoaster, I had to stop myself from crying and getting carried away with the excitement of revealing a property that could change their lives.
My contributors have no idea about these hidden treasures that have been left to them by a person they’ve never met or sometimes even heard of and it’s a privilege to be standing there and sharing that special moment with them.
I’m nervous about fronting my own show but I’ve worked tirelessly the past few years and it feels like my hard graft has paid off.
In The Bin
Calvin Harris’ Primal diet can go straight in the bin as I don’t think any of us wish to be regularly chomping down on bone marrow, liver and testicles as part of the ‘carnivorous’ movement.
Can’t he just sit down to a normal tea like the rest of us?
The Dumfries born DJ said he’s feeling re-energised after ditching the ‘frutarian raw vegan thing’ in favour of a ‘primal diet’ which he’s also encouraging his collaborators to adopt.
He confessed he’d lost his ‘f**k you’ juice (whatever that is) but it all came rushing back as soon as he started eating bones and liver.
Apparently his new diet has encouraged his new attitude, which is ‘Let’s have a laugh’. Well, we’re laughing with you Calvin…no, honestly we are.
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